you’ll never be as clever as the people who use some variation of the phrase “_____ is an inside job” think they are

T bought sour cream at Costco, which means we have more sour cream on the premises than is fathomable or that we will ever use. A vat. A vat of sour cream. AMA, I guess

my 11:30 meeting just cancelled, so that means I can lay down on my couch for the half hour it would’ve taken, right? That’s how this works? 🙏🏻

Without downloading any new pics where are you at mentally

me checking all of the apps I got to replace the bird app

ah, summer