I WANT ALL THE DISPATCH GIRLS TO WORKPLACE VIOLATE ME

I'm like Dexter but for manipulative people

*Person who greets me with snogging gifs*
*Person who finishes every message with "I love you"*
*Person who drew me a picture for my birthday*
Me: "Wow, all these people must secretly hate me"

Felt too self-conscious saying it was my birthday so tried to be subtle and cryptic, instead just came across arrogant and self-centred. Think 2 and a half hours is a new record for me ruining my own birthday

the trick to not getting eaten by preds is to make puns so bad they spit you back out offended

panty tf but they cant remember which ones you were

the healing power of fat girltummy knows no limits