Chris
@napalmmaestro.bsky.social
The colossal "wait what" my day drunk ass just let out in this alcoholic ice cream store before I realized it's a baby changing station
October 21, 2025 at 9:01 PM
The colossal "wait what" my day drunk ass just let out in this alcoholic ice cream store before I realized it's a baby changing station
Enjoying the beautiful contrast of @edzitron.com ripping through the finances of the AI dorks while this Vietnamese joint plays supremely peaceful piano music
October 21, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Enjoying the beautiful contrast of @edzitron.com ripping through the finances of the AI dorks while this Vietnamese joint plays supremely peaceful piano music
Casually hanging out with the Sylvan Esso and Bon Iver guys at my local bar and, man, if this were when I was in college I'd be using it to run through white girls like iced coffee. Now I just wanna go to sleep and change my shoes
October 13, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Casually hanging out with the Sylvan Esso and Bon Iver guys at my local bar and, man, if this were when I was in college I'd be using it to run through white girls like iced coffee. Now I just wanna go to sleep and change my shoes
*my friend Jason and I comparing scars we got from doing dumb shit and not getting stitches*
His Russian girlfriend: what the actual fuck is wrong with both of you
His Russian girlfriend: what the actual fuck is wrong with both of you
September 27, 2025 at 6:25 AM
*my friend Jason and I comparing scars we got from doing dumb shit and not getting stitches*
His Russian girlfriend: what the actual fuck is wrong with both of you
His Russian girlfriend: what the actual fuck is wrong with both of you
Reposted by Chris
great news! you're not actually seeing karl rove, john yoo, and david frum criticize the administration's lawlessness more stridently than dem leadership. you, reader, were infected with rabies by a brown bat 36 hours ago and this is all just the virus working its way through your nervous system
September 18, 2025 at 2:11 AM
great news! you're not actually seeing karl rove, john yoo, and david frum criticize the administration's lawlessness more stridently than dem leadership. you, reader, were infected with rabies by a brown bat 36 hours ago and this is all just the virus working its way through your nervous system
Reposted by Chris
Trying to take courage from Bolsonaro's sentencing today. Nothing is inevitable, and fighting for the right thing always matters.
September 12, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Trying to take courage from Bolsonaro's sentencing today. Nothing is inevitable, and fighting for the right thing always matters.
Living alone fucks because no one has to know I yelled "no my magical shit juice" when I spilled an Ollipop
August 24, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Living alone fucks because no one has to know I yelled "no my magical shit juice" when I spilled an Ollipop
Good morning to the person I saw with the bumper sticker that read "times new roman" in comic sans, and only that person
August 20, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Good morning to the person I saw with the bumper sticker that read "times new roman" in comic sans, and only that person
Reposted by Chris
jet fuel can’t melt steel beams but it CAN melt fudge, proving my theory that the World Trade Centers were made of fudge
August 14, 2025 at 6:37 PM
jet fuel can’t melt steel beams but it CAN melt fudge, proving my theory that the World Trade Centers were made of fudge
Reposted by Chris
This sounds going viral here’s the original Sinéad O’Connor performance
August 13, 2025 at 12:38 PM
This sounds going viral here’s the original Sinéad O’Connor performance
Reposted by Chris
my roomie's car is in the shop and he's got a Ram 2500 loaner, so I've been driving it out of curiosity. first impressions:
1. i have stopped using turn signals
2. my eyes no longer register whatever a "crosswalk" is
3. sober so far but i really think four to eight drinks would help me drive
1. i have stopped using turn signals
2. my eyes no longer register whatever a "crosswalk" is
3. sober so far but i really think four to eight drinks would help me drive
August 2, 2025 at 7:34 PM
my roomie's car is in the shop and he's got a Ram 2500 loaner, so I've been driving it out of curiosity. first impressions:
1. i have stopped using turn signals
2. my eyes no longer register whatever a "crosswalk" is
3. sober so far but i really think four to eight drinks would help me drive
1. i have stopped using turn signals
2. my eyes no longer register whatever a "crosswalk" is
3. sober so far but i really think four to eight drinks would help me drive
Reposted by Chris
It took 13 years of hard and thankless work, but our revolutionary forces have finally managed to produce the world's most hideous sofa.
July 23, 2025 at 3:18 AM
It took 13 years of hard and thankless work, but our revolutionary forces have finally managed to produce the world's most hideous sofa.
Reposted by Chris
ever y time i see like 200 fireworks going off I imagine that theyre being shot at an aliens ufo just rocking the shit out of his stupid ass
July 20, 2025 at 9:51 AM
ever y time i see like 200 fireworks going off I imagine that theyre being shot at an aliens ufo just rocking the shit out of his stupid ass
Y'all ever been so single you cup yr own balls when you piss?
July 20, 2025 at 6:48 AM
Y'all ever been so single you cup yr own balls when you piss?
Reposted by Chris
Deeply uninterested in hearing about what any AI has to say in response to any question, it’s like getting a parrot’s opinion but not fun because the parrot has the funny high-pitched voice and says things so quickly
July 18, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Deeply uninterested in hearing about what any AI has to say in response to any question, it’s like getting a parrot’s opinion but not fun because the parrot has the funny high-pitched voice and says things so quickly
Reposted by Chris
if you're participating in hot dog clickbait this year, let's talk about the street vendors and meatpacking employees being kidnapped from their place of work. THAT'S a hot dog story.
you'll have to excuse me, im packing to leave for the nathan's contest
you'll have to excuse me, im packing to leave for the nathan's contest
July 3, 2025 at 8:54 AM
if you're participating in hot dog clickbait this year, let's talk about the street vendors and meatpacking employees being kidnapped from their place of work. THAT'S a hot dog story.
you'll have to excuse me, im packing to leave for the nathan's contest
you'll have to excuse me, im packing to leave for the nathan's contest
Just let out what I can only describe as the most forceful burp of my life. Came out like a handclap. Remarkable
July 2, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Just let out what I can only describe as the most forceful burp of my life. Came out like a handclap. Remarkable
Reposted by Chris
"Thiel is developing an AI condom called Sting that glows blue in the presence of females with a suboptimal racial genetic background"
Peter Thiel is founding yet another company named after something from Middle Earth.
This time it’s a bank named Erebor, a reference to the mountain which holds Smaug’s piles of gold and treasure.
This time it’s a bank named Erebor, a reference to the mountain which holds Smaug’s piles of gold and treasure.
Peter Thiel joins tech billionaires backing new lender Erebor to rival Silicon Valley Bank
Start-up named after the dragon’s mountain in ‘Lord of the Rings’
www.ft.com
July 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM
"Thiel is developing an AI condom called Sting that glows blue in the presence of females with a suboptimal racial genetic background"
This week in Chris's's Life Is Madlibs: relearning how to salsa after like 13 years so I can try to impress an Iranian girl I met a while back
June 26, 2025 at 11:14 PM
This week in Chris's's Life Is Madlibs: relearning how to salsa after like 13 years so I can try to impress an Iranian girl I met a while back
Reposted by Chris
David Hogg is cooking lately
June 26, 2025 at 5:13 PM
David Hogg is cooking lately
Reposted by Chris
"This being on TV I consider a victory for the shitposter community"
Isso aqui estar na TV eu considero uma vitória da comunidade shitposter
June 25, 2025 at 6:56 PM
"This being on TV I consider a victory for the shitposter community"
NPR just played the intro to "Settle For Nothing" by RATM as a bump, and I'm sorry, but you don't get to spend that much time carrying water for Netanyahu and then play That Song by That Band
June 24, 2025 at 9:25 AM
NPR just played the intro to "Settle For Nothing" by RATM as a bump, and I'm sorry, but you don't get to spend that much time carrying water for Netanyahu and then play That Song by That Band
Reposted by Chris
This is still the funniest image Nintendo has ever produced. Luigi, sitting down with his L coffee, reading up on some of the worst atrocities ever perpetuated by humanity: "OH MAMMA MIA"
January 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM
This is still the funniest image Nintendo has ever produced. Luigi, sitting down with his L coffee, reading up on some of the worst atrocities ever perpetuated by humanity: "OH MAMMA MIA"
Reposted by Chris
hey panera can we have the lemonade that kills us again
June 22, 2025 at 12:35 AM
hey panera can we have the lemonade that kills us again