Also, I know all this goes way beyond the original context of those two sentences. But I don't care. They resonate bigger

And our world is so biased toward individualism and independence and personal agency. I don't stand a chance. I feel blamed for not doing better when I literally can't. (But other people, sicker than I, have done. Good for them. I'm tired)

I cannot begin to express how much I wish I could just make the right choices and cure my body. The truth is, I could do everything right, past and future, and still be disabled. That sucks. I hate it.

To answer my own question: I don't have TB, but oh boy do I have illness. The chronic kind that has robbed me of so much agency and control. The loss of those two things is possibly the worst part of having a broken immune system

I've also been slowly reading The Extinction of Irena Rey by Jennifer Croft - it's been taking me all month because it is SO GOOD and I want to savor it, but I keep reading other books instead so I feel productive

The Meade Mishaps books are just fun, fast, and dirty reads. As are the Ruinous Love books, but those maybe have a little more emphasis on dirty.

Personal Librarian is excellent, A Symphony of Echoes is the second in a series that really wants to be a TV show. Emily Wilde is always delightful, Honey Witch was sweet and cozy

Anyway, I think they're pretty.

Or maybe they're just flowers.

Does that make the metaphor something about how randomly a few extra resilient things will make the most of dubious circumstances? With well intentioned but ultimately insufficient caretakers, a few special ones will rise above and flourish while everyone else just doesn't make it?

But what about the many many orchids that I have killed? I don't really do anything different with any of them. Some of them survive, many don't.

I give my orchid really basic care. So does that mean the metaphor is that a seemingly fragile thing will thrive if its very basic needs are met?

They're not that hard to take care of and will re-bloom fairly easily. I have three. The one pictured, another is about to bloom. The third had a bloom recently, but my cat knocked the bud off the stalk.

But orchids are not really expensive or exotic. I can get one at the grocery store now for the same price as a dozen eggs

I used to think orchids were really fussy, fragile, difficult, special plants. Lovely, but expensive and exotic and easy to kill. My mom loved them, but seemed to treat them not unlike cut flowers - disposable after the final flower wilted

The paladin books were mid. I love Kingfisher, but the romance part of romantacy is maybe not my cup of tea. Oh. And Just One Damn Thing was a fun, madcap, adventure.

Neil Shusterman and Suzanne Collins never fail me. Letters to the Luminous Deep was great, but took me a minute to really get into. The Dream Harbor series is exactly what it promises. Baba Yaga was kind of disappointing.