Mary Mayheminem
@myevilvalentine.bsky.social
Pastry chef, mom to children & pets, married, she/her 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Here to mess up.
Boops: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lqmk3yojyhz5tnoe5e6zzpma/feed/aaaoin4cyhcue
Beeps: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lqmk3yojyhz5tnoe5e6zzpma/feed/aaaoim5pia4ou
Here to mess up.
Boops: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lqmk3yojyhz5tnoe5e6zzpma/feed/aaaoin4cyhcue
Beeps: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lqmk3yojyhz5tnoe5e6zzpma/feed/aaaoim5pia4ou
Pinned
“To be cringe is to be free.”
-my teenager giving me a pep talk I neither asked for nor needed
-my teenager giving me a pep talk I neither asked for nor needed
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Can’t. Avoiding reality.
March 12, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Can’t. Avoiding reality.
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
March 15th Playlist:
•You can’t hide your lyin’ ides
•Ides without a face
•She’s got Bette Davis ides
•Blue ides cryin’ in the rain
•Smoke gets in your ides
•Can’t take my ides off you
•Ide rather go blind
•You can’t hide your lyin’ ides
•Ides without a face
•She’s got Bette Davis ides
•Blue ides cryin’ in the rain
•Smoke gets in your ides
•Can’t take my ides off you
•Ide rather go blind
March 15, 2025 at 1:36 PM
March 15th Playlist:
•You can’t hide your lyin’ ides
•Ides without a face
•She’s got Bette Davis ides
•Blue ides cryin’ in the rain
•Smoke gets in your ides
•Can’t take my ides off you
•Ide rather go blind
•You can’t hide your lyin’ ides
•Ides without a face
•She’s got Bette Davis ides
•Blue ides cryin’ in the rain
•Smoke gets in your ides
•Can’t take my ides off you
•Ide rather go blind
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Pronouncing the word police as poh-LICE
March 13, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Pronouncing the word police as poh-LICE
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
I don’t know about you but I find the constant rage to be quite slimming
March 15, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I don’t know about you but I find the constant rage to be quite slimming
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
fun fact: Julius Caesar's last known words were, "why's everyone acting so fucking weird???"
March 15, 2025 at 2:00 PM
fun fact: Julius Caesar's last known words were, "why's everyone acting so fucking weird???"
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
C.R.E.A.M.
Cats
Rule
Everything
Around
Me
Cats
Rule
Everything
Around
Me
March 2, 2025 at 2:17 AM
C.R.E.A.M.
Cats
Rule
Everything
Around
Me
Cats
Rule
Everything
Around
Me
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
Went out, had a few drinks, nice guy. He's a Web Designer.
Went out, had a few drinks, nice guy. He's a Web Designer.
March 2, 2025 at 2:47 AM
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
Went out, had a few drinks, nice guy. He's a Web Designer.
Went out, had a few drinks, nice guy. He's a Web Designer.
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Some people make you sorry you met them immediately and frankly I think it’s a good skill we have
March 1, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Some people make you sorry you met them immediately and frankly I think it’s a good skill we have
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
the best accessories will always be books
March 1, 2025 at 8:33 PM
the best accessories will always be books
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
I tried LOL’ing but WTF’ing is as far as I could get
March 1, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I tried LOL’ing but WTF’ing is as far as I could get
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
I wish that everything worthwhile wasn’t hidden in a cave behind a waterfall but that’s just the way it is kid
March 1, 2025 at 2:46 AM
I wish that everything worthwhile wasn’t hidden in a cave behind a waterfall but that’s just the way it is kid
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
am i allowed to talk to futurechild with only a comical accent for the first few years of their life as a bit
February 28, 2025 at 5:32 PM
am i allowed to talk to futurechild with only a comical accent for the first few years of their life as a bit
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Husband seducing me with dryer repair [swoon]
February 28, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Husband seducing me with dryer repair [swoon]
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
A 1980s sick day with some Bob Barker Price is Right and alphabet soup would fix me.
February 28, 2025 at 3:55 AM
A 1980s sick day with some Bob Barker Price is Right and alphabet soup would fix me.
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Oops, I did it again (bought more books I fully intend to read… eventually).
March 1, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Oops, I did it again (bought more books I fully intend to read… eventually).
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
“Baby steps,” I tell myself as I straighten my diaper and toddle off to the Gerber casting call
February 27, 2025 at 5:27 AM
“Baby steps,” I tell myself as I straighten my diaper and toddle off to the Gerber casting call
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Why do we call it running errands, rather than store trek?
February 27, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Why do we call it running errands, rather than store trek?
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
pingu, who are you?
i was forced to post this post
by a platypus
i was forced to post this post
by a platypus
February 28, 2025 at 10:48 PM
pingu, who are you?
i was forced to post this post
by a platypus
i was forced to post this post
by a platypus
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
The question with no answer: is the laundry in the drier cold or still wet?
February 28, 2025 at 9:41 PM
The question with no answer: is the laundry in the drier cold or still wet?
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
R2-D2 vs. the Butlerian Jihad
February 28, 2025 at 11:24 PM
R2-D2 vs. the Butlerian Jihad
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
"Kids, hold daddy's glasses while he battle raps this fool."
February 28, 2025 at 5:13 PM
"Kids, hold daddy's glasses while he battle raps this fool."
Reposted by Mary Mayheminem
Forever chasing the high of those scented markers that smelled like fruit. I mean I think they made you a little high 🫠
February 28, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Forever chasing the high of those scented markers that smelled like fruit. I mean I think they made you a little high 🫠