And they actually enjoy letting me express myself. They are here to help me, and they are not sighing when I open my mouth or ignoring me when I want to be heard.

And on that note— to the friends who may be reading this:

Thank you 💛

Fighting back against that line of thought and struggling to trust that these people wanted to be there, that they enjoyed the thing we were creating together.

And it’s a struggle!!!

But I’m posting this as a reminder for myself. My brain is in survival mode maybe, but my friends care about me

It’s very scary, I’m not gonna lie. I just wrapped up a big group activity I’d organized, and I’m fighting NOT to overthink every moment and NOT to be convinced that all the people who showed up, helped me put it together, who thanked me for planning and said they had fun… were just being polite

And I know this was never really their intention, but my god is it wild to look back on it all in hindsight and recognize the changes in myself. and to compare that with the groups I’m a part of now. to see myself starting to get comfortable with “shining” again, unabashedly grabbing the spotlight

I got infinitely more afraid of expressing myself for fear of rejection. Small rejections like somebody heaving a playfully tired sigh when I try to share an anecdote or a story, but bigger ones too, like being left out of group plans. Left out of a group tattoo that I only learned of after the fact

— then I guess they felt like it was their job to keep me grounded? And so that was what they did. A lot. And over time I realize that I got less outgoing, and talked less, and I got infinitely more self-conscious. Especially about asking my friends for attention or validation in any form at all

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE 💖 and please feel free to DM me here or on Discord if you're interested in volunteering!

(planning a blood drive event and in-character he simply won't be able to do everything alone! not to mention - out of character, the turnout for my casual events so far has me thinking I may need one or two volunteers to give me a hand with some things, if I want to be able to host effectively!)

Lastly— if you can’t make this one or don’t have epsi, please don’t fret too much about missing it! I’ll be hosting more of these soon, in both epsi and retail!

(With that said, I’m learning these events can be unpredictable— so while faction loyalists won’t be welcome, other forms of in-character conflict may still arise 😂 and I cannot guarantee a 100% chill vibe the whole time…. but that’s just part of the fun 🥰)

This will be a faction-neutral gathering, hosted on the grounds of the Honeyhearth Meadery, so please no faction loyalist types from either side 💖

Vykas 🥺💖

I just want to see them having a GOOD time!!

Meanwhile…. I still love how this is coming along!

Agzi!!! It was such a pleasure to have you there, thank you again for coming out! 🥰

Bonus shot: 🤔 is it really an Eversong party without at least three Blond Twinks in Fancy Shirts?