Don’t do it! They’ll eat you alive! *crab mentality*

Barthes once pointed out that it was important to cast British character actors as ancient Romans because the "correct" lineage of imperium is Roman ---> Charlemagne ---> Britain ---> American. But also that we're never allowed to have a Charlemagne movie.

- It's a real pinata/potluck of pseudo-Roman pastiche. I'm really not sure why there are gouts of explosive flame in a battle.
- Also the historical Maximus had a twin brother, that was only interesting thing about him. Could've come up.
- Joaquin Phoenix is weirdly chubby in this movie.

"Pwease talk to me wike a widdle baby!"

This is the only correct approach to take with dorks.

It's always that magical 33%, isn't it?

oh god my eyes rolled so hard they're stuck that way

They all knew, they've always known, they always had no plan for it. Just terror from top to bottom, abuse of those they could abuse while they abuse them, and the hope that maybe something somewhere would pay off and kill us quickly. Pandemic, war, starvation, whatever.

I have deep, deep opinions on Queen Anne cherries. My family has made them our thing since the early 80s, probably earlier. I utterly execrate those fools at Cello's, and I even reject my local favorite, Chukka Cherries. I'm kind of a Queen Anne cherry weirdo.