The muppety one
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muppetk.bsky.social
The muppety one
@muppetk.bsky.social
380 followers 150 following 9.5K posts
So muppety. So tired. Alleged adult. Disaster Muppet. Big nerd.

Cw: food for the entire account because I am stress baking like whoa for the next few years.

(Queer acupuncturist. Pro vax. V lefty. Long Covid sucks four assed monkey butt.)
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muppetk.bsky.social
APROPOS OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING 👀

A friend went IT YOU with this gif today 🤣
A picture of a happy raccoon with a crowbar . Text: some people have guardian angels. I have a raccoon with a crowbar whispering… “Let’s make it worse.”
August 27, 2025 at 1:35 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
SO many! (You too?)

(Here’s one literally within my line of sight. I cannot resist this genre of silk while traveling)
Washed silk scarf dyed in semi random lines (not quite tie die but not far from it) of teal and indigo
August 6, 2025 at 12:21 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
Remember back in twitter sometimes after 10 minutes you’d feel awful and swear to yourself you need to spend less time on Twitter?

Well, I just went to Tumblr for the first time in ages. And after five minutes, I’m like “damn, I need to do this more often!“

Exhibit A
Post from bisexual gender femme: puppeteers are just mobility aids for muppets tbh
June 26, 2025 at 7:06 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
I am 99% sure that suffient garlic added to a baked potato soup would basically become a really nice garlic soup.

I am 100% sure I will not try it until it cools off.

But look. A FLIPPING GALLON OF GARLIC.
White bucket containing a GALLON of dried minced garlic.
June 26, 2025 at 1:31 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
Genuinely good gluten free product alert: GoNanas Fudge Brownie Banana Bread mix. No weird textures or flavors, probably because the flour used is oat flour. My only complaint is that the banana flavor is pretty mild but the rest of the flavor and the texture are great. Recommended!
Two packages of GoNanas fudge brownie banana bread mix pic yanked directly from the rainforest site.
May 27, 2025 at 6:49 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
Here, have sepia pics with overhead glare
Small orange kitten poking his head out from underneath similarly colored sheets and a patterned blanket Two orange kittens on a blue-grey and white patterned something. Blanket maybe?
May 1, 2025 at 11:50 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
OKAY SO

SOMEONE SENT ME THIS AND I LAAAAAUGHED
A social media post with 3 images labeled: Fuck, marry, kill Fuck: a white couch Marry: a brunette in a blue shirt who I’ve been informed is JD Vance’s wife Kill: the pope
April 22, 2025 at 9:32 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
Look

Y’all

These are HUGE

I did not realize how huge

WHEN YOU ARE USING A 5 POUND BAG OF FLOUR FOR SCALE INSTEAD OF A BANANA, SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG
A jar of Naked Casein protein powder next to a 5 lb bag of flour for scale. THE DAMN THING IS BIGGER THAN THE FLOUR.
April 16, 2025 at 11:31 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
Ah social media. For when you’ve been gifted with the perfect meme for someone(s) and you can’t for anything remember who. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Related, this post
Post by WritesOfNovember “You look tired” yeah well the enemies didn’t become lovers until 2am greg
February 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
I keep thinking I don’t have an ounce of American feeling left and then friends show me Paul Hollywood memes and I’m like DAMMIT I AM IN THIS PICTURE
Post from Rock Paper Scissors me: I feel no special attachment to my american identity paul hollywood: you see, it's essential to carefully apply the blowtorch around the edges of the s'more-obviously we don't want a gooey mess me: I must throw him into the boston harbor
February 22, 2025 at 2:28 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
@previewd.bsky.social I just ran across the funniest bug in my YouTube app watching your latest Bluey reaction.

I’m pretty sure the chapter title is from one of the million bread making vids I’ve watched, not something you did? But. Hilarious.
Pause hit on Jay and Adam with a chapter title showing at 12:57/34:55, “No Knead Over Night Crusty Loaf”
February 17, 2025 at 9:45 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
I came out tasty, but lackluster looking. I’ve been absurdly cranky about having made a notoriously fancy cake that looked like meh.

Pictured here, and note how boring this looks.
A white cake with occasional slices of peach
February 9, 2025 at 12:33 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
Okay I think this should tag both of you who asked?

You’ll note that the ones I wrote are verbose AF but YOULL LEARN STUFF whereas the one from my friend looks like it was written by a sane person.
Potato bread Potato Bread Recipe for the Bread Machine 1 1/2 cups warm milk 4 TBSPS of soft butter (I nuke it 30-60 seconds to get a partial melt) ½ cup potato flakes (30 g) 3 ½ grams cups of all-purpose flour (420 g) 2 TBSPS sugar 1 ¼ tsps. salt 1 ½ tsps. Quick rise yeast Add in whatever order your machine like. Mine likes it to go in this order: Liquids Salt, sugar Fat Flour and add ins Yeast Settings: Size: 1.5lbs Color: I like light but do as you will Just cook on regular cycle I got fancy once and did this on the dough cycle, dumped it out on my (lightly floured) cutting board, divided it into 8 pieces, rounded them into rolls, and put them in a Dutch oven. Baked 375° for 40 min. Worked great and not actually a lot of trouble. I’ll be doing that a lot more often. It keeps better (stays fresher) in rolls than in a loaf that gets cut into. Rich Bread machine recipe My current favorite, loosely based king Arthur’s English muffin bread, rich like brioche but tang like English muffin Add to machine in this order 1/4c boiled water 1 tsp cider vinegar 1c milk 1/2 TBSP sugar 1/2 TBSP salt 4 TBSP (1/2 stick) mostly melted butter (stick in microwave 30-60s) 420g (3&1/2cup) flour (all purpose) 1/2 TBSP yeast Machine settings: 1.5lb loaf, light color After 5 min, look at dough ball and adjust water and flour if needed, then restart machine, check again in 5 min. Key to determining if too wet or too dry: you want it to be vaguely tacky but not STICKY. if Sticky (leaves batter on your finger when you poke it) or kind of sticks like batter on the bottom of the machine = too wet, add a spoonful of flour and start the cycle over. If not sticky at all or the ball has a mini ball circling along side it, it’s too dry. Add a tbsp of water and start the cycle over. BONUS TECHNIQUE: Half way through the final rise (About 1.5 hours after starting on my machine, you can check your manual to figure out when to do it on yours) carefully pull the dough to the side and reach under the dough to pull out the paddle and minimize bottom hole. It will look like it completely deflates. Don’t worry, it’ll come back. After machine is done, pull out basket with POTHOLDER and turn out bread onto a rack for cooling. Let cool at least 20 min before slicing. Bread Machine Cinnamon Raisin Bread, sent from a friend Size 2 Lb. Loaf (I set my mine to 1.5 and it worked fine) Ingredients: • 1 cup water • 2 tablespoons butter • 3 cups bread flour (I used 360 g regular AP flour) • 3 tablespoons sugar • 1 ½/ teaspoons salt • 2 teaspoons cinnamon • 2 ½ teaspoons bread machine yeast (I used 1.5 by mistake and liked it that way) • 1 cup raisins (I soak raisins before making the bread.) Directions: 1. Place ingredients into the bread machine in order listed. Original recipe calls for raisins to be added when the bread machine beeps to add ingredients, but raisins just end up on outside, not in bread, so I add at the beginning. 2. Program bread machine using the "sweet" bread setting 3. When baking is complete, remove from pan and place on cooling rack. Let cool for 2-3 hours.
February 6, 2025 at 2:47 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
And now, for the pics or it didn’t happen crowd
A square loaf of bread with darker sides and a few berries and a crack showing in the top. Don’t be fooled, it only looks like it’s whole wheat. That’s all the cinnamon making it that color.
February 6, 2025 at 2:14 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
SEE. ENJOY THE OBNOXIOUS BOOB LIGHT. AND WONDER WHY THESE WERE EVER IN FASHION.
An extremely tit shaped light. Clear dome, brass ring around the edge, And brass nipple-y center. Clearly in a room that is very cold.
January 22, 2025 at 10:24 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
All of which is to say, it was only just now, when sibling did the replacement for me, that I realized I’d accidentally gotten headphones in Vassar’s colors, silver and burgundy. IT WAS DEFINITELY NOT ON PURPOSE.
Silver over ear headphones with very burgundy colored ear pieces on a light blue background.
January 14, 2025 at 3:39 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
Oh hey. I have done the feelings dump and must pay the cute tax. Please enjoy this smol doggo who I saw on the subway on my way to the funeral.
Small tan dog whose face is the only thing peeking out of a large black bag. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
January 8, 2025 at 7:22 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
Happy new year! It’s an hour early in this time zone but I’ve been listening to fireworks for hours now, so I feel I can safely post this.
Battered and rusted green high way marker sign with the word LANG written on it. Aka, Old Lang Sign.
January 1, 2025 at 4:07 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
Content scraping is against the TOS, right?

Too bad this one first whole cloth scraped from a friend (picture AND caption, and motherfucker I KNOW that dog) and then followed me. Reported and blocked.

YOU DO NOT BLATANTLY STEAL FROM MY FRIENDS. ITS NOT THAT HARD TO JUST REPOST INSTEAD. 😡
Account page of @corgilovers.bsky.social, blocked
December 17, 2024 at 1:13 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
holy cow 10¢ off a $6.85 item does not qualify as “on sale”. 10¢ off anything over a dollar does not qualify.

I understand that items fluctuate in price from week to week. But listing those items in the ON SALE tab is actively offensive.

And it’s not just the one thing. (But heres the thing)
A pound of ground lamb, listed for $6.75, with $6.85 crossed out. It even says “1% off.”
December 16, 2024 at 12:57 AM
muppetk.bsky.social
Cw: food

Well. My sister says I won. I say I haven’t won until we’ve proven that it’s edible. But. It looks like food?
A roast turkey in a metal foil pan inside a cookie sheet because I am paranoid. The Turkey looks a little funny because it’s upsidedown. Because apparently that’s how you keep the breast meat from drying out?
November 27, 2024 at 11:51 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
Personally, I tend to you with “I hope you have a low drama holiday!” It covers a LOT of mileage.

… but I really really like the last couple on this list!
A post from existentialmemes. As we descend into The Holiday Season, please remember that it actually is offensive to wish somebody "Happy Holidays" right now. Because just look around, no one is happy. Try these Dystopia Approved alternatives instead: • Incipient Holidays! • May your Forced Social Obligations be brief! • Tolerable Holidays! • I hope your work schedule is merciful! • Season's Shriekings! • Caffeine and Comfort to you and yours!
November 20, 2024 at 11:40 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
DAS FLOOFINATOR!! *cough* I may have mentioned a couple times how much I love your Merlin in the other places.

I do not currently have a pet, but this sweetie said hi to me on the subway yesterday
A small tan curly haired dog with floppy ears in a small black doggie sweater. Slightly obscured by my knee.
November 19, 2024 at 7:30 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ELECTRONICS? DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE INSANE PLUG THAT IS MY DEDICATED OUTLET AND I CANNOT FIND ANYTHING FOR?

*deep sigh* I’ve emailed an electrician, I’m not expecting you to fix it, just whining.
A really scratched up WEIRD LOOKING PLUG. it’s got a flattened circle hole on top, a flat hole on the left, and a T shape on the right.
November 17, 2024 at 11:22 PM
muppetk.bsky.social
I just used resistbot to send this letter. Thank you Courtney, for your excellent suggestion.

I didn’t publish it just for people to co-sign because mine is clearly personal. But please feel free to lift as much or as little language as you like.
I am sorry and distraught to have to ask this, but please, please do not confirm RFK to any cabinet position. The state of public health is already fraught in our country and his positions on vaccines alone, let alone other issues, are horrifying. We just went through one pandemic. The last thing we need is another one that could be so easily prevented. As a healthcare practitioner and as a long covid survivor, I am begging you. Do not let this walking public health disaster into power. I don't want to see polio and measles come back. Ideally, maybe have a quiet word with your Republican colleagues about this too? Didn't enough people die four years ago?
November 8, 2024 at 5:31 PM