i gave my whole family a plate of these "redberries" and it's been an absolute fucking disaster. chowder is still in critical condition, i only got out of the hospital yesterday and i've been speaking to a lawyer for the past eight hours. my life is fucking over.
i invented a new berry that is blue but idk what to call it.
June 23, 2025 at 2:07 AM
i gave my whole family a plate of these "redberries" and it's been an absolute fucking disaster. chowder is still in critical condition, i only got out of the hospital yesterday and i've been speaking to a lawyer for the past eight hours. my life is fucking over.
i invented a new berry that is blue but idk what to call it.
May 26, 2025 at 5:46 AM
i invented a new berry that is blue but idk what to call it.
i would never put a fly in a customer's soup. the "warnings" that are circulating about my restaurant are just plain false. that old lady dying is a genuine tragedy but there's no need to be reactionary about it just because her last meal was prepared by me.
May 23, 2025 at 9:40 PM
i would never put a fly in a customer's soup. the "warnings" that are circulating about my restaurant are just plain false. that old lady dying is a genuine tragedy but there's no need to be reactionary about it just because her last meal was prepared by me.
i hung out with gazpacho the other day and he kept talking about his “puppygirl gf” like it was something to brag about. i said that dating a dog isnt something to be proud of and he called me a “swagless boomer.” son, i have more swagger in my left pinkie toe than you have in your entire body
May 19, 2025 at 5:39 AM
i hung out with gazpacho the other day and he kept talking about his “puppygirl gf” like it was something to brag about. i said that dating a dog isnt something to be proud of and he called me a “swagless boomer.” son, i have more swagger in my left pinkie toe than you have in your entire body
if you live nearby please keep an eye out for shnitzel and call mung daal’s catering if you spot him. he ate one of my talking glueberries and i havent seen him since. they are not edible, i actually use them as rat poison, but he is made of stone so at worst he should be delirious instead of dead
May 14, 2025 at 4:10 AM
if you live nearby please keep an eye out for shnitzel and call mung daal’s catering if you spot him. he ate one of my talking glueberries and i havent seen him since. they are not edible, i actually use them as rat poison, but he is made of stone so at worst he should be delirious instead of dead
check out my website for my new recipe!
May 9, 2025 at 6:05 PM
check out my website for my new recipe!
check out my website for my new recipe!
May 9, 2025 at 4:30 AM
check out my website for my new recipe!
i just realized "fuul" would sound like "fool" and i take it back. Kung Daal? No. Nevermind. Just forget it.
tbh they should be calling me Kung Fuul because i am a master of jujitsu and karate and other ancient chinese martial arts
May 8, 2025 at 3:08 AM
i just realized "fuul" would sound like "fool" and i take it back. Kung Daal? No. Nevermind. Just forget it.
tbh they should be calling me Kung Fuul because i am a master of jujitsu and karate and other ancient chinese martial arts
May 7, 2025 at 10:44 PM
tbh they should be calling me Kung Fuul because i am a master of jujitsu and karate and other ancient chinese martial arts
shnitzel just called me “cuck daal.” not even clever. just crass and hurtful, really. perhaps i was too harsh on chowder . “bung haal” at least took some ingenuity.
chowder just called me “bung haal”. he’s just a kid so i dont blame him for not understanding that words can be like daggers when used improperly. he can sulk in his room and consider my feelings but i dont think he’ll truly understand what he has done today until he is in his wiser years.
May 5, 2025 at 8:42 PM
shnitzel just called me “cuck daal.” not even clever. just crass and hurtful, really. perhaps i was too harsh on chowder . “bung haal” at least took some ingenuity.
chowder just called me “bung haal”. he’s just a kid so i dont blame him for not understanding that words can be like daggers when used improperly. he can sulk in his room and consider my feelings but i dont think he’ll truly understand what he has done today until he is in his wiser years.
May 4, 2025 at 3:01 AM
chowder just called me “bung haal”. he’s just a kid so i dont blame him for not understanding that words can be like daggers when used improperly. he can sulk in his room and consider my feelings but i dont think he’ll truly understand what he has done today until he is in his wiser years.
btw im calling the species “cognizapples.” theyre actually more like a type of berry but i didnt like “selfawerries” as much
is there a test like the “turing test” but for fruit that has been selectively bred to have self-awareness? because i think my newest harvest possesses an extreme degree of consciousness. i need a test to help me determine whether or not eating these things is still ethical
May 2, 2025 at 5:45 AM
btw im calling the species “cognizapples.” theyre actually more like a type of berry but i didnt like “selfawerries” as much
is there a test like the “turing test” but for fruit that has been selectively bred to have self-awareness? because i think my newest harvest possesses an extreme degree of consciousness. i need a test to help me determine whether or not eating these things is still ethical
May 2, 2025 at 5:41 AM
is there a test like the “turing test” but for fruit that has been selectively bred to have self-awareness? because i think my newest harvest possesses an extreme degree of consciousness. i need a test to help me determine whether or not eating these things is still ethical
chowder . we have to cook. yeaaahhh like in breaking bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! (puts on the cool hat and sunglasses) i... am heisenberg. i am the danger!! LOL
May 1, 2025 at 3:22 AM
chowder . we have to cook. yeaaahhh like in breaking bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! (puts on the cool hat and sunglasses) i... am heisenberg. i am the danger!! LOL
today i asked chowder why he smelled like spoiled nurples and he said it was “an alpha male thing.” i asked where he learned that and he said gazpacho taught him. “what else did gazpacho teach you,” i ask. and he tells me—i kid you not—he tells me that gazpacho said showering is “cuck behavior.”
April 30, 2025 at 5:39 AM
today i asked chowder why he smelled like spoiled nurples and he said it was “an alpha male thing.” i asked where he learned that and he said gazpacho taught him. “what else did gazpacho teach you,” i ask. and he tells me—i kid you not—he tells me that gazpacho said showering is “cuck behavior.”
foie gras has passed
April 27, 2025 at 7:32 AM
foie gras has passed
someone in my DMs said to download a mantis shrimp filter. What the heck is this. did endive do this???? why is she targeting my mantis shrimp customers?????
April 25, 2025 at 12:02 AM
someone in my DMs said to download a mantis shrimp filter. What the heck is this. did endive do this???? why is she targeting my mantis shrimp customers?????
a mantis shrimp just walked in, took one look at this thing and left. wtf?
that pink girl keeps coming into my restaurant with a stack of papers like this and asking if she can hang them up. i always say no but this time she said she saved two dollups to get one printed in color and laminated at the library. how could i say no to that.
April 24, 2025 at 9:10 PM
a mantis shrimp just walked in, took one look at this thing and left. wtf?
that pink girl keeps coming into my restaurant with a stack of papers like this and asking if she can hang them up. i always say no but this time she said she saved two dollups to get one printed in color and laminated at the library. how could i say no to that.
April 24, 2025 at 8:36 PM
that pink girl keeps coming into my restaurant with a stack of papers like this and asking if she can hang them up. i always say no but this time she said she saved two dollups to get one printed in color and laminated at the library. how could i say no to that.
thanks to whoever sent this post to truffles. thanks a lot. i actually LOVE sleeping in the living room so i'm not even mad!!
why yes i'm in an open relationship. I open my wallet and my Wife takes from it!!! #lol
April 24, 2025 at 3:16 AM
thanks to whoever sent this post to truffles. thanks a lot. i actually LOVE sleeping in the living room so i'm not even mad!!
theyre doing this to me tomorrow
April 23, 2025 at 9:48 PM
theyre doing this to me tomorrow
chowder you need to stop calling yourself an "epic chungus." i don't know what it means but it feels like you shouldn't be saying it
April 23, 2025 at 7:02 PM
chowder you need to stop calling yourself an "epic chungus." i don't know what it means but it feels like you shouldn't be saying it