Callum Bran (I’M STRAIGHT)
@mourningraven.bsky.social
A Bran with a plan
I don’t usually look like this. I am straight.
[Pfp drawn by https://bsky.app/profile/jesterday.bsky.social ]
[oc/parody/rp]
I don’t usually look like this. I am straight.
[Pfp drawn by https://bsky.app/profile/jesterday.bsky.social ]
[oc/parody/rp]
Really. That.
Whatever.
[He holds out his hand expectantly]
I don’t need a lemon slice. That just makes it 🚬gier. But I can certainly handle it.
Whatever.
[He holds out his hand expectantly]
I don’t need a lemon slice. That just makes it 🚬gier. But I can certainly handle it.
November 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Really. That.
Whatever.
[He holds out his hand expectantly]
I don’t need a lemon slice. That just makes it 🚬gier. But I can certainly handle it.
Whatever.
[He holds out his hand expectantly]
I don’t need a lemon slice. That just makes it 🚬gier. But I can certainly handle it.
What are you fucking talking about? It’s never been called Atlamillia! It’s Earth! London is in England! Are you mad?
…How would it happen. How would you die.
You type it or say it or…something.
…How would it happen. How would you die.
You type it or say it or…something.
November 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
What are you fucking talking about? It’s never been called Atlamillia! It’s Earth! London is in England! Are you mad?
…How would it happen. How would you die.
You type it or say it or…something.
…How would it happen. How would you die.
You type it or say it or…something.
[A growl]
You’re hardly a friend. Stop kidding yourself. I’m just a little jester, aren’t I.
What the hell are you doing? Hurry up.
You’re hardly a friend. Stop kidding yourself. I’m just a little jester, aren’t I.
What the hell are you doing? Hurry up.
November 27, 2025 at 12:28 AM
[A growl]
You’re hardly a friend. Stop kidding yourself. I’m just a little jester, aren’t I.
What the hell are you doing? Hurry up.
You’re hardly a friend. Stop kidding yourself. I’m just a little jester, aren’t I.
What the hell are you doing? Hurry up.
What the fuck do you call it? I’m perfectly sane! And I’m clearly in the past for you!
Oh, laughing is hardly a fun way to die. I know much better ways that are more entertaining.
…Don’t mention that.
Oh, laughing is hardly a fun way to die. I know much better ways that are more entertaining.
…Don’t mention that.
November 27, 2025 at 12:25 AM
What the fuck do you call it? I’m perfectly sane! And I’m clearly in the past for you!
Oh, laughing is hardly a fun way to die. I know much better ways that are more entertaining.
…Don’t mention that.
Oh, laughing is hardly a fun way to die. I know much better ways that are more entertaining.
…Don’t mention that.
And don’t. Cal me that.
November 27, 2025 at 12:21 AM
And don’t. Cal me that.
Earlier you said I had no friends. Make up your mind.
And I bet you won’t even get to see me like that cause you’ll be off going and making a fool of yourself.
And I bet you won’t even get to see me like that cause you’ll be off going and making a fool of yourself.
November 27, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Earlier you said I had no friends. Make up your mind.
And I bet you won’t even get to see me like that cause you’ll be off going and making a fool of yourself.
And I bet you won’t even get to see me like that cause you’ll be off going and making a fool of yourself.
You were far too happy. I figured you had to be up to something. Excuse me for actually being careful.
November 27, 2025 at 12:15 AM
You were far too happy. I figured you had to be up to something. Excuse me for actually being careful.
Earth, dumbass! London! And everything used to be normal until some curses started showing up. And if anyone isn’t human, it’s because of the curses.
Only 🏳️🌈s care for it daily.
Only 🏳️🌈s care for it daily.
November 27, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Earth, dumbass! London! And everything used to be normal until some curses started showing up. And if anyone isn’t human, it’s because of the curses.
Only 🏳️🌈s care for it daily.
Only 🏳️🌈s care for it daily.
[He raises an eyebrow]
If you spike that shit I’ll kill you.
If you spike that shit I’ll kill you.
November 27, 2025 at 12:09 AM
[He raises an eyebrow]
If you spike that shit I’ll kill you.
If you spike that shit I’ll kill you.
Oh, so your world is completely full of freaks. I see. We’ve just got humans here. Actually.
Every two weeks. Why does it matter.
Every two weeks. Why does it matter.
November 27, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Oh, so your world is completely full of freaks. I see. We’ve just got humans here. Actually.
Every two weeks. Why does it matter.
Every two weeks. Why does it matter.
I don’t fucking know. Just do whatever. Give yourself the same thing so I can see you absolutely wasted.
November 27, 2025 at 12:01 AM
I don’t fucking know. Just do whatever. Give yourself the same thing so I can see you absolutely wasted.
You think they teach about freaks like you in school? Bitch.
And I was explaining why I don’t have a hair tie. I’m not gay, so that’s why I don’t use one. It’s that simple.
And I was explaining why I don’t have a hair tie. I’m not gay, so that’s why I don’t use one. It’s that simple.
November 26, 2025 at 11:46 PM
You think they teach about freaks like you in school? Bitch.
And I was explaining why I don’t have a hair tie. I’m not gay, so that’s why I don’t use one. It’s that simple.
And I was explaining why I don’t have a hair tie. I’m not gay, so that’s why I don’t use one. It’s that simple.
Oh, shut the fuck up. Why do I need to have fun like that. I have much better ways to entertain myself. There’s really not much of a reason to talk to someone about the weather or shit.
November 26, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Oh, shut the fuck up. Why do I need to have fun like that. I have much better ways to entertain myself. There’s really not much of a reason to talk to someone about the weather or shit.
Of course. Only 🏳️🌈s concern themselves with actually making shit like that. Case in point.
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Of course. Only 🏳️🌈s concern themselves with actually making shit like that. Case in point.
No, what are you—
I don’t concern myself with what they do at parties because I don’t usually go. I’m too busy with business. I usually drink on my own. Stop pretending I’m senile.
I don’t concern myself with what they do at parties because I don’t usually go. I’m too busy with business. I usually drink on my own. Stop pretending I’m senile.
November 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
No, what are you—
I don’t concern myself with what they do at parties because I don’t usually go. I’m too busy with business. I usually drink on my own. Stop pretending I’m senile.
I don’t concern myself with what they do at parties because I don’t usually go. I’m too busy with business. I usually drink on my own. Stop pretending I’m senile.
[He frowns, and crosses his arms as he raises his voice]
I don’t concern myself with whatever they do at parties. Just one is enough.
I don’t concern myself with whatever they do at parties. Just one is enough.
November 26, 2025 at 9:52 PM
[He frowns, and crosses his arms as he raises his voice]
I don’t concern myself with whatever they do at parties. Just one is enough.
I don’t concern myself with whatever they do at parties. Just one is enough.
What are you, anyway? Other than an asshole.
How else am I supposed to talk to you? I’m not trying to talk at walls! And only gay men take care of their hair.
How else am I supposed to talk to you? I’m not trying to talk at walls! And only gay men take care of their hair.
November 26, 2025 at 9:47 PM
What are you, anyway? Other than an asshole.
How else am I supposed to talk to you? I’m not trying to talk at walls! And only gay men take care of their hair.
How else am I supposed to talk to you? I’m not trying to talk at walls! And only gay men take care of their hair.
I don’t need any of that shit, as a straight man. But if you must.
[He makes a little shooing motion]
[He makes a little shooing motion]
November 26, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I don’t need any of that shit, as a straight man. But if you must.
[He makes a little shooing motion]
[He makes a little shooing motion]
It’s obvious. Why else would this body smell like this.
[He rounds the corner, carrying several bottles of wine and vodka]
[He rounds the corner, carrying several bottles of wine and vodka]
November 24, 2025 at 12:38 PM
It’s obvious. Why else would this body smell like this.
[He rounds the corner, carrying several bottles of wine and vodka]
[He rounds the corner, carrying several bottles of wine and vodka]
So my point still holds that you’re a bitch. Gay men are also clean because of their gayness and I’m dirty which means I’m straight.
You can also handle bodies but not dust. Which implies some freakiness.
You can also handle bodies but not dust. Which implies some freakiness.
November 24, 2025 at 12:34 PM
So my point still holds that you’re a bitch. Gay men are also clean because of their gayness and I’m dirty which means I’m straight.
You can also handle bodies but not dust. Which implies some freakiness.
You can also handle bodies but not dust. Which implies some freakiness.
….Of fucking course. Of course. Why are there so many fucking freaks. Old enough to be your father my ass.
I’m not naïve at all. Believe it or not, 210 year olds aren’t very common here.
And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I walk perfectly fine.
I’m not naïve at all. Believe it or not, 210 year olds aren’t very common here.
And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I walk perfectly fine.
November 24, 2025 at 12:29 PM
….Of fucking course. Of course. Why are there so many fucking freaks. Old enough to be your father my ass.
I’m not naïve at all. Believe it or not, 210 year olds aren’t very common here.
And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I walk perfectly fine.
I’m not naïve at all. Believe it or not, 210 year olds aren’t very common here.
And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I walk perfectly fine.
I don’t ever remember anything like that. If there is such a thing, I certainly don’t have access to anything like it.
And you call me a grandfather while you’re…what, 54 at least? That’s older than I am.
And I’m not a maniac. Really.
And you call me a grandfather while you’re…what, 54 at least? That’s older than I am.
And I’m not a maniac. Really.
November 24, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I don’t ever remember anything like that. If there is such a thing, I certainly don’t have access to anything like it.
And you call me a grandfather while you’re…what, 54 at least? That’s older than I am.
And I’m not a maniac. Really.
And you call me a grandfather while you’re…what, 54 at least? That’s older than I am.
And I’m not a maniac. Really.
…It’s 1963.
And I can clearly hear you. Can you even see what I look like?
And I can clearly hear you. Can you even see what I look like?
November 24, 2025 at 1:13 AM
…It’s 1963.
And I can clearly hear you. Can you even see what I look like?
And I can clearly hear you. Can you even see what I look like?
….Jesus Christ. I’ve met people from a decade or two ago but not a completely different century. What the fuck.
Clearly you’re making some noise! It has to be whatever technology you have!
Clearly you’re making some noise! It has to be whatever technology you have!
November 24, 2025 at 12:59 AM
….Jesus Christ. I’ve met people from a decade or two ago but not a completely different century. What the fuck.
Clearly you’re making some noise! It has to be whatever technology you have!
Clearly you’re making some noise! It has to be whatever technology you have!
[There’s a shout from the other room]
You can‘t even handle a bit of dust. Who’s the bitch now.
You can‘t even handle a bit of dust. Who’s the bitch now.
November 24, 2025 at 12:13 AM
[There’s a shout from the other room]
You can‘t even handle a bit of dust. Who’s the bitch now.
You can‘t even handle a bit of dust. Who’s the bitch now.