Says the bitch who drinks cocktails. That’s like the 🚬giest drink.
(She hands him the martini then knocks her own back)
That’s two shots, so maybe you should take it slower if you only ever have one drink. I’ll make us more whenever you’re done.
(She hands him the martini then knocks her own back)
That’s two shots, so maybe you should take it slower if you only ever have one drink. I’ll make us more whenever you’re done.
November 27, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Says the bitch who drinks cocktails. That’s like the 🚬giest drink.
(She hands him the martini then knocks her own back)
That’s two shots, so maybe you should take it slower if you only ever have one drink. I’ll make us more whenever you’re done.
(She hands him the martini then knocks her own back)
That’s two shots, so maybe you should take it slower if you only ever have one drink. I’ll make us more whenever you’re done.
I’m making you a martini, ungrateful bitch.
(She comes out with one martini in each hand)
Lemon drop. And because you’re impatient, you don’t get a fancy lemon slice.
Sorry if it’s too strong for your delicate unrefined tastes.
(She comes out with one martini in each hand)
Lemon drop. And because you’re impatient, you don’t get a fancy lemon slice.
Sorry if it’s too strong for your delicate unrefined tastes.
November 27, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I’m making you a martini, ungrateful bitch.
(She comes out with one martini in each hand)
Lemon drop. And because you’re impatient, you don’t get a fancy lemon slice.
Sorry if it’s too strong for your delicate unrefined tastes.
(She comes out with one martini in each hand)
Lemon drop. And because you’re impatient, you don’t get a fancy lemon slice.
Sorry if it’s too strong for your delicate unrefined tastes.
I’ll call you whatever I want, Callie-wally.
And I am your friend, but it doesn’t count. You still have no friends if I’m your only friend.
(There’s some vague rustling and rattling from the kitchen as the woman finds her way around)
And I am your friend, but it doesn’t count. You still have no friends if I’m your only friend.
(There’s some vague rustling and rattling from the kitchen as the woman finds her way around)
November 27, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I’ll call you whatever I want, Callie-wally.
And I am your friend, but it doesn’t count. You still have no friends if I’m your only friend.
(There’s some vague rustling and rattling from the kitchen as the woman finds her way around)
And I am your friend, but it doesn’t count. You still have no friends if I’m your only friend.
(There’s some vague rustling and rattling from the kitchen as the woman finds her way around)
Excuse me for my excitement at seeing you shit-faced. Friends like seeing friends drunk, Callie. It’s a right of passage.
November 27, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Excuse me for my excitement at seeing you shit-faced. Friends like seeing friends drunk, Callie. It’s a right of passage.
What would I even spike it with? More alcohol?
Or maybe I should open up my personal drug stash. Just for this purpose because you’re so worth it. Obviously.
Or maybe I should open up my personal drug stash. Just for this purpose because you’re so worth it. Obviously.
November 27, 2025 at 12:12 AM
What would I even spike it with? More alcohol?
Or maybe I should open up my personal drug stash. Just for this purpose because you’re so worth it. Obviously.
Or maybe I should open up my personal drug stash. Just for this purpose because you’re so worth it. Obviously.
You’re getting wasted first. I’ll bet.
(Magpie very gleefully disappears into the kitchen again, humming)
(Magpie very gleefully disappears into the kitchen again, humming)
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 AM
You’re getting wasted first. I’ll bet.
(Magpie very gleefully disappears into the kitchen again, humming)
(Magpie very gleefully disappears into the kitchen again, humming)
I’m going to mix you a martini so good that I’ll have to start taking you to AA meetings. Just you wait.
Do you like citrus, or should I use the fake cherry stuff?
(Magpie comes back in and takes one of the vodka bottles)
Do you like citrus, or should I use the fake cherry stuff?
(Magpie comes back in and takes one of the vodka bottles)
November 26, 2025 at 11:56 PM
I’m going to mix you a martini so good that I’ll have to start taking you to AA meetings. Just you wait.
Do you like citrus, or should I use the fake cherry stuff?
(Magpie comes back in and takes one of the vodka bottles)
Do you like citrus, or should I use the fake cherry stuff?
(Magpie comes back in and takes one of the vodka bottles)
Oh my god you drink fruity little store bought cocktails?
(She bursts out laughing)
Oh, you poor 🚬gy soul. You only drink alone because you have no friends and you exclusively drink one shitty cocktail. You’re so sad.
(She bursts out laughing)
Oh, you poor 🚬gy soul. You only drink alone because you have no friends and you exclusively drink one shitty cocktail. You’re so sad.
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Oh my god you drink fruity little store bought cocktails?
(She bursts out laughing)
Oh, you poor 🚬gy soul. You only drink alone because you have no friends and you exclusively drink one shitty cocktail. You’re so sad.
(She bursts out laughing)
Oh, you poor 🚬gy soul. You only drink alone because you have no friends and you exclusively drink one shitty cocktail. You’re so sad.
(She peeks back in)
What do you have if you’re not making your drinks? Do you buy premade cocktails or something?
What do you have if you’re not making your drinks? Do you buy premade cocktails or something?
November 26, 2025 at 10:01 PM
(She peeks back in)
What do you have if you’re not making your drinks? Do you buy premade cocktails or something?
What do you have if you’re not making your drinks? Do you buy premade cocktails or something?
Never drank all on your own?
November 26, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Never drank all on your own?
I’m going to get the fruitiest shit I can. ❤️❤️
(She blows him a kiss and heads to the kitchen, shouting back to him)
Do you even know anything about mixing drinks, by the way? Cause if you don’t then I’m gonna mix everything.
(She blows him a kiss and heads to the kitchen, shouting back to him)
Do you even know anything about mixing drinks, by the way? Cause if you don’t then I’m gonna mix everything.
November 26, 2025 at 9:48 PM
I’m going to get the fruitiest shit I can. ❤️❤️
(She blows him a kiss and heads to the kitchen, shouting back to him)
Do you even know anything about mixing drinks, by the way? Cause if you don’t then I’m gonna mix everything.
(She blows him a kiss and heads to the kitchen, shouting back to him)
Do you even know anything about mixing drinks, by the way? Cause if you don’t then I’m gonna mix everything.
🏳️🌈 cologne, obvi- yoooo!!
I’m gonna raid the fridge to see if we have any chasers for the vodka, unless you wanna drink it straight. Do you have a preference?
I’m gonna raid the fridge to see if we have any chasers for the vodka, unless you wanna drink it straight. Do you have a preference?
November 24, 2025 at 12:40 PM
🏳️🌈 cologne, obvi- yoooo!!
I’m gonna raid the fridge to see if we have any chasers for the vodka, unless you wanna drink it straight. Do you have a preference?
I’m gonna raid the fridge to see if we have any chasers for the vodka, unless you wanna drink it straight. Do you have a preference?
What the hell is even that logic.🏳️🌈s aren’t clean what.
November 24, 2025 at 12:35 PM
What the hell is even that logic.🏳️🌈s aren’t clean what.
You’re a man which means you’re automatically dirty and can therefore handle dust.
I’m a lady. There’s a difference.
I’m a lady. There’s a difference.
November 24, 2025 at 12:15 AM
You’re a man which means you’re automatically dirty and can therefore handle dust.
I’m a lady. There’s a difference.
I’m a lady. There’s a difference.
Don’t throw out your back, old man ❤️❤️❤️
November 23, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Don’t throw out your back, old man ❤️❤️❤️
I’ll let you sniff it out, dog boy. I don’t wanna touch any dusty ass cabinets so that’s all you.
November 23, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I’ll let you sniff it out, dog boy. I don’t wanna touch any dusty ass cabinets so that’s all you.
So get your tolerance up. Let’s go drinkingggggg I bet I can shotgun a beer faster than you.
November 23, 2025 at 10:17 PM
So get your tolerance up. Let’s go drinkingggggg I bet I can shotgun a beer faster than you.
One for the party, one for the road, baby!
November 23, 2025 at 10:15 PM
One for the party, one for the road, baby!
Eh, it runs in the family. If I end up becoming an alcoholic I’ll blame it on my genetics. Not my fault.
You’re not responsible, you’re a party pooper. Who only has one drink??
You’re not responsible, you’re a party pooper. Who only has one drink??
November 23, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Eh, it runs in the family. If I end up becoming an alcoholic I’ll blame it on my genetics. Not my fault.
You’re not responsible, you’re a party pooper. Who only has one drink??
You’re not responsible, you’re a party pooper. Who only has one drink??
I’m not the one that has to go to the doctor and get antibiotics, you stupid fuck.
And it’s not like I’m an alcoholic. You’re just a bitch.
And it’s not like I’m an alcoholic. You’re just a bitch.
November 23, 2025 at 10:12 PM
I’m not the one that has to go to the doctor and get antibiotics, you stupid fuck.
And it’s not like I’m an alcoholic. You’re just a bitch.
And it’s not like I’m an alcoholic. You’re just a bitch.
You usually just drink one glass? Ohhh so you’re a little bitch.
If I’m drinking I go for four or five glasses. And even then I’m not like blackout drunk or anything. You’ve really gotta up your tolerance, dude.
If I’m drinking I go for four or five glasses. And even then I’m not like blackout drunk or anything. You’ve really gotta up your tolerance, dude.
November 23, 2025 at 10:08 PM
You usually just drink one glass? Ohhh so you’re a little bitch.
If I’m drinking I go for four or five glasses. And even then I’m not like blackout drunk or anything. You’ve really gotta up your tolerance, dude.
If I’m drinking I go for four or five glasses. And even then I’m not like blackout drunk or anything. You’ve really gotta up your tolerance, dude.
Yooooooooo
Can you even handle your liquor? How much do you drink.
Can you even handle your liquor? How much do you drink.
November 23, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Yooooooooo
Can you even handle your liquor? How much do you drink.
Can you even handle your liquor? How much do you drink.
You’re so on. We’re both gonna drink and THEN we’ll see who’s the freak.
November 23, 2025 at 9:57 PM
You’re so on. We’re both gonna drink and THEN we’ll see who’s the freak.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean??? You seem like the type to sniff women. Creep.
And you’re so bad at this that you can’t tell when women are gay. I’m better than you.
And you’re so bad at this that you can’t tell when women are gay. I’m better than you.
November 23, 2025 at 9:53 PM
What the fuck is that supposed to mean??? You seem like the type to sniff women. Creep.
And you’re so bad at this that you can’t tell when women are gay. I’m better than you.
And you’re so bad at this that you can’t tell when women are gay. I’m better than you.
Don’t put words in my mouth, I didn’t mean literally
November 23, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Don’t put words in my mouth, I didn’t mean literally