Mommy Needs a Life
@mommyneedsalife.bsky.social
Mom of 3. Finder of things. Drinker of gin.
So now I can’t complain about wrinkles because “aging is a privilege”? Listen people, I can still be grateful to be alive AND hate that my face is starting to look like a scrotum.
March 1, 2025 at 2:12 PM
So now I can’t complain about wrinkles because “aging is a privilege”? Listen people, I can still be grateful to be alive AND hate that my face is starting to look like a scrotum.
The amount of times I open Instacart instead of Instagram and stare at it confused is embarrassing.
February 20, 2025 at 1:03 PM
The amount of times I open Instacart instead of Instagram and stare at it confused is embarrassing.
I approach my teen like I’d approach a wild animal: cautious, speak softly, no sudden movements, throw food at them and run
February 17, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I approach my teen like I’d approach a wild animal: cautious, speak softly, no sudden movements, throw food at them and run
Reposted by Mommy Needs a Life
I love this time of year because people will post something super dramatic and vague like “Nooooooo” and I can’t tell if it’s about football or *gestures outside window* all of this.
January 27, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I love this time of year because people will post something super dramatic and vague like “Nooooooo” and I can’t tell if it’s about football or *gestures outside window* all of this.
What’s next…ripping out handicap bathroom stalls?
January 24, 2025 at 8:35 PM
What’s next…ripping out handicap bathroom stalls?
Reposted by Mommy Needs a Life
Irrationally angry at Crock Pot recipes that want me to do something 5 hours into a 6 hour cook time. I specifically wanted a crock pot recipe so I would not have to do this shit.
January 23, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Irrationally angry at Crock Pot recipes that want me to do something 5 hours into a 6 hour cook time. I specifically wanted a crock pot recipe so I would not have to do this shit.
Reposted by Mommy Needs a Life
Whenever I start to feel anxious I immediately have another coffee and scroll through the worst news imaginable on my phone and omg it does not help at all
January 23, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Whenever I start to feel anxious I immediately have another coffee and scroll through the worst news imaginable on my phone and omg it does not help at all
Reposted by Mommy Needs a Life
it feels so unfair when a salad gives you an upset stomach. like c'mon it wasn't even that fun to eat
January 22, 2025 at 7:13 PM
it feels so unfair when a salad gives you an upset stomach. like c'mon it wasn't even that fun to eat
It’s going to be a long 4 years.
January 21, 2025 at 3:05 PM
It’s going to be a long 4 years.
Reposted by Mommy Needs a Life
Sorry, I've been on a plane. Are eggs cheap yet?
January 20, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Sorry, I've been on a plane. Are eggs cheap yet?
Everyone: we hate January, it’s freezing, we have no money, we’re fat
The worst person in the world: let’s make it dry too
The worst person in the world: let’s make it dry too
January 16, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Everyone: we hate January, it’s freezing, we have no money, we’re fat
The worst person in the world: let’s make it dry too
The worst person in the world: let’s make it dry too
Others: I run so I can eat pizza
Me: I just…eat pizza
Me: I just…eat pizza
January 15, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Others: I run so I can eat pizza
Me: I just…eat pizza
Me: I just…eat pizza
Shout out to all the parents after Christmas trying to make room for 3 billion new toys.
December 27, 2024 at 10:40 PM
Shout out to all the parents after Christmas trying to make room for 3 billion new toys.
Reposted by Mommy Needs a Life
Thought I’d be trendy and try one of these ‘alternative milks’.
I don’t know what a magnesia is, but it made my Cocoa Puffs taste horrible…
I don’t know what a magnesia is, but it made my Cocoa Puffs taste horrible…
December 12, 2024 at 5:09 PM
Thought I’d be trendy and try one of these ‘alternative milks’.
I don’t know what a magnesia is, but it made my Cocoa Puffs taste horrible…
I don’t know what a magnesia is, but it made my Cocoa Puffs taste horrible…
Tis the season where I eat and drink everything in sight and am then shocked and dismayed when my pants are too tight.
December 4, 2024 at 7:22 PM
Tis the season where I eat and drink everything in sight and am then shocked and dismayed when my pants are too tight.
I used to be young and fun, today I earned a top fan badge on the Meow Lovers page and I’m not mad about it.
November 30, 2024 at 3:45 PM
I used to be young and fun, today I earned a top fan badge on the Meow Lovers page and I’m not mad about it.
The best part of Thanksgiving is when we arrive home after eating for 5 hours straight and my kid asks what’s for dinner.
November 29, 2024 at 12:17 AM
The best part of Thanksgiving is when we arrive home after eating for 5 hours straight and my kid asks what’s for dinner.
I’m not aging like fine wine. I’m aging like milk that’s been left out in the sun and I’m doing what I can with that.
November 27, 2024 at 11:49 AM
I’m not aging like fine wine. I’m aging like milk that’s been left out in the sun and I’m doing what I can with that.
Me: I will do anything to not gain weight this holiday season
Friend: Limit your food intake, don’t drink alcohol, and exercise
Me: No, not like that
Friend: Limit your food intake, don’t drink alcohol, and exercise
Me: No, not like that
November 25, 2024 at 10:34 PM
Me: I will do anything to not gain weight this holiday season
Friend: Limit your food intake, don’t drink alcohol, and exercise
Me: No, not like that
Friend: Limit your food intake, don’t drink alcohol, and exercise
Me: No, not like that
“If one more person takes a roll of toilet paper and sets it on top of the empty roll I will no longer buy toilet paper and you can wipe with your hands.”
Me, being the fun chill mom I always wanted to be
Me, being the fun chill mom I always wanted to be
November 24, 2024 at 6:18 PM
“If one more person takes a roll of toilet paper and sets it on top of the empty roll I will no longer buy toilet paper and you can wipe with your hands.”
Me, being the fun chill mom I always wanted to be
Me, being the fun chill mom I always wanted to be