I also explained food gets scraped off the plates and cookware to the farm animals who are happy to take care of it.

Wait till she finds out she still has to clean the mess, just in a different state of matter.

Have not explained that part yet, best she enjoy blissful ignorance.

Buon fortuna :)

"Pick any direction that is away from anything you do not want wasps by, gather up the bad persimmons, and huck them yonder over there that way.

You live on acres of green bin. Let nature cook."

"The wasps are getting into the persimmons that are going bad on the persimmon tree by the house but I can't find the green bin to put them in to keep the wasps away."

I eventually stopped laughing.

"Honey, we own a farm. Let me introduce you to a useful concept my people invented call 'Yonder'."

The intercontinental conversations we are having recently are deliciously choice as I draw on my lived tribal knowledge passed down to me from family as the City Girl tries to adapt to farm life in rural Italy.

"Hey... Hey, guys... that answer you wanted?"

Imagine the look on the face of the engineer running our simulation when they read that and discover it still wasn't enough octets.

Tell him we all stand with him.

Here he is as I type this.

You would think he was dead. Just passed out cold in the doorway sleeping. That's how he likes to do it, just fall over wherever, doesn't matter. Fuck everybody that's not him.

Next two hours is going to be nothing but farts, leg kicks, and 50's ray-gun noises.

Oh, and before you chime in, "Shouldn't spray your cat, it's mean."

It doesn't work, he loves it. He thinks it's happy fun water time which I guess 'Maine' in 'Maine Coon' yeah, duh.

The most common thing yelled in this home is, "WHY ARE YOU WET?!"

God forbid if Seric was on the other side so he and I could play tennis with the poor victim.

True, seemed like I just moved around the same little suburban area in the Bay in the same 2br2ba apartment(s) and everything could be got to fairly quick by motorcycle or car.

Now those same places lease for three times our mortgage.

You and I know, in real life, enough of the same people that they can confirm in the flesh that they have seen me talk gun waving badge holding individuals down to the point that they either forget why they were even mad at us and are our new best friend... or get confused and simply walk away.

Oh, no. I'm being dead serious. It's illegal there, I do not break those kinds of laws. Some lines I just straight up do not cross. I do not have a criminal record in -this- country for a reason.

It is going to get really hard to wrap my mind around how close together everything is over there. We were having dinner at one of our favorite joints outside of town and heard some dudes speaking not-Italian and English, Belgian! Flew in to hang for the weekend, 40 Euro to Pescara round trip.

Yeah, I'm not that serious about it. I just like a bit before bed to relax and get the best sleep of my life. I never knew real sleep before the gummies.

It's illegal in Italy of course, so none of it goes with me and I'll have to give it up. No big deal. So I'm savoring it while I can as I complete my Digital Nomad Visa and shut down this house.

Maiden salvo from what was our home has been packed.

Tomorrow it fires over the ocean towards Italy like a near 100 pound mortar of housewares.

And Jesus Hopscotch Christ Crazy-Glued to my dashboard based on my feed today we could not be better with the timing.

Pure. Dumb. Luck.

Buon Fortuna.

I'm allergic to smoking the real thing, have taken gummies and tinctures for some time. Recently tried some of the magic vape stuff that the local has. It comes in a freaky looking cartridge that looks like every evil drug I've seen in every low-budget sci-fi movie ever. But, almost zero reaction.