Say what you want. 13 hours of tariffs were exactly the remedy world trade was looking for.

Speeding to the gardening store. Never been in such a rush to wait.

Doing my smart serve for the 4th time. Every answer I give I treat myself to a little “fuck you for making me do this again”

I don’t want to sound like a flat-earther but I didn’t see shit today.

I can’t believe nobody in the UFC uses Break Stuff by Limp Bizket as walk in music.

There is nothing I relate to less than Airbnb’s new podcast ads. No I don’t have a random properties just ready to rent while I’m away on my 5 day vacation once every 4 years.

Do airport drug dogs know that weed is legal now?

Red Green was really just a men’s podcast.

My girlfriend napping, out of nowhere she’s up asking me “when is Labour Day?I’m so tired just getting my bearings. “ She falls asleep 15 seconds later. I have given Labour Day a whole 50 seconds of thought total in my life. Was she dreaming of stat holidays?

The Hangover but you replace the baby with peanut butter pretzel bites. #carbs

The thing I like about learning is the feeling of total and complete self doubt.

Thinkin of thos MF eatin beans

My music taste is a country-dance pop right now and I can’t stand it. It’s lke when I finally caved and started saying lol unironically.

Need that Fast n Furious Ragnarök.