blank
@misterblank.bsky.social
i am drowning. there is no sign of land.
remember folks when your family says it’s time to go around the table and say what you’re thankful for it’s totally valid to burst out laughing.
November 25, 2025 at 6:34 PM
remember folks when your family says it’s time to go around the table and say what you’re thankful for it’s totally valid to burst out laughing.
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Imagine finding out immigrants aren’t the reason for everything that’s wrong with your life after all and you’re just a piece of shit
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Imagine finding out immigrants aren’t the reason for everything that’s wrong with your life after all and you’re just a piece of shit
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me: [at the theater, ringing a little bell for my butler, Chauncey, to bring me some popped corn]
bully: who's doing that
larger bully: hey that guy's got a fucking bell
me: [frantically ringing bell]
bully: who's doing that
larger bully: hey that guy's got a fucking bell
me: [frantically ringing bell]
October 29, 2024 at 3:52 AM
me: [at the theater, ringing a little bell for my butler, Chauncey, to bring me some popped corn]
bully: who's doing that
larger bully: hey that guy's got a fucking bell
me: [frantically ringing bell]
bully: who's doing that
larger bully: hey that guy's got a fucking bell
me: [frantically ringing bell]
this is actually the closest zohran can come to a frown.
November 22, 2025 at 2:58 PM
this is actually the closest zohran can come to a frown.
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The worst thing Pam Bondi can do in the Epstein case is move too quickly.
by Merrick Garland
by Merrick Garland
November 20, 2025 at 12:33 PM
The worst thing Pam Bondi can do in the Epstein case is move too quickly.
by Merrick Garland
by Merrick Garland
republicans frantically purchasing highlighters to keep track of which parts of the epstein files trump tells them not to believe.
November 16, 2025 at 7:47 PM
republicans frantically purchasing highlighters to keep track of which parts of the epstein files trump tells them not to believe.
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PAUL MCCARTNEY: she was just 17, you know what I mean
REPUBLICANS: make it 15 and then we can relate
REPUBLICANS: make it 15 and then we can relate
November 15, 2025 at 9:41 PM
PAUL MCCARTNEY: she was just 17, you know what I mean
REPUBLICANS: make it 15 and then we can relate
REPUBLICANS: make it 15 and then we can relate
trump once again brilliantly using his still undefeated legal tactic of “no shut up you are”
November 15, 2025 at 1:45 PM
trump once again brilliantly using his still undefeated legal tactic of “no shut up you are”
watching trump use the department of justice as his personal tool for propaganda and revenge and reminded for the one millionth time what a useless old asshole joe biden is. you had ONE FUCKING JOB.
November 14, 2025 at 11:25 PM
watching trump use the department of justice as his personal tool for propaganda and revenge and reminded for the one millionth time what a useless old asshole joe biden is. you had ONE FUCKING JOB.
i don’t think i’m ever gonna stop being surprised that that’s where bermuda is.
November 13, 2025 at 11:23 AM
i don’t think i’m ever gonna stop being surprised that that’s where bermuda is.
chuck schumer even LOOKS like he’s always actively folding.
November 12, 2025 at 11:04 AM
chuck schumer even LOOKS like he’s always actively folding.
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Getting pretty tired of applying the phrase “THEY CANNOT BE THIS STUPID” to members of the party that’s supposed to be fighting for us.
November 11, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Getting pretty tired of applying the phrase “THEY CANNOT BE THIS STUPID” to members of the party that’s supposed to be fighting for us.
me: [sitting on a straight flush]
senate democrats: [shoving pit boss out of the way and crashing into the table scattering chips everywhere] HE FOLDS.
senate democrats: [shoving pit boss out of the way and crashing into the table scattering chips everywhere] HE FOLDS.
November 10, 2025 at 6:31 PM
me: [sitting on a straight flush]
senate democrats: [shoving pit boss out of the way and crashing into the table scattering chips everywhere] HE FOLDS.
senate democrats: [shoving pit boss out of the way and crashing into the table scattering chips everywhere] HE FOLDS.
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DONALD TRUMP: [asleep, drooling on long red tie]
SENATE DEMOCRATS: fine, we give in
SENATE DEMOCRATS: fine, we give in
November 10, 2025 at 2:37 AM
DONALD TRUMP: [asleep, drooling on long red tie]
SENATE DEMOCRATS: fine, we give in
SENATE DEMOCRATS: fine, we give in
giuliani must be so relieved to be free from his luxurious lifestyle with no meaningful consequences and get back to a luxurious lifestyle with no consequences at all.
November 10, 2025 at 6:08 PM
giuliani must be so relieved to be free from his luxurious lifestyle with no meaningful consequences and get back to a luxurious lifestyle with no consequences at all.
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Chuck Schumer and Senate Democrats suppress the vote when they cave like this
November 10, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Chuck Schumer and Senate Democrats suppress the vote when they cave like this
don’t worry chuck schumer has a plan and that plan is to go back to his mansion and take a nap.
November 10, 2025 at 9:49 AM
don’t worry chuck schumer has a plan and that plan is to go back to his mansion and take a nap.
chuck schumer suddenly waking up and realizing it’s been a while since he capitulated
November 9, 2025 at 10:48 PM
chuck schumer suddenly waking up and realizing it’s been a while since he capitulated
everyone enjoy your last day of halloween. tomorrow everything will go back to being just regular terrifying.
October 31, 2025 at 9:04 AM
everyone enjoy your last day of halloween. tomorrow everything will go back to being just regular terrifying.
might actually be okay with trump wanting nuclear tests, given his documented inability to safely observe bright things.
October 30, 2025 at 9:47 AM
might actually be okay with trump wanting nuclear tests, given his documented inability to safely observe bright things.
me: [on deathbed] what the hell…is sorghum.
October 28, 2025 at 9:20 PM
me: [on deathbed] what the hell…is sorghum.
so we all get to use the ballroom right. on account of we paid for it and all.
October 24, 2025 at 12:57 AM
so we all get to use the ballroom right. on account of we paid for it and all.
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Good news: living "forever" becomes increasingly attainable as the end draws near!
October 22, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Good news: living "forever" becomes increasingly attainable as the end draws near!
so mike johnson is a westworld robot right.
October 22, 2025 at 3:59 PM
so mike johnson is a westworld robot right.
wait so if i smoke pot i can’t own a gun? oh no [takes enormous bong hit] oh noooooo<cough>
October 20, 2025 at 7:26 PM
wait so if i smoke pot i can’t own a gun? oh no [takes enormous bong hit] oh noooooo<cough>