Miss Havisham to you.
@misshavisham121.bsky.social
Imperfection at its finest.
Pinned
I’m not saying I’m having a midlife crisis, but I recently turned 50, joined the local Kiwanis club, joined a co-ed adult ice hockey team, and adopted three more cats.
Every time I buy a fun, new mug my mother yells “We have too many mugs!”
& I yell “You suck the joy out of everything!”
& she yells “Don’t say ‘suck’!”
& I yell “I’m a grown woman!” & she yells “Then are you finally moving out of my house”
& I yell “You suck the joy out of everything!”
& she yells “Don’t say ‘suck’!”
& I yell “I’m a grown woman!” & she yells “Then are you finally moving out of my house”
August 31, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Every time I buy a fun, new mug my mother yells “We have too many mugs!”
& I yell “You suck the joy out of everything!”
& she yells “Don’t say ‘suck’!”
& I yell “I’m a grown woman!” & she yells “Then are you finally moving out of my house”
& I yell “You suck the joy out of everything!”
& she yells “Don’t say ‘suck’!”
& I yell “I’m a grown woman!” & she yells “Then are you finally moving out of my house”
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
My skeletons have their own closets.
August 30, 2025 at 10:33 PM
My skeletons have their own closets.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
It's hard to break it to four-year-olds that their best years are behind them but they're going to find out sooner or later.
August 24, 2025 at 12:16 PM
It's hard to break it to four-year-olds that their best years are behind them but they're going to find out sooner or later.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Some people ask, what would Jesus do. I ask, will it frighten the squirrels?
August 30, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Some people ask, what would Jesus do. I ask, will it frighten the squirrels?
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Whenever I’m facing a moral dilemma, I think of the advice my father gave me.
“Never leave a paper trail,” he’d say, tapping the glass partition between us for emphasis.
“Never leave a paper trail,” he’d say, tapping the glass partition between us for emphasis.
August 30, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Whenever I’m facing a moral dilemma, I think of the advice my father gave me.
“Never leave a paper trail,” he’d say, tapping the glass partition between us for emphasis.
“Never leave a paper trail,” he’d say, tapping the glass partition between us for emphasis.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
I love a thrill... like when you hold down backspace and it starts erasing like 10x faster fuck
August 30, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I love a thrill... like when you hold down backspace and it starts erasing like 10x faster fuck
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Transition lenses that keep getting darker the longer someone is talking to you.
November 13, 2024 at 1:00 PM
Transition lenses that keep getting darker the longer someone is talking to you.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
I was arguing with a guy at a bar. He said he was a big pop star in the 80s.
I didn’t believe him, but he was adamant…
I didn’t believe him, but he was adamant…
August 29, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I was arguing with a guy at a bar. He said he was a big pop star in the 80s.
I didn’t believe him, but he was adamant…
I didn’t believe him, but he was adamant…
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Somebody needs to invite me to a fancy party. Getting dressed up might temporarily bolster my will to live.
February 12, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Somebody needs to invite me to a fancy party. Getting dressed up might temporarily bolster my will to live.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
I think it’s important to remember that “the village idiot” isn’t necessarily that village’s ONLY idiot, he’s just the most famous one
August 30, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I think it’s important to remember that “the village idiot” isn’t necessarily that village’s ONLY idiot, he’s just the most famous one
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
“Someday I’ll show my teen a video they haven’t already seen before,” I whisper into my morning coffee.
August 30, 2025 at 4:33 PM
“Someday I’ll show my teen a video they haven’t already seen before,” I whisper into my morning coffee.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
*Random Self-Aware Plant just screams forever*
June 23, 2023 at 3:12 PM
*Random Self-Aware Plant just screams forever*
The American flag is beautiful, flying at half mast, steeped in the symbolism of our collective sorrow.
Children play a game of football beneath it, happily unaware that symbolism effects no action, still.
Children play a game of football beneath it, happily unaware that symbolism effects no action, still.
August 30, 2025 at 3:00 PM
The American flag is beautiful, flying at half mast, steeped in the symbolism of our collective sorrow.
Children play a game of football beneath it, happily unaware that symbolism effects no action, still.
Children play a game of football beneath it, happily unaware that symbolism effects no action, still.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Doctor: So, what are you using for birth control?
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
November 30, 2024 at 12:09 AM
Doctor: So, what are you using for birth control?
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
If I’m reading their lips correctly, it looks like my neighbors are having an argument about the creepy guy next door.
November 15, 2024 at 9:44 PM
If I’m reading their lips correctly, it looks like my neighbors are having an argument about the creepy guy next door.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Pharmacist: may I help you?
Me: Can I see the menu, please?
Me: Can I see the menu, please?
December 5, 2024 at 12:19 AM
Pharmacist: may I help you?
Me: Can I see the menu, please?
Me: Can I see the menu, please?
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
“OMG Stanley, just pick a damn spot!”
“THERE. Are you happy now, Alison?”
“Took you long enough.”
“THERE. Are you happy now, Alison?”
“Took you long enough.”
August 29, 2025 at 1:16 PM
“OMG Stanley, just pick a damn spot!”
“THERE. Are you happy now, Alison?”
“Took you long enough.”
“THERE. Are you happy now, Alison?”
“Took you long enough.”
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
you just know somebody’s being called by their full name right now
August 30, 2025 at 1:35 PM
you just know somebody’s being called by their full name right now
I’m no kind of intellectual, but my sister-in-law asked if “Edgar Allen Poe wrote the Romeo and Juliet book” and my kids share that family’s genes.
August 29, 2025 at 8:13 PM
I’m no kind of intellectual, but my sister-in-law asked if “Edgar Allen Poe wrote the Romeo and Juliet book” and my kids share that family’s genes.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
No one fucks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
July 21, 2023 at 1:38 PM
No one fucks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
Indiana Jones and the Fucking Audacity of 2025.
August 29, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Indiana Jones and the Fucking Audacity of 2025.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
I don't like the person I become when my phone starts ringing.
August 15, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I don't like the person I become when my phone starts ringing.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
I didn’t ghost you. I dissolved in the silence between your breadcrumbs.
August 29, 2025 at 2:10 PM
I didn’t ghost you. I dissolved in the silence between your breadcrumbs.
Reposted by Miss Havisham to you.
You know they make the blenders loud so you can't hear the fruit screaming.
December 2, 2024 at 1:33 AM
You know they make the blenders loud so you can't hear the fruit screaming.