*romantically proposing* will you commit to this bit with me?

genuinely love being from south LA bc my friends think I’m a genius for having basic street smarts lmao I feel like the Artful Dodger

really sick of men on dating apps bragging about traveling, you know who else was well traveled? christopher columbus

*mom voice* a new year? we already have year at home

my slavic relative wishing me happy birthday

a guy at a party told me I look like the bird from stuart little 2 and then immediately started apologizing, I don’t know how to interpret that