Michael Gerber, bon vivant
@michaelgerber.bsky.social
Boss @ American Bystander. Proud papa of Barry Trotter. Cerebrally Palsied. Survivor of bonus mystery illness. Lover of print comedy & cartoons, Worsley acupuncture, qigong, trains, chicken curry. Mayor of Santa Monica (unofficial).
Pinned
My fellow US satirists, now is the time to do your thing.
Self-censoring is “obeying in advance.”
Forget your career—draw blood
Tear down these crooks & fools
Whether you’re writing for Colbert or doing one night in some black box over a bowling alley, NOW is the time to
LET IT RIP!!!!
Self-censoring is “obeying in advance.”
Forget your career—draw blood
Tear down these crooks & fools
Whether you’re writing for Colbert or doing one night in some black box over a bowling alley, NOW is the time to
LET IT RIP!!!!
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
If you see this, post your bird art.
November 12, 2025 at 4:10 PM
If you see this, post your bird art.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
Imagine, if you will, an email from Ghislaine Maxwell to Jeffrey Epstein about Obama or Biden spending HOURS with a victim of sexual abuse at Epstein's house.
It would be nonstop coverage until the President was impeached and, hopefully, removed from office.
It would be nonstop coverage until the President was impeached and, hopefully, removed from office.
A direct email exchange from 2011 between Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, just released by House Oversight Committee Democrats.
November 12, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Imagine, if you will, an email from Ghislaine Maxwell to Jeffrey Epstein about Obama or Biden spending HOURS with a victim of sexual abuse at Epstein's house.
It would be nonstop coverage until the President was impeached and, hopefully, removed from office.
It would be nonstop coverage until the President was impeached and, hopefully, removed from office.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
Bob Wilkins!
Understated, dry, witty, & informative. Did lots of interviews with actors, fans, authors.
He kicked off his initial shows talking about how bad the movie was, telling people what was on other channels, & suggesting they switch. Advertisers were pissed until they saw his ratings.
Understated, dry, witty, & informative. Did lots of interviews with actors, fans, authors.
He kicked off his initial shows talking about how bad the movie was, telling people what was on other channels, & suggesting they switch. Advertisers were pissed until they saw his ratings.
October 3, 2024 at 1:45 PM
Bob Wilkins!
Understated, dry, witty, & informative. Did lots of interviews with actors, fans, authors.
He kicked off his initial shows talking about how bad the movie was, telling people what was on other channels, & suggesting they switch. Advertisers were pissed until they saw his ratings.
Understated, dry, witty, & informative. Did lots of interviews with actors, fans, authors.
He kicked off his initial shows talking about how bad the movie was, telling people what was on other channels, & suggesting they switch. Advertisers were pissed until they saw his ratings.
Future historians will want to know:
“Why did American society—which endlessly enabled grotesque repression to “protect the children”—tolerate a president who was pals with an actual pedophile (IF NOT A PEDOPHILE HIMSELF)?“
“Why did American society—which endlessly enabled grotesque repression to “protect the children”—tolerate a president who was pals with an actual pedophile (IF NOT A PEDOPHILE HIMSELF)?“
November 12, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Future historians will want to know:
“Why did American society—which endlessly enabled grotesque repression to “protect the children”—tolerate a president who was pals with an actual pedophile (IF NOT A PEDOPHILE HIMSELF)?“
“Why did American society—which endlessly enabled grotesque repression to “protect the children”—tolerate a president who was pals with an actual pedophile (IF NOT A PEDOPHILE HIMSELF)?“
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
every tiny crumb that leaks out is a career ending bombshell and we’re all just supposed to go on with our lives while our elected representatives shrug and tell us there’s nothing to be done about the president’s involvement in a child sex trafficking operation
A direct email exchange from 2011 between Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, just released by House Oversight Committee Democrats.
November 12, 2025 at 2:56 PM
every tiny crumb that leaks out is a career ending bombshell and we’re all just supposed to go on with our lives while our elected representatives shrug and tell us there’s nothing to be done about the president’s involvement in a child sex trafficking operation
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
why the fuck didn’t any of this stuff come out when Biden was president
A direct email exchange from 2011 between Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, just released by House Oversight Committee Democrats.
November 12, 2025 at 3:19 PM
why the fuck didn’t any of this stuff come out when Biden was president
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
When I say they’re trying to engineer their own nativist blood libel, this is it. It’s JD vance going on podcasts and asserting minorities torture and eat your pets while citing crime statistics as evidence that ethnic cleaning works as they torture and rape immigrants in camps. This is our nazism.
Here’s a great example of Homeland Security and Tricia McLaughlin propaganda not being true. They’re going around claiming credit for Chicago experiencing the fewest summer murders since 1965. That was true and reported locally before Midway Blitz even began.
November 12, 2025 at 3:26 PM
When I say they’re trying to engineer their own nativist blood libel, this is it. It’s JD vance going on podcasts and asserting minorities torture and eat your pets while citing crime statistics as evidence that ethnic cleaning works as they torture and rape immigrants in camps. This is our nazism.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
So on Epstein, the Democratic position should be "Trump should resign." If you are a Democratic elected, practice saying "We demand the president's resignation" in front of a mirror as many times as it takes until the dry-heaving that comes from having a phobia about actually doing politics passes.
November 12, 2025 at 3:20 PM
So on Epstein, the Democratic position should be "Trump should resign." If you are a Democratic elected, practice saying "We demand the president's resignation" in front of a mirror as many times as it takes until the dry-heaving that comes from having a phobia about actually doing politics passes.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
Rinse and repeat for universal basic income. Every study ever (literally!) says it is a stunning success. Every govt ever: hmm I dunno, let’s do another study.
November 12, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Rinse and repeat for universal basic income. Every study ever (literally!) says it is a stunning success. Every govt ever: hmm I dunno, let’s do another study.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
MY SCRIPT FOR NEXT JAMES BOND
GROUCHO: (Enters wearing bow tie and fez) Greetings, Russkies. I’m Bond James Bond, my Dad had a stutter. Put your guns down! Now put your hands up! Now put your feet up! It gets tiring, this espionage game. Allow me to introduce my associate, Voluptua Gazungas.
GROUCHO: (Enters wearing bow tie and fez) Greetings, Russkies. I’m Bond James Bond, my Dad had a stutter. Put your guns down! Now put your hands up! Now put your feet up! It gets tiring, this espionage game. Allow me to introduce my associate, Voluptua Gazungas.
November 11, 2025 at 1:02 PM
MY SCRIPT FOR NEXT JAMES BOND
GROUCHO: (Enters wearing bow tie and fez) Greetings, Russkies. I’m Bond James Bond, my Dad had a stutter. Put your guns down! Now put your hands up! Now put your feet up! It gets tiring, this espionage game. Allow me to introduce my associate, Voluptua Gazungas.
GROUCHO: (Enters wearing bow tie and fez) Greetings, Russkies. I’m Bond James Bond, my Dad had a stutter. Put your guns down! Now put your hands up! Now put your feet up! It gets tiring, this espionage game. Allow me to introduce my associate, Voluptua Gazungas.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
Makes me nuts about Northeastern conservatives like Portnoy: He talks about wanting the whole country to be like the South, but then he spends a tiny bit of time around the dipshits we got down here and he's like "all of this sucks----but I want that for the rest of you, back to Nantucket"
Dave Portnoy's antisemitic heckler was arrested in Mississippi for disturbing the peace.
awfulannouncing.com/barstool/dav...
awfulannouncing.com/barstool/dav...
Dave Portnoy's alleged antisemitic heckler arrested in Mississippi
The Starkville Police Department have reportedly arrested the man who allegedly yelled antisemitic remarks at Barstool founder Dave Portnoy.
awfulannouncing.com
November 11, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Makes me nuts about Northeastern conservatives like Portnoy: He talks about wanting the whole country to be like the South, but then he spends a tiny bit of time around the dipshits we got down here and he's like "all of this sucks----but I want that for the rest of you, back to Nantucket"
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
From a Washington Post story titled "How women feel about Trump’s presidency"
November 11, 2025 at 5:42 PM
From a Washington Post story titled "How women feel about Trump’s presidency"
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
The finale of the great TV comedy show Blackadder goes Forth.
Back then I didn't expect one of the funniest programmes ever to end with a scene that makes me cry every time I see it.
Every single time.
Back then I didn't expect one of the funniest programmes ever to end with a scene that makes me cry every time I see it.
Every single time.
November 11, 2025 at 12:33 PM
The finale of the great TV comedy show Blackadder goes Forth.
Back then I didn't expect one of the funniest programmes ever to end with a scene that makes me cry every time I see it.
Every single time.
Back then I didn't expect one of the funniest programmes ever to end with a scene that makes me cry every time I see it.
Every single time.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
My last word on the matter
November 11, 2025 at 2:27 PM
My last word on the matter
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
On Veterans Day I always remember my grandfather, who fought in World War II. We hear a lot about the men who landed at Normandy, but let's also recall heroes like my grandfather, who as his diary records was then still in England, playing baseball & attending lectures on VD.
November 11, 2025 at 5:23 PM
On Veterans Day I always remember my grandfather, who fought in World War II. We hear a lot about the men who landed at Normandy, but let's also recall heroes like my grandfather, who as his diary records was then still in England, playing baseball & attending lectures on VD.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
Could a quote possibly be more on the nose for Bari, the Ellisons, the Trump movement, or this whole era in American life than "what's the point of standards"? www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
November 11, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Could a quote possibly be more on the nose for Bari, the Ellisons, the Trump movement, or this whole era in American life than "what's the point of standards"? www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
instead of saying this was good strategy, maybe senate dems should say: "the republicans were going to kill people by starving them to death, and because we aren't monsters, we decided to let this fight go. We'll keep fighting. Stop electing monsters."
November 11, 2025 at 1:42 PM
instead of saying this was good strategy, maybe senate dems should say: "the republicans were going to kill people by starving them to death, and because we aren't monsters, we decided to let this fight go. We'll keep fighting. Stop electing monsters."
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
No one will ever sum up Bari Weiss's career more succinctly than "what's the point of standards"
“Standards will be eliminated or severely cut back. Bari has told people that she wants to get rid of standards and is shocked that they have so much power. She asks ‘What’s the point of standards?’
November 11, 2025 at 3:46 PM
No one will ever sum up Bari Weiss's career more succinctly than "what's the point of standards"
Richard Burton was born 100 years ago today, on November 10th 1925, and he was already drunk.
November 11, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Richard Burton was born 100 years ago today, on November 10th 1925, and he was already drunk.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
Richard Burton was born 100 years ago today, on November 10th 1925. Throughout his life he was a voracious reader. In his diary he recorded carrying a “book bag” everywhere, noting on one particular day that he’d read five books. He described books as his “first love”.
museum.wales/blog/2306/Bu...
museum.wales/blog/2306/Bu...
Burton and his books
Richard Burton had many loves in his life but one of his less-known and lifelong was his love of boo...
museum.wales
November 10, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Richard Burton was born 100 years ago today, on November 10th 1925. Throughout his life he was a voracious reader. In his diary he recorded carrying a “book bag” everywhere, noting on one particular day that he’d read five books. He described books as his “first love”.
museum.wales/blog/2306/Bu...
museum.wales/blog/2306/Bu...
Hey Sex People,
You've heard about the Italian Chandelier, but why is no one talking about the Sicilian Immersion Blender???
You've heard about the Italian Chandelier, but why is no one talking about the Sicilian Immersion Blender???
November 11, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Hey Sex People,
You've heard about the Italian Chandelier, but why is no one talking about the Sicilian Immersion Blender???
You've heard about the Italian Chandelier, but why is no one talking about the Sicilian Immersion Blender???
An all-time great, but he forgot "THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER."
For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind.
For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind.
November 10, 2025 at 11:53 PM
An all-time great, but he forgot "THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER."
For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind.
For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
That old metaphor about the frog and the boiling water isn’t true: If you put a frog in a pot of water and slowly raise the heat, the frog will jump out before it gets boiled to death.
The question now is whether American journalists are smarter than frogs.
My Stop the Presses newsletter.
The question now is whether American journalists are smarter than frogs.
My Stop the Presses newsletter.
How news coverage eases us into tyranny
When the media act like things are normal, they don’t reassure us – they gaslight us
www.stopthepresses.news
November 10, 2025 at 6:53 PM
That old metaphor about the frog and the boiling water isn’t true: If you put a frog in a pot of water and slowly raise the heat, the frog will jump out before it gets boiled to death.
The question now is whether American journalists are smarter than frogs.
My Stop the Presses newsletter.
The question now is whether American journalists are smarter than frogs.
My Stop the Presses newsletter.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
I know some folks like to show respect for veteran politicians, but I’m done with that.
Dick Durbin has been useless in a job that could’ve been held by someone who actually understood the fascist threat.
If you’re not built for the fight, get out of the fight. But don’t throw us to the dogs.
Dick Durbin has been useless in a job that could’ve been held by someone who actually understood the fascist threat.
If you’re not built for the fight, get out of the fight. But don’t throw us to the dogs.
November 10, 2025 at 4:02 AM
I know some folks like to show respect for veteran politicians, but I’m done with that.
Dick Durbin has been useless in a job that could’ve been held by someone who actually understood the fascist threat.
If you’re not built for the fight, get out of the fight. But don’t throw us to the dogs.
Dick Durbin has been useless in a job that could’ve been held by someone who actually understood the fascist threat.
If you’re not built for the fight, get out of the fight. But don’t throw us to the dogs.
Reposted by Michael Gerber, bon vivant
The people are demanding Democrats who are fighters. The folders must step aside.
November 10, 2025 at 3:12 AM
The people are demanding Democrats who are fighters. The folders must step aside.