Hey you, buy the precut fruit and veggies, no, I know it’s not cheaper, I can read, but you’re not going to go home and cut them and put them away like you said. You’re actually going to NOT eat them if they’re not pre-cut so you’re actually wasting money. You are welcome, I love you too.

Now that I have fewer followers, I can finally admit that sometimes I read the wikipedia plots of books with very large male followings and post controversial and nonsensical takes in the subreddits of those books, just to rile them up 😌

Now that we’re here, and the angry people are on X and the dancing people are on insta, and we’re all finding a place; wouldn’t it be nice if there was a peaceful garden somewhere, just for the sexy lady bot accounts, where they could finally rest.

Doctor: congrats on the baby! What are you going to name him

Newt Gingrich’s mom: newt Gingrich

I am here. 🥰

Bluesky right now feels a little like all the Whos gathering to sing after the Grinch stole their floofloovers and jingtinglers.

I must say, I’m a little suspicious of and side-eyeing people who have been *really productive* this past week.

Cause how sway?

"Fuck your feelings" but also please come to thanksgiving, we miss you and our vote had nothing to do with you, honey.