mave
@mave.bsky.social
if anyone needs me, i’ll be in the lagoon
bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2wtsa2p73r3lsfyenwlu6zrx/feed/aaadnem4lhxts
bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2wtsa2p73r3lsfyenwlu6zrx/feed/aaadnem4lhxts
Pinned
mave
@mave.bsky.social
· Feb 11
(during lull in conversation) maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
Reposted by mave
Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae
November 11, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae
Reposted by mave
During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
November 10, 2025 at 10:41 PM
During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
Reposted by mave
The algorithm would really like me to slice up an orange and dry it in the oven all day to make Christmas decorations and it just might win.
November 10, 2025 at 1:57 AM
The algorithm would really like me to slice up an orange and dry it in the oven all day to make Christmas decorations and it just might win.
Reposted by mave
Here I am, deploying a cover letter and CV for yet another gig I won't get, since I still haven't figured out where I apply to become a secretive late-career novelist who performs all the voices while testing out potential plot points on a sleeping cat in a gothic mansion. I have experience.
November 10, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Here I am, deploying a cover letter and CV for yet another gig I won't get, since I still haven't figured out where I apply to become a secretive late-career novelist who performs all the voices while testing out potential plot points on a sleeping cat in a gothic mansion. I have experience.
Reposted by mave
The Avocado Whisperer
November 10, 2025 at 12:04 AM
The Avocado Whisperer
Reposted by mave
Is your child secretly hoarding fresh produce? Check if they're using these acronyms...
LOL: lots of lettuce
YOLO: yummy oranges locked, organized
ASAP: apples sold and pocketed
FOMO: fennel, oyster mushrooms, oregano
AFAIK: all figs are in knapsack
BRB: bought radicchio boxes
LOL: lots of lettuce
YOLO: yummy oranges locked, organized
ASAP: apples sold and pocketed
FOMO: fennel, oyster mushrooms, oregano
AFAIK: all figs are in knapsack
BRB: bought radicchio boxes
November 9, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Is your child secretly hoarding fresh produce? Check if they're using these acronyms...
LOL: lots of lettuce
YOLO: yummy oranges locked, organized
ASAP: apples sold and pocketed
FOMO: fennel, oyster mushrooms, oregano
AFAIK: all figs are in knapsack
BRB: bought radicchio boxes
LOL: lots of lettuce
YOLO: yummy oranges locked, organized
ASAP: apples sold and pocketed
FOMO: fennel, oyster mushrooms, oregano
AFAIK: all figs are in knapsack
BRB: bought radicchio boxes
[watching the most unrelentingly bleak movie] i hope they have bloopers during the credits
November 9, 2025 at 11:08 PM
[watching the most unrelentingly bleak movie] i hope they have bloopers during the credits
Reposted by mave
i never played that game "where in the world is carmen sandiego?" because the answer's right there. san diego.
November 9, 2025 at 2:01 PM
i never played that game "where in the world is carmen sandiego?" because the answer's right there. san diego.
Tonight on The Golden Bachelor: No one will accept Herman’s final rose, so he wanders the halls of the mansion morosely, gripping the withered petals. The remaining women charter a jet to Fiji.
November 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Tonight on The Golden Bachelor: No one will accept Herman’s final rose, so he wanders the halls of the mansion morosely, gripping the withered petals. The remaining women charter a jet to Fiji.
Reposted by mave
“I’m here,” I say in a muffled voice, “deep inside the chunky knit.”
November 1, 2025 at 3:47 PM
“I’m here,” I say in a muffled voice, “deep inside the chunky knit.”
The time change doesn’t bother me. I always keep some daylight saved in a jar on my kitchen counter
November 2, 2025 at 5:03 PM
The time change doesn’t bother me. I always keep some daylight saved in a jar on my kitchen counter
Reposted by mave
Reposted by mave
Vampire getting very excited to learn blood oranges exist and then getting very disappointed tasting one
October 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Vampire getting very excited to learn blood oranges exist and then getting very disappointed tasting one
Reposted by mave
Ultimately, each one of us must decide for ourselves what is too fast or too furious
October 30, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Ultimately, each one of us must decide for ourselves what is too fast or too furious
Reposted by mave
[you find a mysterious charging port on your body]
oh no
[also it’s not usb-c]
OH NO
oh no
[also it’s not usb-c]
OH NO
December 5, 2024 at 1:56 PM
[you find a mysterious charging port on your body]
oh no
[also it’s not usb-c]
OH NO
oh no
[also it’s not usb-c]
OH NO
@linanneblack.bsky.social was going to point out there are so many 🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛ in your name at the moment and then they started🐦⬛circling🐦⬛over🐦⬛🐦⬛here🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛toooo🐦⬛
October 31, 2025 at 11:36 PM
@linanneblack.bsky.social was going to point out there are so many 🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛ in your name at the moment and then they started🐦⬛circling🐦⬛over🐦⬛🐦⬛here🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛toooo🐦⬛
Reposted by mave
My husband is setting up the projector so Slimer will appear on the living room curtain sheer and yelling, “Customer!”every time a kid walks up for trick-or-treat. I have managed to remain pleasant.
October 31, 2025 at 11:33 PM
My husband is setting up the projector so Slimer will appear on the living room curtain sheer and yelling, “Customer!”every time a kid walks up for trick-or-treat. I have managed to remain pleasant.
Don’t know why trick-or-treaters are annoyed I’m scooping guacamole into their bags. It’s a premium add-on
October 31, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Don’t know why trick-or-treaters are annoyed I’m scooping guacamole into their bags. It’s a premium add-on
Reposted by mave
I remain defeated when it comes to battle with a wasp.
October 26, 2025 at 9:21 PM
I remain defeated when it comes to battle with a wasp.
Reposted by mave
can i get uhhhhh slimeburger with an extra goblin patty
oh and a snotshake
oh and a snotshake
October 31, 2025 at 4:17 PM
can i get uhhhhh slimeburger with an extra goblin patty
oh and a snotshake
oh and a snotshake
Reposted by mave
They're calling my one man show "a tactile experience you won't forget" featuring "textures we hadn't considered"
October 31, 2025 at 9:25 PM
They're calling my one man show "a tactile experience you won't forget" featuring "textures we hadn't considered"
Halloween decorations would have you believe that witches always fly their brooms into trees, but with the new Broomzelda Deluxe™️, arboreal crashes are reduced 100%
October 31, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Halloween decorations would have you believe that witches always fly their brooms into trees, but with the new Broomzelda Deluxe™️, arboreal crashes are reduced 100%
Reposted by mave
There is one way to spell the noise a cat makes and that is "meow". I don't want to see "miaow" or any other perverse variations. Let's keep that vowel-to-consonant ratio within acceptable parameters
October 31, 2025 at 7:34 PM
There is one way to spell the noise a cat makes and that is "meow". I don't want to see "miaow" or any other perverse variations. Let's keep that vowel-to-consonant ratio within acceptable parameters
Reposted by mave
Here at the institute, we're changing vegetables in a big way. The screaming you hear is from the lettuce lab
May 14, 2024 at 9:43 PM
Here at the institute, we're changing vegetables in a big way. The screaming you hear is from the lettuce lab