Mathew Watts
@matwatts.bsky.social
Someone else probably said it better.
I worried that I’d lost something vital and irreplaceable this summer. That the world had turned on me. And then I noticed a small pile of turds and looked up. Batrick Swayze has returned—later than ever, but the bat is back.
August 2, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I worried that I’d lost something vital and irreplaceable this summer. That the world had turned on me. And then I noticed a small pile of turds and looked up. Batrick Swayze has returned—later than ever, but the bat is back.
Revisited my favorite Midwestern liminal space today
July 27, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Revisited my favorite Midwestern liminal space today
Truly inspired back-to-back articles from The Guardian featured on my Facebook newsfeed. Seems like Hall got off easier though.
July 13, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Truly inspired back-to-back articles from The Guardian featured on my Facebook newsfeed. Seems like Hall got off easier though.
No no no, I want to go to the PUNK dentist
July 12, 2025 at 10:13 PM
No no no, I want to go to the PUNK dentist
My wife has this theory that there are two types of cats: circle cats, and shrimp cats. I think she’s onto something.
July 11, 2025 at 11:48 PM
My wife has this theory that there are two types of cats: circle cats, and shrimp cats. I think she’s onto something.
Inside you there are two wolves
July 6, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Inside you there are two wolves
This is how you cover your ass. Thanks, poetry!
June 27, 2025 at 5:54 PM
This is how you cover your ass. Thanks, poetry!
The Cybertruck really revolutionized the bug-killing potential of EVs.
June 24, 2025 at 10:02 PM
The Cybertruck really revolutionized the bug-killing potential of EVs.
The government keeps taking my kids away but my lips look FABULOUS
June 19, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The government keeps taking my kids away but my lips look FABULOUS
A full rainbow over Richard’s Bar? It’s a goddamn Pride Month miracle.
June 5, 2025 at 1:18 AM
A full rainbow over Richard’s Bar? It’s a goddamn Pride Month miracle.
The abandoned Chicago Rainforest Cafe, not sane, stood by itself against the hills, holding darkness within, and whatever walked there walked alone.
June 4, 2025 at 11:51 PM
The abandoned Chicago Rainforest Cafe, not sane, stood by itself against the hills, holding darkness within, and whatever walked there walked alone.
Hell yeah brother! Nothing better on a hot day!
May 18, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Hell yeah brother! Nothing better on a hot day!
I started jogging on the treadmill a couple months ago. Last week I took my first outdoor run since my 20s, and today I just knocked out my first accidental street 5k. There were a few points in my life where I never thought I’d be able run again, so today is a hell of a day.
May 17, 2025 at 6:57 PM
I started jogging on the treadmill a couple months ago. Last week I took my first outdoor run since my 20s, and today I just knocked out my first accidental street 5k. There were a few points in my life where I never thought I’d be able run again, so today is a hell of a day.
There must be a Sonic in heaven because the sky is dispensing that GOOD ice
May 16, 2025 at 1:26 AM
There must be a Sonic in heaven because the sky is dispensing that GOOD ice
No flower dies harder than a snapdragon
May 10, 2025 at 10:28 PM
No flower dies harder than a snapdragon
Greatest opportunity ever to use the old record-scratch-“Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here”-bit.
May 8, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Greatest opportunity ever to use the old record-scratch-“Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here”-bit.
“Don’t trouble yourself, human. The Peanut will provide for his cat brethren.”
May 6, 2025 at 11:02 PM
“Don’t trouble yourself, human. The Peanut will provide for his cat brethren.”
Oh hey! It’s the one week of the year when I don’t fucking hate the crabapple tree in our front yard.
April 28, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Oh hey! It’s the one week of the year when I don’t fucking hate the crabapple tree in our front yard.
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
April 26, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
Awww, I love you too little graffiti!
April 23, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Awww, I love you too little graffiti!
Hanami at Jackson Park
April 21, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Hanami at Jackson Park
Good old Easter Chocolate—the only chocolate that’s so bad your kid stops himself half way through and says, “That’s enough chocolate.”
April 20, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Good old Easter Chocolate—the only chocolate that’s so bad your kid stops himself half way through and says, “That’s enough chocolate.”
This cat ain’t right
April 20, 2025 at 3:06 AM
This cat ain’t right