Matt Stache
@mattstache.bsky.social
Mustachioed gentleman ne'erdowell. Hobbyist fencer and sword enthusiast. Perpetual wearer of kilts. The bard.
Forgot that I was going to do more thirst traps here. How about a postwork Thirst Trap Thursday?
December 4, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Forgot that I was going to do more thirst traps here. How about a postwork Thirst Trap Thursday?
Through sheer incompetence, I put a hole in my bathroom drywall while attempting to re-hang a towel ring.
Am I going to learn the lifelong useful skill of patching drywall?
Hell no! I'm putting a fairy door over that fucker and moving on with life.
Am I going to learn the lifelong useful skill of patching drywall?
Hell no! I'm putting a fairy door over that fucker and moving on with life.
December 4, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Through sheer incompetence, I put a hole in my bathroom drywall while attempting to re-hang a towel ring.
Am I going to learn the lifelong useful skill of patching drywall?
Hell no! I'm putting a fairy door over that fucker and moving on with life.
Am I going to learn the lifelong useful skill of patching drywall?
Hell no! I'm putting a fairy door over that fucker and moving on with life.
Context Free Quote Of The Day:
"That tastes like I licked a World Market"
"That tastes like I licked a World Market"
November 30, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Context Free Quote Of The Day:
"That tastes like I licked a World Market"
"That tastes like I licked a World Market"
The guy next to me in this pub is doing sick tricks with a finger skateboard.
Find your joy in life and be awesome.
Find your joy in life and be awesome.
November 28, 2025 at 9:19 PM
The guy next to me in this pub is doing sick tricks with a finger skateboard.
Find your joy in life and be awesome.
Find your joy in life and be awesome.
While champagne sabrage is dramatic and flashy, nothing has impressed me more than someone silently opening a champagne bottle...
..in public in full view of the police, in such a manner that no one noticed.
..in public in full view of the police, in such a manner that no one noticed.
November 26, 2025 at 10:43 PM
While champagne sabrage is dramatic and flashy, nothing has impressed me more than someone silently opening a champagne bottle...
..in public in full view of the police, in such a manner that no one noticed.
..in public in full view of the police, in such a manner that no one noticed.
Great kilt update: I've got good enough that I can lay it out and pleat it in less than 15 minutes.
Putting it on and getting it exactly right takes another 10 minutes, then 10 minutes of looking in the mirror and 10 more minutes of adjusting it again.
Putting it on and getting it exactly right takes another 10 minutes, then 10 minutes of looking in the mirror and 10 more minutes of adjusting it again.
November 26, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Great kilt update: I've got good enough that I can lay it out and pleat it in less than 15 minutes.
Putting it on and getting it exactly right takes another 10 minutes, then 10 minutes of looking in the mirror and 10 more minutes of adjusting it again.
Putting it on and getting it exactly right takes another 10 minutes, then 10 minutes of looking in the mirror and 10 more minutes of adjusting it again.
Today is my mustache's 18th birthday. It's old enough to vote, buy scratch off tickets and register for selective service.
Do you still have to go to the post office to do that or can you do it online?
Do you still have to go to the post office to do that or can you do it online?
November 25, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Today is my mustache's 18th birthday. It's old enough to vote, buy scratch off tickets and register for selective service.
Do you still have to go to the post office to do that or can you do it online?
Do you still have to go to the post office to do that or can you do it online?
I flew to Tallahassee on Friday to buy my parents' old car. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
But now I'm safely in Savannah at an Irish pub with my family name.
A Guinness, a shot of Sexton whisky and a spice bag. It's going to be ok.
But now I'm safely in Savannah at an Irish pub with my family name.
A Guinness, a shot of Sexton whisky and a spice bag. It's going to be ok.
November 23, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I flew to Tallahassee on Friday to buy my parents' old car. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
But now I'm safely in Savannah at an Irish pub with my family name.
A Guinness, a shot of Sexton whisky and a spice bag. It's going to be ok.
But now I'm safely in Savannah at an Irish pub with my family name.
A Guinness, a shot of Sexton whisky and a spice bag. It's going to be ok.
I haven't had stage fright in 20 years...
... this is a novel feeling.
Fuck.
... this is a novel feeling.
Fuck.
November 16, 2025 at 8:43 PM
I haven't had stage fright in 20 years...
... this is a novel feeling.
Fuck.
... this is a novel feeling.
Fuck.
New Mandela Effect:
The song "Flowers," is apparently by Miley Cyrus.
I swore it was Bruno Mars.
The song "Flowers," is apparently by Miley Cyrus.
I swore it was Bruno Mars.
November 15, 2025 at 2:45 AM
New Mandela Effect:
The song "Flowers," is apparently by Miley Cyrus.
I swore it was Bruno Mars.
The song "Flowers," is apparently by Miley Cyrus.
I swore it was Bruno Mars.
I want to start a business where I give people an idea, maybe it's a good idea, maybe it's not. But it's an idea for a flat fee.
It might be a business idea or a product idea, but I will not be executing the idea. For 5 bucks, that idea is your baby now.
It might be a business idea or a product idea, but I will not be executing the idea. For 5 bucks, that idea is your baby now.
November 9, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I want to start a business where I give people an idea, maybe it's a good idea, maybe it's not. But it's an idea for a flat fee.
It might be a business idea or a product idea, but I will not be executing the idea. For 5 bucks, that idea is your baby now.
It might be a business idea or a product idea, but I will not be executing the idea. For 5 bucks, that idea is your baby now.
There's a whisky distillery called "Great Wagon Road," which I can't articulate. Try saying that out loud and sober.
Anyways, I unironically just refer to it as "Wabbit Season."
Anyways, I unironically just refer to it as "Wabbit Season."
November 9, 2025 at 12:58 AM
There's a whisky distillery called "Great Wagon Road," which I can't articulate. Try saying that out loud and sober.
Anyways, I unironically just refer to it as "Wabbit Season."
Anyways, I unironically just refer to it as "Wabbit Season."
I might have become obsessed with Irish spice bags since visiting Irish pubs in Boston and Savannah.
Now I just throw random things in my air fryer, dust them in curry powder and dunk them in curry sauce.
Now I just throw random things in my air fryer, dust them in curry powder and dunk them in curry sauce.
October 31, 2025 at 9:13 PM
I might have become obsessed with Irish spice bags since visiting Irish pubs in Boston and Savannah.
Now I just throw random things in my air fryer, dust them in curry powder and dunk them in curry sauce.
Now I just throw random things in my air fryer, dust them in curry powder and dunk them in curry sauce.
I often have strange dreams. Last night, I dreamt that I got into a shouting match with a Joe Rogan listener...
...What's strange about that is that it's not strange at all. Totally baseline on-brand for me.
...What's strange about that is that it's not strange at all. Totally baseline on-brand for me.
October 29, 2025 at 11:54 AM
I often have strange dreams. Last night, I dreamt that I got into a shouting match with a Joe Rogan listener...
...What's strange about that is that it's not strange at all. Totally baseline on-brand for me.
...What's strange about that is that it's not strange at all. Totally baseline on-brand for me.
I'm from Florida, so my respawn point is the closest Publix.
October 26, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I'm from Florida, so my respawn point is the closest Publix.
"Why are you wearing a kilt?"
"Because pants were invented for riding horses and I don't see any horses around here."
"Because pants were invented for riding horses and I don't see any horses around here."
October 25, 2025 at 10:01 PM
"Why are you wearing a kilt?"
"Because pants were invented for riding horses and I don't see any horses around here."
"Because pants were invented for riding horses and I don't see any horses around here."
Periodic reminder that being a bagpiper involves more trips to the hardware store than you'd imagine
October 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Periodic reminder that being a bagpiper involves more trips to the hardware store than you'd imagine
If you replace the last line of the first verse of "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" with the corresponding line from "Solidarity Forever" it sound like the workers are going to fight God.
"...He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
But the union makes us strong."
"...He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
But the union makes us strong."
October 23, 2025 at 3:31 PM
If you replace the last line of the first verse of "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" with the corresponding line from "Solidarity Forever" it sound like the workers are going to fight God.
"...He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
But the union makes us strong."
"...He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
But the union makes us strong."
Chaotic Context-Free Quote of the Day courtesy of Rita, regarding me:
"What's the best politically sensitive way to put this? You're the king of the assholes."
"What's the best politically sensitive way to put this? You're the king of the assholes."
October 19, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Chaotic Context-Free Quote of the Day courtesy of Rita, regarding me:
"What's the best politically sensitive way to put this? You're the king of the assholes."
"What's the best politically sensitive way to put this? You're the king of the assholes."
Controversial opinion on Brazilian steakhouses. Everyone says, focus on the steaks, don't fill up on side dishes.
Dude, do NOT sleep on the salad bar. That was honestly the best part.
Dude, do NOT sleep on the salad bar. That was honestly the best part.
October 19, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Controversial opinion on Brazilian steakhouses. Everyone says, focus on the steaks, don't fill up on side dishes.
Dude, do NOT sleep on the salad bar. That was honestly the best part.
Dude, do NOT sleep on the salad bar. That was honestly the best part.
Out of Context Quote of the Day:
"Step 1 is to find some Ibuprofen, step to is... wait.. why is my goatee sticky?"
"Step 1 is to find some Ibuprofen, step to is... wait.. why is my goatee sticky?"
October 18, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Out of Context Quote of the Day:
"Step 1 is to find some Ibuprofen, step to is... wait.. why is my goatee sticky?"
"Step 1 is to find some Ibuprofen, step to is... wait.. why is my goatee sticky?"
If you were staying in an Orlando resort and awoken by the sound of bagpipes at 2AM, I would like to apologize.
Whisky might have been a factor.
Whisky might have been a factor.
October 18, 2025 at 4:04 PM
If you were staying in an Orlando resort and awoken by the sound of bagpipes at 2AM, I would like to apologize.
Whisky might have been a factor.
Whisky might have been a factor.
I drink instant coffee about twice a year. Today was one of those days.
October 18, 2025 at 3:46 PM
I drink instant coffee about twice a year. Today was one of those days.
I mean it's crazy, we finish each other's...
..jello shots.
..jello shots.
October 18, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I mean it's crazy, we finish each other's...
..jello shots.
..jello shots.
Final Day of the conference: I gave a 5 minute presentation on how to grow a mustache.
Again, this is a transportation infrastructure design conference
Again, this is a transportation infrastructure design conference
October 17, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Final Day of the conference: I gave a 5 minute presentation on how to grow a mustache.
Again, this is a transportation infrastructure design conference
Again, this is a transportation infrastructure design conference