Matt Knudsen
@mattknudsen.bsky.social
A budget friendly Jeff Daniels
📺 Shrinking, K&P, Big Bang, ITYSL
🎙 Conan, Late Late Show, Dry Bar
📖 Have I Seen You in Anything?
🇺🇸 Mayor of a Small Town
https://linktr.ee/mattknudsen
📺 Shrinking, K&P, Big Bang, ITYSL
🎙 Conan, Late Late Show, Dry Bar
📖 Have I Seen You in Anything?
🇺🇸 Mayor of a Small Town
https://linktr.ee/mattknudsen
Pinned
Matt Knudsen
@mattknudsen.bsky.social
· May 12
TUESDAY, MAY 20TH!
The One Man Variety Show PREMIERS ON:
AMAZON PRIME, APPLE TV, GOOGLE PLAY, MICROSOFT X-BOX, YOUTUBE, DIRECTV, DISH, COMCAST, XFINITY...
And more!!
Shout out to my creative partners at @ComedyDynamics!
The One Man Variety Show PREMIERS ON:
AMAZON PRIME, APPLE TV, GOOGLE PLAY, MICROSOFT X-BOX, YOUTUBE, DIRECTV, DISH, COMCAST, XFINITY...
And more!!
Shout out to my creative partners at @ComedyDynamics!
Just saw the John Travolta as Santa Claus “Grease” commercial for Capital One.
SPOILER ALERT:
For some reason they omitted “the chicks will cream” and “pussy wagon”.
SPOILER ALERT:
For some reason they omitted “the chicks will cream” and “pussy wagon”.
November 27, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Just saw the John Travolta as Santa Claus “Grease” commercial for Capital One.
SPOILER ALERT:
For some reason they omitted “the chicks will cream” and “pussy wagon”.
SPOILER ALERT:
For some reason they omitted “the chicks will cream” and “pussy wagon”.
Reposted by Matt Knudsen
No matter how long I live after we get through this dark chapter, I will never get over the immorality, the amorality, the corruption, the criminality and the cruelty in service to one of the worst humans to ever walk the earth.
November 26, 2025 at 1:13 AM
No matter how long I live after we get through this dark chapter, I will never get over the immorality, the amorality, the corruption, the criminality and the cruelty in service to one of the worst humans to ever walk the earth.
Don’t put the shart in front of the horse.
November 26, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Don’t put the shart in front of the horse.
Reposted by Matt Knudsen
Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level https://theonion.com/boyfriend-ready-to-take-relationship-to-previous-level-1819568844/
November 22, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level https://theonion.com/boyfriend-ready-to-take-relationship-to-previous-level-1819568844/
I’m feeling like my new headshot will work for commercial and theatrical.
November 21, 2025 at 3:26 PM
I’m feeling like my new headshot will work for commercial and theatrical.
As a comedian, I sometimes bomb even when I'm not on stage.
FINANCIAL ADVISOR: Do you have a retirement plan?
ME: Yes. I plan on hanging myself in a barn.
*concerned gasp*
FINANCIAL ADVISOR: Do you have a retirement plan?
ME: Yes. I plan on hanging myself in a barn.
*concerned gasp*
November 20, 2025 at 3:28 PM
As a comedian, I sometimes bomb even when I'm not on stage.
FINANCIAL ADVISOR: Do you have a retirement plan?
ME: Yes. I plan on hanging myself in a barn.
*concerned gasp*
FINANCIAL ADVISOR: Do you have a retirement plan?
ME: Yes. I plan on hanging myself in a barn.
*concerned gasp*
November 16, 2025 at 10:26 PM
The biggest troll I get online is that I've "never heard of you".
I'm also very aware that people who post that had something that they really wanted to do with their life but never even tried.
It's not too late. Get off the internet and go for it!
I'm also very aware that people who post that had something that they really wanted to do with their life but never even tried.
It's not too late. Get off the internet and go for it!
November 16, 2025 at 5:28 PM
The biggest troll I get online is that I've "never heard of you".
I'm also very aware that people who post that had something that they really wanted to do with their life but never even tried.
It's not too late. Get off the internet and go for it!
I'm also very aware that people who post that had something that they really wanted to do with their life but never even tried.
It's not too late. Get off the internet and go for it!
Reposted by Matt Knudsen
i have a crazy idea: imagine an economy that doesnt completely implode every 7 years
November 14, 2025 at 1:11 PM
i have a crazy idea: imagine an economy that doesnt completely implode every 7 years
Release the files sure, but also believe the people that have been credibly telling you for years.
November 14, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Release the files sure, but also believe the people that have been credibly telling you for years.
No longer making the penny doesn’t make cents.
November 13, 2025 at 3:30 AM
No longer making the penny doesn’t make cents.
Even though I'm in show business, I'm just a regular guy.
I hire someone to put my pants on one leg at a time.
I hire someone to put my pants on one leg at a time.
November 12, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Even though I'm in show business, I'm just a regular guy.
I hire someone to put my pants on one leg at a time.
I hire someone to put my pants on one leg at a time.
I love my mom but she is not good with technology.
One time she tried to download an app and was clinically dead for 11 minutes.
One time she tried to download an app and was clinically dead for 11 minutes.
November 11, 2025 at 8:07 PM
I love my mom but she is not good with technology.
One time she tried to download an app and was clinically dead for 11 minutes.
One time she tried to download an app and was clinically dead for 11 minutes.
We did it everyone. We beat the woke deep state!
November 7, 2025 at 7:19 PM
We did it everyone. We beat the woke deep state!
I knew General Mills when he was just a Sargent.
November 6, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I knew General Mills when he was just a Sargent.
Being childless, I realize I'll never experience the feeling of holding my newborn son, watching him grow up, and blaming me for how his life turned out.
November 5, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Being childless, I realize I'll never experience the feeling of holding my newborn son, watching him grow up, and blaming me for how his life turned out.
“… but the disparity of feeling it in the lower section…”
November 5, 2025 at 3:01 AM
“… but the disparity of feeling it in the lower section…”
Hmm, that's weird. Nonstop grifting didn't lower people's grocery bills.
November 4, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Hmm, that's weird. Nonstop grifting didn't lower people's grocery bills.
Hey #LA, although I'm not on this particular show, I'm delighted to share that #BoobieTrap is back! Scot Nery and the gang will definitely bring all the tricks and treats tomorrow (10/29)! Search: BOOBIETRAP LA online and get your tickets now! #boobietrap
October 28, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Hey #LA, although I'm not on this particular show, I'm delighted to share that #BoobieTrap is back! Scot Nery and the gang will definitely bring all the tricks and treats tomorrow (10/29)! Search: BOOBIETRAP LA online and get your tickets now! #boobietrap
Dance like everyone is watching.
October 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Dance like everyone is watching.
Reposted by Matt Knudsen
I can’t believe I’m watching interviews of city mayors talking about how they are coordinating with other mayors to discuss how to protect their residents FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
I know we are “used to it” but it is absolutely insane
I know we are “used to it” but it is absolutely insane
October 1, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I can’t believe I’m watching interviews of city mayors talking about how they are coordinating with other mayors to discuss how to protect their residents FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
I know we are “used to it” but it is absolutely insane
I know we are “used to it” but it is absolutely insane
Reposted by Matt Knudsen
Senior officers, entrusted to manage complex military operations, were summoned from around the world.
They got a lecture on fitness and grooming standards.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/30/u...
They got a lecture on fitness and grooming standards.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/30/u...
A Novice Defense Secretary Lectures the Brass on What It Takes to Win
www.nytimes.com
September 30, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Senior officers, entrusted to manage complex military operations, were summoned from around the world.
They got a lecture on fitness and grooming standards.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/30/u...
They got a lecture on fitness and grooming standards.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/30/u...