Guys, we need to figure out a better way to teach people how to use apostrophes. Whatever we’re doing now is not working.

He died as he lived, clicking “Forgot password,” then checking his inbox for a code, then putting in that code, then setting up two-step verification, and then waiting for the text message that doesn’t come, and then calling the 800 number, and then downloading an authenticator app, and dying.

The more times you say “Luigi Mangione” out loud, the less it sounds like an actual name. The semantic satiation struggle is REAL.

Gotta say, when someone gives me their email addy and it’s Hotmail, I’m automatically more interested in them as a person. It’s like, “what exactly is your story and why are you like this?”

on “Wonderful Christmastime,” Sir Paul McCartney set out to make a timeless christmas classic and also to figure out what every button on his synthesizer did, and he absolutely succeeded at one of those things

Welp, better get to it.

*slaps knees while getting out of bed*

The fresh horrors aren’t just going to face themselves.

Wishing you all strong coffee and an extra dose of motivation on this Supermonday.

Sunday night on a long weekend is such a chill time. Grateful for quiet, for love, for Christmas tree lights, and for puppies.

This is Rosie. Every one of her molecules is at least 40% joy. When the world starts doing its thing where everything looks awful, it’s super important to have a Rosie around to balance your perspective.

Post-TG me being proud that I really didn’t eat THAT much yesterday.

Performance marketing > Performative marketing

…especially in wealth management.

All. The. Food.

Look, if cranberries can be weird and bitter and still liked by roughly half the people at Thanksgiving dinner, then so can you!

I am digging this platform but wondering why 90% of my feed is cat and raccoon-based content. Not a complaint. Just wondering what it is the algorithm sees in me that makes it want to show me only feral animals.

Happy Inventive Vegetable Sidedish Day.

(I’d say happy turkey day, but turkey is meh at best. This holiday is about innovation with Brussels sprouts.)

I’ve been informed by a teenage girl that my outfit is “giving semi-chic, could-be-hot librarian.” So that is the most specific non-compliment I’ve ever received.

Serving sizes on ice cream defeat the purpose of ice cream. The appropriate serving size is “until you’re not sad anymore.”