I don't see the problem: someone else is fixing my production outage and taking all the blame to boot. Why would you want to insource that?

Actors and presenters aren't being trained to speak clearly and loudly anymore. As you said, everyone just mumbles. Probably because they're afraid of sounding like a cheesy last-century announcer. That we actually understood.

In Teams: open the ‘join meeting’, window, wait until it mutes your mic because four people are in the meeting, then immediately smash that join button to casually slide in with the crowd 👌🏻