ChefMagenta
@magentakoru.bsky.social
Hello! Chef. Leftie. Hammer. Skater. Sussex by the sea. No Terfs/Transphobes please. She/her.
It's not my birthday today 😕
Also not so recently single. Form a queue, lads.
It's not my birthday today 😕
Also not so recently single. Form a queue, lads.
Been trying out tinder. When it comes to red flags I have so many I might as well be the Soviet army.
November 14, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Been trying out tinder. When it comes to red flags I have so many I might as well be the Soviet army.
Reposted by ChefMagenta
Having a bath please RT.
November 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Having a bath please RT.
Reposted by ChefMagenta
November 13, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Breaking news!
Might do some lego tonight.
Might do some lego tonight.
November 13, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Breaking news!
Might do some lego tonight.
Might do some lego tonight.
Those of you straight guys who are on dating apps and in your 50s and 60s, what is with all the gym and motorbike pictures? Do you really think women want to see that?? It's wild.
Show me a picture of you with your dog. Or your cat. Or your teddy bear. That's what women want.
Show me a picture of you with your dog. Or your cat. Or your teddy bear. That's what women want.
November 12, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Those of you straight guys who are on dating apps and in your 50s and 60s, what is with all the gym and motorbike pictures? Do you really think women want to see that?? It's wild.
Show me a picture of you with your dog. Or your cat. Or your teddy bear. That's what women want.
Show me a picture of you with your dog. Or your cat. Or your teddy bear. That's what women want.
Waiting on a teams meeting that didn't appear to be happening. Sigh.
Monopoly anyone?
Monopoly anyone?
November 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Waiting on a teams meeting that didn't appear to be happening. Sigh.
Monopoly anyone?
Monopoly anyone?
Arranged a pick up from Royal mail today. They clearly didn't even look at the instructions as to where the parcel would be! Just messaged to say they couldn't pick up because no one was home?
What's the point of asking for instructions if you can't even read them??
What's the point of asking for instructions if you can't even read them??
November 10, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Arranged a pick up from Royal mail today. They clearly didn't even look at the instructions as to where the parcel would be! Just messaged to say they couldn't pick up because no one was home?
What's the point of asking for instructions if you can't even read them??
What's the point of asking for instructions if you can't even read them??
Been to see my son in his flash new flat in King's Cross it has a concierge, a screen room, communal work spaces and a communal games room. It also has this view.
I think he is what is known as a "jammy bastard".
I think he is what is known as a "jammy bastard".
November 8, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Been to see my son in his flash new flat in King's Cross it has a concierge, a screen room, communal work spaces and a communal games room. It also has this view.
I think he is what is known as a "jammy bastard".
I think he is what is known as a "jammy bastard".
Just had the annual email from the secondary school asking us to please make sure the kids wear coats to school in bad weather.
I had to laugh. I've had this email every year since 2007. It is virtually impossible to get a teenager to wear a coat.
I had to laugh. I've had this email every year since 2007. It is virtually impossible to get a teenager to wear a coat.
November 8, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Just had the annual email from the secondary school asking us to please make sure the kids wear coats to school in bad weather.
I had to laugh. I've had this email every year since 2007. It is virtually impossible to get a teenager to wear a coat.
I had to laugh. I've had this email every year since 2007. It is virtually impossible to get a teenager to wear a coat.
Absolutely but also how on earth is James Watson still alive? (till today). I assumed these folk had all died decades ago.
It’s a good day to look up Rosalind Franklin.
November 7, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Absolutely but also how on earth is James Watson still alive? (till today). I assumed these folk had all died decades ago.
I first saw ET at a friends birthday party in 1982, on a fuzzy pirated black and white video. Never seen it since so I decided to watch it again.
My take aways:
1) less Uranus jokes than I remember
2) if that's what parenting was like in the 80s, I'm surprised we all survived.
My take aways:
1) less Uranus jokes than I remember
2) if that's what parenting was like in the 80s, I'm surprised we all survived.
November 7, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I first saw ET at a friends birthday party in 1982, on a fuzzy pirated black and white video. Never seen it since so I decided to watch it again.
My take aways:
1) less Uranus jokes than I remember
2) if that's what parenting was like in the 80s, I'm surprised we all survived.
My take aways:
1) less Uranus jokes than I remember
2) if that's what parenting was like in the 80s, I'm surprised we all survived.
This is exactly how I looked when I was in labour with number 3 and the ex decided to faint because he's squeamish and all the medical staff rushed over to him.
incredible photo that's definitely worth at least 1,000 words from Andrew Harnik of Getty
November 6, 2025 at 7:00 PM
This is exactly how I looked when I was in labour with number 3 and the ex decided to faint because he's squeamish and all the medical staff rushed over to him.
Have been in a silent war with m' colleague over where a box file should live. Today I won!
a cat is dancing in front of a mirror and saying yay !!!
ALT: a cat is dancing in front of a mirror and saying yay !!!
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Have been in a silent war with m' colleague over where a box file should live. Today I won!
Reposted by ChefMagenta
Did you know Sussex has its own dialect? Once widely spoken, it's mostly gone the way of the dinosaurs.
⠀⠀
But we think it's time to bring it back.
We're starting with...Dumbledore! Not a wisened wizard but old Sussex for bumblebee!
📷 Jan Knowlson
⠀⠀
But we think it's time to bring it back.
We're starting with...Dumbledore! Not a wisened wizard but old Sussex for bumblebee!
📷 Jan Knowlson
November 6, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Did you know Sussex has its own dialect? Once widely spoken, it's mostly gone the way of the dinosaurs.
⠀⠀
But we think it's time to bring it back.
We're starting with...Dumbledore! Not a wisened wizard but old Sussex for bumblebee!
📷 Jan Knowlson
⠀⠀
But we think it's time to bring it back.
We're starting with...Dumbledore! Not a wisened wizard but old Sussex for bumblebee!
📷 Jan Knowlson
I've just found out a friend my age (57) has to have heart surgery in January. This getting older lark isn't fun is it?
November 5, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I've just found out a friend my age (57) has to have heart surgery in January. This getting older lark isn't fun is it?
Reposted by ChefMagenta
I hope someone is writing "12 Hangry Men" about the sandwich guy jury
November 4, 2025 at 8:06 PM
I hope someone is writing "12 Hangry Men" about the sandwich guy jury
Reposted by ChefMagenta
There ant no place like Sussex,⠀⠀
Until ye goos above,⠀⠀
For Sussex will be Sussex,⠀⠀
And Sussex won't be druv."⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Happy #BonfireNight! If taking part in tonight's festivities, have fun and take care. ⠀
⠀
📷 Peter Warren ⠀
⠀
#SouthDowns
Until ye goos above,⠀⠀
For Sussex will be Sussex,⠀⠀
And Sussex won't be druv."⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Happy #BonfireNight! If taking part in tonight's festivities, have fun and take care. ⠀
⠀
📷 Peter Warren ⠀
⠀
#SouthDowns
November 5, 2025 at 5:00 AM
There ant no place like Sussex,⠀⠀
Until ye goos above,⠀⠀
For Sussex will be Sussex,⠀⠀
And Sussex won't be druv."⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Happy #BonfireNight! If taking part in tonight's festivities, have fun and take care. ⠀
⠀
📷 Peter Warren ⠀
⠀
#SouthDowns
Until ye goos above,⠀⠀
For Sussex will be Sussex,⠀⠀
And Sussex won't be druv."⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Happy #BonfireNight! If taking part in tonight's festivities, have fun and take care. ⠀
⠀
📷 Peter Warren ⠀
⠀
#SouthDowns
Just ordered 6 thermal tops and 5 pairs of knickers from M&S if anyone was wondering how middle aged I was feeling today.
November 3, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Just ordered 6 thermal tops and 5 pairs of knickers from M&S if anyone was wondering how middle aged I was feeling today.
Evening all. We made Christmas cakes today. The kitchen smells amazing. Now just waiting to go and stretch and relax for an hour before I go home.
Sometimes this job isn't totally shit.
Having said that, I think the students were on speed today. They were all manic.
Sometimes this job isn't totally shit.
Having said that, I think the students were on speed today. They were all manic.
November 3, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Evening all. We made Christmas cakes today. The kitchen smells amazing. Now just waiting to go and stretch and relax for an hour before I go home.
Sometimes this job isn't totally shit.
Having said that, I think the students were on speed today. They were all manic.
Sometimes this job isn't totally shit.
Having said that, I think the students were on speed today. They were all manic.
Brilliant as always.
Japan's "Mundane Halloween" costume contest is back!
Each year website DailyPortalZ holds a contest where people dress up as something super duper ordinary.
Here's a thread of some of my favorites from the 2025 contest!
#MundaneHalloween
Each year website DailyPortalZ holds a contest where people dress up as something super duper ordinary.
Here's a thread of some of my favorites from the 2025 contest!
#MundaneHalloween
November 2, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Brilliant as always.