Alison Pilling
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madamealiiswriting.bsky.social
Alison Pilling
@madamealiiswriting.bsky.social
Writer and Host of The Sex Lectures.

Ali's World - daily paragraphs written with love, beauty, & intimacy

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Compromise

Not compromising oneself for love is hard. I wonder if at least acknowledging where we do, without rancour, allows genuine generosity and expansiveness rather than martyrdom? Setting aside one’s own preferences is a gift...

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December 8, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Knowing

There’s a difference between a dream and an inner knowing. That latter took longer to recognise and trust.

sexschoolforgrownups.com/2025/12/7/kn...
December 7, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Content

In a world of harshness, how do we promote personal kindness? Challenging the big-swinging-dick culture of zillionaire oneupmanship, how do we break free from the prevailing competitive system, being content to make our small...

sexschoolforgrownups.com/2025/12/6/co...
December 6, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Warmth

If subtlety has as much value as intensity, how do I appreciate it? After a lifetime of enjoying the rush of risk and, to some extent, the uncertainty of excitement, it’s time, really time, to value quieter experiences...

sexschoolforgrownups.com/2025/12/5/wa...
December 5, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Ephemeral

I’m a fan of equanimity. If I don’t ‘feel all the feelings’, does that make me shallow, numb or not fully living? Not at all. It means not getting jerked around by ephemerality. I’ll live with the emotional middle ground until necessary...

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December 4, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Betterment

I didn’t get the memo early on that the dark and difficult are as essential as the easy and light. I thought life was a one way trip to betterment. Dark times show the scope for both acceptance and change. Now the easier times feel like a...

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December 3, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Alongside

I love days of deciding moment to moment what to do. A rare day without a plan, meeting or list. Waiting for an impulse or a want to arise. Enjoying the space of time on my hands rather than mistaking it for boredom or inertia...

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December 2, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Bubble

Self care is a phrase I can spell, yet have little concept of. Maybe I should try a bubble bath. In my previous cash-rich corporate days, I used to love spending a small fortune on beautifully packaged products and cosmetics in Space NK...

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December 1, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Notebooks

There’s a slight guilty pleasure of having the house to myself. I can mess up the table with my notebooks, have the cups colour-coordinated. I’m discovering the guilty pleasure of lighting the fire...

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November 30, 2025 at 7:00 AM
First

I see The Sex Lectures and Mandala House as essentially the same. Someone had to go first. Yet they came out of what I needed or long wanted. It hasn’t taken much courage, but felt natural. Watching obstacles disappear has been extraordinary...

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November 29, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Lane

Staying in one’s own lane is an energy saver. While still acting to effect changes in our own lives, for the causes we can contribute to. With the energy you have, how do you want to use it? Not exactly ‘let them’, but I’m going over here instead...

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November 28, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Preconceptions

I’m obsessed with the Enneagram. So I see the world through personality rather than gender. Trying not to know you before I know you is a challenge.

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November 27, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Hun

There’s much I don’t like about modern marketing, though that’s an essay rather than a paragraph. Today’s grouch is against overuse of terms of endearment. Hun, lovely, darlings, babe, mate, sweetheart to list but a few...

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November 26, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Kick

I love kicking the can down the road. It’s not really procrastination. But if I don’t have to decide now, it can wait.

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November 25, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Mechanics

The body isn’t a machine like a motorbike. It’s not a question of twiddling this or loosening that, pressing a button to go faster or working out where the spark plugs are. On the receiving end of a mechanical mind...

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November 24, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Uncertainties

Being good with not knowing feels like a diplomatic practice. ‘I don’t know’, ‘we don’t know’, ‘no one knows’ allows uncertainty. Surety is elusive, planning ahead often ineffective; looking round corners that may not exist...

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November 23, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Unfair

It’s wondrous to think you’ve manifested when you have what you want. What about when Big Sky sugar daddy withholds what you want and makes you beg? When you're on your knees, and you didn’t want to have manifested...

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November 22, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Trust

Trust is a decision. In yourself, in life, in others. Yes, people may disappoint you. Yes, you’ll be naive or fail to have strong enough boundaries, and yes, there’ll be inevitable life blows. Yet a trust in inherent goodness...

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November 21, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Complain

Gosh I’m bored of my inner voice that loves to complain. "This isn’t good enough, that’s not right, I’m cold, I'm tired, I’m scared.” Without brightsiding, I don’t want to ruin my own existence with pettiness, cynicism or fear...

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November 20, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Heaven

Entering the temple, walking slowly in warmth and candlelight, we were invited to stand opposite another. In Heaven we were asked to take it in turns to be God or one of God's new creations...

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November 19, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Courage

It takes courage to exist, to put our heads above the parapet to share what we know, express what we believe, and put our ideas out into the world. What’s worse - the risk of failure, financial jeopardy or feeling futile?

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November 18, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Alleviate

Let’s have some deep fun and learning with power dynamics. They’re unconsciously here already. How do we play, and put them to use in the service of alleviating dull routines? How can you introduce the kinky-quicky into domesticity or banality?

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November 17, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Deflect

Deflecting blame is easier than choosing empathy. Thinly veiled digs, the unfunny joke, unsolicited advice aka criticism, and dismissing pushback as oversensitive, are rarely helpful. Finding fault can be easier than admitting culpability...

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November 16, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Household

I have a head of household fantasy. A month of men in the house, fixing, fettling, digging, painting, asking me what needs doing. Working together to serve the mistress that is Mandala. I’m simply the Madame...

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November 15, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Formula

The push-pull of our belief that there's better can avoid entrapment, yet for how long do you want to have the same first date over and over again? Different person, similar pattern. We’re up against ourselves. It’s a great formula for...

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November 14, 2025 at 7:01 AM