@m38747919.bsky.social
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I'd never get a chip implanted in my brain for fear of seeing funeral home commercials as I'm dying.
November 27, 2025 at 11:40 AM
I'd never get a chip implanted in my brain for fear of seeing funeral home commercials as I'm dying.
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FedEx guy just pulled up pulled some big boxes off his truck and then put them back in and drove off so now I know how my dog feels when I come back in because I forgot my keys
October 17, 2025 at 4:38 AM
FedEx guy just pulled up pulled some big boxes off his truck and then put them back in and drove off so now I know how my dog feels when I come back in because I forgot my keys
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Attention all shoppers: your store rewards program is now tied to your performance at scanning and bagging your groceries in the self-checkout line
November 8, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Attention all shoppers: your store rewards program is now tied to your performance at scanning and bagging your groceries in the self-checkout line
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football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it
November 9, 2025 at 7:55 PM
football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it
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Sometimes, when I can't sleep I imagine something living undiscovered in the deep ocean rising up and defeating AI at the last moment.
November 4, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Sometimes, when I can't sleep I imagine something living undiscovered in the deep ocean rising up and defeating AI at the last moment.
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As you go to work today to start another week, it may help to remember that Skeletor was often thwarted by his own inept henchman too
October 27, 2025 at 11:10 AM
As you go to work today to start another week, it may help to remember that Skeletor was often thwarted by his own inept henchman too
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as far as apocalypses go this one has the best alternative milk choices
November 3, 2025 at 11:58 AM
as far as apocalypses go this one has the best alternative milk choices
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every cat has main character syndrome and every dog is super stoked to be player two
November 2, 2025 at 6:38 AM
every cat has main character syndrome and every dog is super stoked to be player two
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(Borat singing Talk Talk) it’s my wife
October 30, 2025 at 2:00 PM
(Borat singing Talk Talk) it’s my wife
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This is the ad Donald Trump woke up furious about.
Would be a shame if it went viral.
Would be a shame if it went viral.
October 24, 2025 at 12:59 PM
This is the ad Donald Trump woke up furious about.
Would be a shame if it went viral.
Would be a shame if it went viral.
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There's a secret group of people walking among us that keep Clamato in business.
October 23, 2025 at 3:36 AM
There's a secret group of people walking among us that keep Clamato in business.
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There should be a WebMD for pastimes where you type in your new hobby and it tells you if it's a legitimate interest or if you're just hyperfixating.
October 23, 2025 at 9:42 AM
There should be a WebMD for pastimes where you type in your new hobby and it tells you if it's a legitimate interest or if you're just hyperfixating.
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Do you think John Wick is a training program for Neo
October 20, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Do you think John Wick is a training program for Neo
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No wonder Apollo 13 nearly crashed, Forrest Gump was flying it
October 20, 2025 at 10:30 PM
No wonder Apollo 13 nearly crashed, Forrest Gump was flying it
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Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work
December 1, 2024 at 5:04 PM
Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work
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Never show up empty-handed, ya know? Anyway, it's a beautiful home. Hope you guys like feeder crickets.
October 2, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Never show up empty-handed, ya know? Anyway, it's a beautiful home. Hope you guys like feeder crickets.
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Somewhere in America, a young Hispanic girl is hiding in an attic writing a diary.
October 4, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Somewhere in America, a young Hispanic girl is hiding in an attic writing a diary.
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I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
October 4, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
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what doesn’t kill you, texts you 6 months later
September 27, 2025 at 12:16 PM
what doesn’t kill you, texts you 6 months later
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you can get out of anything just
by looking through a window and
yelling MY CAR and running out
by looking through a window and
yelling MY CAR and running out
September 26, 2025 at 11:11 PM
you can get out of anything just
by looking through a window and
yelling MY CAR and running out
by looking through a window and
yelling MY CAR and running out
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I miss my 50-year streak of not knowing who the Secretary of Health is or anything about them.
September 26, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I miss my 50-year streak of not knowing who the Secretary of Health is or anything about them.
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My floaters are syncing up nicely with my tinnitus so there’s my afternoon entertainment
September 13, 2025 at 7:06 PM
My floaters are syncing up nicely with my tinnitus so there’s my afternoon entertainment
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Virtual Boy should be Zuckerberg’s nickname honestly lol
Virtual Boy games are coming to Nintendo Switch Online
Virtual Boy games are coming to Nintendo Switch Online
Black-and-red all over.
buff.ly
September 12, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Virtual Boy should be Zuckerberg’s nickname honestly lol
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Cop: have you been drinking?
Me: had about 23 Michelob Ultras
Cop: alright, so no
Me: had about 23 Michelob Ultras
Cop: alright, so no
September 12, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Cop: have you been drinking?
Me: had about 23 Michelob Ultras
Cop: alright, so no
Me: had about 23 Michelob Ultras
Cop: alright, so no