me while my editor reads a restaurant inspection saying 'temperatures in the refrigerator above 45 degrees'…
“That’s not cool.”
“That’s not cool.”
August 7, 2025 at 12:18 AM
me while my editor reads a restaurant inspection saying 'temperatures in the refrigerator above 45 degrees'…
“That’s not cool.”
“That’s not cool.”
Feb 23, 2017
my attempts to fill the stapler indicate i might not be as gifted a lover as i thought i was.
my attempts to fill the stapler indicate i might not be as gifted a lover as i thought i was.
December 31, 2024 at 5:51 PM
Feb 23, 2017
my attempts to fill the stapler indicate i might not be as gifted a lover as i thought i was.
my attempts to fill the stapler indicate i might not be as gifted a lover as i thought i was.
Oct 5, 2017
Only 2 types of people who take phone messages: those who say you're away from your desk & those who tell strangers you're in the bathroom.
Only 2 types of people who take phone messages: those who say you're away from your desk & those who tell strangers you're in the bathroom.
December 31, 2024 at 5:50 PM
Oct 5, 2017
Only 2 types of people who take phone messages: those who say you're away from your desk & those who tell strangers you're in the bathroom.
Only 2 types of people who take phone messages: those who say you're away from your desk & those who tell strangers you're in the bathroom.
May 23, 2018
Going back to re-read a book you own and finding that it is no longer there (probably loaned out and forgotten) is a special kind of nervous panic.
Going back to re-read a book you own and finding that it is no longer there (probably loaned out and forgotten) is a special kind of nervous panic.
December 31, 2024 at 5:49 PM
May 23, 2018
Going back to re-read a book you own and finding that it is no longer there (probably loaned out and forgotten) is a special kind of nervous panic.
Going back to re-read a book you own and finding that it is no longer there (probably loaned out and forgotten) is a special kind of nervous panic.
Jul 24, 2018
Call I received about a delivery: woman's voice - 'Your delivery is scheduled for...' man's voice - 'The system is experiencing technical difficulty. Please try your call again.' Dude, let her finish.
Call I received about a delivery: woman's voice - 'Your delivery is scheduled for...' man's voice - 'The system is experiencing technical difficulty. Please try your call again.' Dude, let her finish.
December 31, 2024 at 5:49 PM
Jul 24, 2018
Call I received about a delivery: woman's voice - 'Your delivery is scheduled for...' man's voice - 'The system is experiencing technical difficulty. Please try your call again.' Dude, let her finish.
Call I received about a delivery: woman's voice - 'Your delivery is scheduled for...' man's voice - 'The system is experiencing technical difficulty. Please try your call again.' Dude, let her finish.
Aug 17, 2018
Damn, auto-fill crushing me. Trying to type 'insect' and after four letters it suggests 'insecure' so we're all done here.
Damn, auto-fill crushing me. Trying to type 'insect' and after four letters it suggests 'insecure' so we're all done here.
December 31, 2024 at 5:49 PM
Aug 17, 2018
Damn, auto-fill crushing me. Trying to type 'insect' and after four letters it suggests 'insecure' so we're all done here.
Damn, auto-fill crushing me. Trying to type 'insect' and after four letters it suggests 'insecure' so we're all done here.
Nov 27, 2020
Defund Sting's solo career
Defund Sting's solo career
December 31, 2024 at 5:48 PM
Nov 27, 2020
Defund Sting's solo career
Defund Sting's solo career
Jan 17, 2021
Cobra Chiropractor
Cobra Chiropractor
December 31, 2024 at 5:48 PM
Jan 17, 2021
Cobra Chiropractor
Cobra Chiropractor
Jan 24, 2021
Just finished Season One of Raised by Wolves. Not one wolf. One Star.
Just finished Season One of Raised by Wolves. Not one wolf. One Star.
December 31, 2024 at 5:48 PM
Jan 24, 2021
Just finished Season One of Raised by Wolves. Not one wolf. One Star.
Just finished Season One of Raised by Wolves. Not one wolf. One Star.
Feb 20, 2021
Them: Less than ten Hitlers.
A grammar Nazi: Fuhrer.
Them: Less than ten Hitlers.
A grammar Nazi: Fuhrer.
December 31, 2024 at 5:48 PM
Feb 20, 2021
Them: Less than ten Hitlers.
A grammar Nazi: Fuhrer.
Them: Less than ten Hitlers.
A grammar Nazi: Fuhrer.
Feb 24, 2022
iZombie and iCarly take place in the same universe.
iZombie and iCarly take place in the same universe.
December 31, 2024 at 5:47 PM
Feb 24, 2022
iZombie and iCarly take place in the same universe.
iZombie and iCarly take place in the same universe.
May 13, 2022
Rewatching 'John Adams' and seeing Laura Linney with a lot of 18th century sass. I'm dubbing her role Oldzark
Rewatching 'John Adams' and seeing Laura Linney with a lot of 18th century sass. I'm dubbing her role Oldzark
December 31, 2024 at 5:47 PM
May 13, 2022
Rewatching 'John Adams' and seeing Laura Linney with a lot of 18th century sass. I'm dubbing her role Oldzark
Rewatching 'John Adams' and seeing Laura Linney with a lot of 18th century sass. I'm dubbing her role Oldzark
Jun 4, 2022
I'm affable af. I'm af-fable.
I'm affable af. I'm af-fable.
December 31, 2024 at 5:47 PM
Jun 4, 2022
I'm affable af. I'm af-fable.
I'm affable af. I'm af-fable.
Oct 26, 2023
While covering a game I hear scoreboard operator lamenting he can't use strobe effect on stadium lights per high school postseason rules. "The PC Police strike again." Hoped he flubbed the line & meant "fun police" because epileptic seizures are outside PC Police jurisdiction.
While covering a game I hear scoreboard operator lamenting he can't use strobe effect on stadium lights per high school postseason rules. "The PC Police strike again." Hoped he flubbed the line & meant "fun police" because epileptic seizures are outside PC Police jurisdiction.
December 31, 2024 at 5:47 PM
Oct 26, 2023
While covering a game I hear scoreboard operator lamenting he can't use strobe effect on stadium lights per high school postseason rules. "The PC Police strike again." Hoped he flubbed the line & meant "fun police" because epileptic seizures are outside PC Police jurisdiction.
While covering a game I hear scoreboard operator lamenting he can't use strobe effect on stadium lights per high school postseason rules. "The PC Police strike again." Hoped he flubbed the line & meant "fun police" because epileptic seizures are outside PC Police jurisdiction.
Nov 11, 2023
When Frankenstein made the bride of Frankenstein, he was a female body builder
When Frankenstein made the bride of Frankenstein, he was a female body builder
December 31, 2024 at 5:46 PM
Nov 11, 2023
When Frankenstein made the bride of Frankenstein, he was a female body builder
When Frankenstein made the bride of Frankenstein, he was a female body builder
Nov 21, 2023
People put me on to a show and I get into it and catch up with three seasons in a week and then want to talk about the new episode and they're like 'Oh, I haven't watched the last two yet.' That should be a war crime.
People put me on to a show and I get into it and catch up with three seasons in a week and then want to talk about the new episode and they're like 'Oh, I haven't watched the last two yet.' That should be a war crime.
December 31, 2024 at 5:46 PM
Nov 21, 2023
People put me on to a show and I get into it and catch up with three seasons in a week and then want to talk about the new episode and they're like 'Oh, I haven't watched the last two yet.' That should be a war crime.
People put me on to a show and I get into it and catch up with three seasons in a week and then want to talk about the new episode and they're like 'Oh, I haven't watched the last two yet.' That should be a war crime.
(Apr 18)
Passed a woman on the road today with a 'Marine Mom' bumper sticker. But she was a liar, because she was obviously on land.
Passed a woman on the road today with a 'Marine Mom' bumper sticker. But she was a liar, because she was obviously on land.
December 31, 2024 at 5:46 PM
(Apr 18)
Passed a woman on the road today with a 'Marine Mom' bumper sticker. But she was a liar, because she was obviously on land.
Passed a woman on the road today with a 'Marine Mom' bumper sticker. But she was a liar, because she was obviously on land.
(May 24, 2024)
Fight Club is the sequel to Breakfast Club
Fight Club is the sequel to Breakfast Club
December 31, 2024 at 5:45 PM
(May 24, 2024)
Fight Club is the sequel to Breakfast Club
Fight Club is the sequel to Breakfast Club
OK so I'm just going to post a batch of shorts posts from the other place here today as a final cleaning house of 2024. I present, the best posts I had there...
December 31, 2024 at 5:42 PM
OK so I'm just going to post a batch of shorts posts from the other place here today as a final cleaning house of 2024. I present, the best posts I had there...
[speaking into the mirror] "Do any of you rehearse social situations to be prepared?"
December 26, 2024 at 1:34 AM
[speaking into the mirror] "Do any of you rehearse social situations to be prepared?"