Loving BDSM
@lovingbdsm.bsky.social
We help kinksters have happy, healthy power exchange relationships by focusing on the reality of what being in a D/s dynamic can look like.
Hosted by John Brownstone (he/him) and Kayla Lords (she/her)
Find everything here: https://linktr.ee/lovingbdsm
Hosted by John Brownstone (he/him) and Kayla Lords (she/her)
Find everything here: https://linktr.ee/lovingbdsm
How to Achieve Your Kink Goals for 2026
This week, we're looking forward to 2026 to how to achieve some of the kink goals a lot of kinksters have (including us!). As always, you don't have to wait for an arbitrary date to work towards new goals. In this episode: We actually have a plan for the…
This week, we're looking forward to 2026 to how to achieve some of the kink goals a lot of kinksters have (including us!). As always, you don't have to wait for an arbitrary date to work towards new goals. In this episode: We actually have a plan for the…
How to Achieve Your Kink Goals for 2026
This week, we're looking forward to 2026 to how to achieve some of the kink goals a lot of kinksters have (including us!). As always, you don't have to wait for an arbitrary date to work towards new goals. In this episode: We actually have a plan for the month of December before we take our two week break for Christmas and New Year’s…
lovingbdsm.net
December 5, 2025 at 11:01 AM
How to Achieve Your Kink Goals for 2026
This week, we're looking forward to 2026 to how to achieve some of the kink goals a lot of kinksters have (including us!). As always, you don't have to wait for an arbitrary date to work towards new goals. In this episode: We actually have a plan for the…
This week, we're looking forward to 2026 to how to achieve some of the kink goals a lot of kinksters have (including us!). As always, you don't have to wait for an arbitrary date to work towards new goals. In this episode: We actually have a plan for the…
We're going live at 3pm ET today!
This week, let's talk about how to actually achieve some of your kinky goals for next year - or whenever you're ready to work on them.
youtube.com/live/qVF-l-L...
The video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week, let's talk about how to actually achieve some of your kinky goals for next year - or whenever you're ready to work on them.
youtube.com/live/qVF-l-L...
The video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
Planning Your Kink Goals for 2026
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
December 3, 2025 at 4:06 PM
We're going live at 3pm ET today!
This week, let's talk about how to actually achieve some of your kinky goals for next year - or whenever you're ready to work on them.
youtube.com/live/qVF-l-L...
The video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week, let's talk about how to actually achieve some of your kinky goals for next year - or whenever you're ready to work on them.
youtube.com/live/qVF-l-L...
The video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
We're going live tonight at 8pm ET because we aren't doing a regular episode this week. We expect to be bleary-eyed and delirious which should make this interesting, lol.
youtube.com/live/8U7ir6N...
youtube.com/live/8U7ir6N...
Thanksgiving Eve stream
We're bleary-eyed and delirious, but we're here.
Visit us at https://lovingbdsm.net
Find all of the sites we recommend here: https://lovingbdsm.net/recommended-products/
BlueSky: https://bsky.app/pr...
youtube.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:17 PM
We're going live tonight at 8pm ET because we aren't doing a regular episode this week. We expect to be bleary-eyed and delirious which should make this interesting, lol.
youtube.com/live/8U7ir6N...
youtube.com/live/8U7ir6N...
For this week only, we're not going to have a Monday Q&A episode or a Wednesday stream/Friday podcast episode.
We WILL go live on Wednesday night at 8pm ET for a chaotic, Thanksgiving Eve stream. No topic, just vibes. Hope you can join us!
We WILL go live on Wednesday night at 8pm ET for a chaotic, Thanksgiving Eve stream. No topic, just vibes. Hope you can join us!
November 24, 2025 at 5:25 PM
For this week only, we're not going to have a Monday Q&A episode or a Wednesday stream/Friday podcast episode.
We WILL go live on Wednesday night at 8pm ET for a chaotic, Thanksgiving Eve stream. No topic, just vibes. Hope you can join us!
We WILL go live on Wednesday night at 8pm ET for a chaotic, Thanksgiving Eve stream. No topic, just vibes. Hope you can join us!
You can thank YouTube and it's weirdness for the lack of topic this week, lol.
Plus we share some of the thoughtful and helpful comments we received on previous podcast episodes.
Plus we share some of the thoughtful and helpful comments we received on previous podcast episodes.
Bonus Section Episode
Even though YouTube doesn't impact the podcast, what they do to our channel does impact our plans. That's why this week's episode is a bonus section episode, lol. In this episode: Join us for our virtual munch this Friday, November 21 at 9:30pm ET. YouTube grounded us but we’re back! Responses we’ve received to last week’s episode on soft BDSM …
lovingbdsm.net
November 21, 2025 at 11:00 AM
You can thank YouTube and it's weirdness for the lack of topic this week, lol.
Plus we share some of the thoughtful and helpful comments we received on previous podcast episodes.
Plus we share some of the thoughtful and helpful comments we received on previous podcast episodes.
We're going live today, Wednesday, November 19 starting at 3pm ET.
This week we'll go over some of the thoughtful responses shared from recent episodes while also making this a bonus section episode.
youtube.com/live/AFI7GCL...
This week we'll go over some of the thoughtful responses shared from recent episodes while also making this a bonus section episode.
youtube.com/live/AFI7GCL...
We're just happy to be here | A bonus section stream
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
November 19, 2025 at 2:08 PM
We're going live today, Wednesday, November 19 starting at 3pm ET.
This week we'll go over some of the thoughtful responses shared from recent episodes while also making this a bonus section episode.
youtube.com/live/AFI7GCL...
This week we'll go over some of the thoughtful responses shared from recent episodes while also making this a bonus section episode.
youtube.com/live/AFI7GCL...
After trying to do some research on this term, I (Kayla) am left with a question: WTF is soft BDSM?
It's definitely used by some kinksters but trying to piece together a clear, consistent definition and origin wasn't easy.
It's definitely used by some kinksters but trying to piece together a clear, consistent definition and origin wasn't easy.
WTF is Soft BDSM?
Trying to figure out what "soft BDSM" even is took us on a journey. Let's talk about it. In this episode: Our Holiday Cricket tier - and holiday party sign up - ends on Saturday, November 15! Disclaimer: We don’t have to like a term for it to be valid for someone else Why does this even matter? Common understanding of terms…
lovingbdsm.net
November 14, 2025 at 11:01 AM
After trying to do some research on this term, I (Kayla) am left with a question: WTF is soft BDSM?
It's definitely used by some kinksters but trying to piece together a clear, consistent definition and origin wasn't easy.
It's definitely used by some kinksters but trying to piece together a clear, consistent definition and origin wasn't easy.
It's Wednesday, so yes, we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week's topic is on the concept of soft BDSM.
youtube.com/live/0AfyDcj...
If you can't watch the live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week's topic is on the concept of soft BDSM.
youtube.com/live/0AfyDcj...
If you can't watch the live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
WTF is Soft BDSM??
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
November 12, 2025 at 4:41 PM
It's Wednesday, so yes, we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week's topic is on the concept of soft BDSM.
youtube.com/live/0AfyDcj...
If you can't watch the live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week's topic is on the concept of soft BDSM.
youtube.com/live/0AfyDcj...
If you can't watch the live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week, we share our thoughts on soft kink shaming, play vs abuse, heartbreak and breakups, and more.
BDSM Reddit Response
This week, we're responding to situations shared on the kinky side of Reddit! In this episode: Join us through Patreon for a special holiday tier and get extra perks! Soft kink shaming Got dumped by my Dom who lied to me and his wife for three years The difference between intense play and abuse What is the "normal" amount of scenes to have in kink?
lovingbdsm.net
November 7, 2025 at 11:01 AM
This week, we share our thoughts on soft kink shaming, play vs abuse, heartbreak and breakups, and more.
It's Wednesday, and yes, of course, we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week, we're responding to posts from the kinky side of Reddit.
youtube.com/live/fRJfC1F...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday!
This week, we're responding to posts from the kinky side of Reddit.
youtube.com/live/fRJfC1F...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday!
BDSM Reddit Response
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
November 5, 2025 at 6:24 PM
It's Wednesday, and yes, of course, we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week, we're responding to posts from the kinky side of Reddit.
youtube.com/live/fRJfC1F...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday!
This week, we're responding to posts from the kinky side of Reddit.
youtube.com/live/fRJfC1F...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday!
The term "love maps" used for non-kinky relationships, primarily marriages. We wondered if it could be applied to power exchange, too.
Love Maps and Power Exchange
The idea of love maps comes from the Gottman Institute in their studies on relationships, specifically marriage. We wondered if it could be applied to power exchange, too. In this episode: Join us through Patreon for a special holiday tier and get extra perks! This week's trans-affirming resource is QueerMed. Who developed the concept of a love map? Dr. Gottman from the Gottman Institute…
lovingbdsm.net
October 31, 2025 at 10:00 AM
The term "love maps" used for non-kinky relationships, primarily marriages. We wondered if it could be applied to power exchange, too.
It's Wednesday and we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week we're talking about the concept of love maps and if/how they might work with power exchange.
youtube.com/live/nf_0zth...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast comes out on Friday.
This week we're talking about the concept of love maps and if/how they might work with power exchange.
youtube.com/live/nf_0zth...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast comes out on Friday.
Love Maps and Power Exchange
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
October 29, 2025 at 2:42 PM
It's Wednesday and we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week we're talking about the concept of love maps and if/how they might work with power exchange.
youtube.com/live/nf_0zth...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast comes out on Friday.
This week we're talking about the concept of love maps and if/how they might work with power exchange.
youtube.com/live/nf_0zth...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available and the audio podcast comes out on Friday.
A kinkster asked for our take on D/s, domestic discipline, and trad wives. So we compare and contrast them in this week's episode.
Power Exchange vs Domestic Discipline vs Trad Wives
This week's episode is from a question a kinkster sent to us. They wanted to know our take on power exchange, domestic discipline, and trad wives. In this episode: It's the 5th Anniversary sale for the Kinkery! Join us for holidays on Patreon. Send in your questions for our Q&A episodes. This week's trans affirming resource is Trans Life Line.
lovingbdsm.net
October 24, 2025 at 10:00 AM
A kinkster asked for our take on D/s, domestic discipline, and trad wives. So we compare and contrast them in this week's episode.
It's Wednesday and we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week's topic is from a question sent to us. A kinkster wanted to know our take on power exchange vs domestic discipline vs trad wives so that's what we're talking about.
youtube.com/live/iuwnz_K...
This week's topic is from a question sent to us. A kinkster wanted to know our take on power exchange vs domestic discipline vs trad wives so that's what we're talking about.
youtube.com/live/iuwnz_K...
Power Exchange vs Domestic Discipline vs Trad Wives
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
October 22, 2025 at 3:55 PM
It's Wednesday and we're going live at 3pm ET.
This week's topic is from a question sent to us. A kinkster wanted to know our take on power exchange vs domestic discipline vs trad wives so that's what we're talking about.
youtube.com/live/iuwnz_K...
This week's topic is from a question sent to us. A kinkster wanted to know our take on power exchange vs domestic discipline vs trad wives so that's what we're talking about.
youtube.com/live/iuwnz_K...
This is not the first time we've discussed shame, but it's always a good conversation to have. It can and will show up in unexpected ways, including in your kink life.
Kayla shares her recent experience with shame that was unexpected.
Kayla shares her recent experience with shame that was unexpected.
Dealing with Shame in Kink
In this week's episode, I (Kayla) share a moment in kink where I realized I felt shame - which was a shock. Which brought me back to this conversation - the last time we discussed shame was in 2020. In this episode: Our monthly virtual munch is this Friday, October 17. JB's vanilla shop is having a sale - no coupon code required!
lovingbdsm.net
October 17, 2025 at 10:01 AM
This is not the first time we've discussed shame, but it's always a good conversation to have. It can and will show up in unexpected ways, including in your kink life.
Kayla shares her recent experience with shame that was unexpected.
Kayla shares her recent experience with shame that was unexpected.
It's Wednesday - we're going live at 3pm ET
We're going back to a topic we discussed in 2020 - dealing with shame in kink. Not kink-shaming, specifically - we've done that episode too. This is about internalized feelings of shame.
youtube.com/live/i_AO9aZ...
We're going back to a topic we discussed in 2020 - dealing with shame in kink. Not kink-shaming, specifically - we've done that episode too. This is about internalized feelings of shame.
youtube.com/live/i_AO9aZ...
Dealing with Feelings of Shame in Kink
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
October 15, 2025 at 2:49 PM
It's Wednesday - we're going live at 3pm ET
We're going back to a topic we discussed in 2020 - dealing with shame in kink. Not kink-shaming, specifically - we've done that episode too. This is about internalized feelings of shame.
youtube.com/live/i_AO9aZ...
We're going back to a topic we discussed in 2020 - dealing with shame in kink. Not kink-shaming, specifically - we've done that episode too. This is about internalized feelings of shame.
youtube.com/live/i_AO9aZ...
This week, we're answering 10 questions that are supposed to show if we *really* know each other.
Feel free to use these questions with your own partner.
Feel free to use these questions with your own partner.
10 Relationship Questions that Show You Really Know Your Partner
This week, we're answering relationship questions from Therapy Jeff (again!) because we needed a chill, low-key episode, lol. In this episode: Check out the new version of the Kinkery! This week's trans-affirming resource is Genderbands. What’s a really small thing that matters a lot to them? What’s something you could say that would instantly upset your partner? What’s the compliment they’d never get tired of hearing from you?
lovingbdsm.net
October 10, 2025 at 10:00 AM
This week, we're answering 10 questions that are supposed to show if we *really* know each other.
Feel free to use these questions with your own partner.
Feel free to use these questions with your own partner.
We're going live at 3pm ET this week, a brand new time!
This week we're answering 10 questions from Therapy Jeff that he says you can answer if you know your partner well
youtube.com/live/t07Mp1r...
The video playback will be available after the live, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week we're answering 10 questions from Therapy Jeff that he says you can answer if you know your partner well
youtube.com/live/t07Mp1r...
The video playback will be available after the live, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
10 Relationship Questions that Show You Really Know Your Partner
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
October 8, 2025 at 2:46 PM
We're going live at 3pm ET this week, a brand new time!
This week we're answering 10 questions from Therapy Jeff that he says you can answer if you know your partner well
youtube.com/live/t07Mp1r...
The video playback will be available after the live, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week we're answering 10 questions from Therapy Jeff that he says you can answer if you know your partner well
youtube.com/live/t07Mp1r...
The video playback will be available after the live, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week, we answered your kinky questions covering topics from overcoming fears to feeling dominant when you're shorter than your sub to the start of our D/s relationship.
Kinky Q&A
This week, we're answering questions you asked us over on IG at that handle Kayla hates. In this episode: Our Wednesday livestream will be at 3pm ET starting next week. This week's trans-affirming care resource is Point of Pride. Answering your kinky questions: Tasks Kayla does One thing we wish we'd known in the beginning Dating as a fat kinky femme…
lovingbdsm.net
October 3, 2025 at 10:13 AM
This week, we answered your kinky questions covering topics from overcoming fears to feeling dominant when you're shorter than your sub to the start of our D/s relationship.
We're going live at 7pm ET tonight!
This week, we're answering questions asked over on IG (at that handle Kayla fucking hates 😂).
Watch here: youtube.com/live/MQyA0bk...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week, we're answering questions asked over on IG (at that handle Kayla fucking hates 😂).
Watch here: youtube.com/live/MQyA0bk...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
Answering Kinky Questions from IG | Ask Us Anything
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
October 1, 2025 at 2:02 PM
We're going live at 7pm ET tonight!
This week, we're answering questions asked over on IG (at that handle Kayla fucking hates 😂).
Watch here: youtube.com/live/MQyA0bk...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week, we're answering questions asked over on IG (at that handle Kayla fucking hates 😂).
Watch here: youtube.com/live/MQyA0bk...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
In this week's episode, we answer questions from the kinky side of Reddit from a sub who won't use their safeword to a Dom who promised a collar but won't keep their word.
BDSM Reddit Response
The world is on fire, so let's take a break with a BDSM Reddit episode! In this episode: We're sharing trans-affirming resources each week because we can't be the only ones who need this information. This week's resource is Campaign for Southern Equality. Submissive refused to use their safeword Sub won't share their limits with their Dom This submissive doesn't like the word "owned"
lovingbdsm.net
September 26, 2025 at 10:01 AM
In this week's episode, we answer questions from the kinky side of Reddit from a sub who won't use their safeword to a Dom who promised a collar but won't keep their word.
It's Wednesday, so yes of course we're going live starting at 7pm ET!
This week we're doing a BDSM Reddit response episode!
youtube.com/live/-RoBtZb...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week we're doing a BDSM Reddit response episode!
youtube.com/live/-RoBtZb...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
BDSM Reddit Response
YouTube video by Loving BDSM
youtube.com
September 24, 2025 at 3:57 PM
It's Wednesday, so yes of course we're going live starting at 7pm ET!
This week we're doing a BDSM Reddit response episode!
youtube.com/live/-RoBtZb...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
This week we're doing a BDSM Reddit response episode!
youtube.com/live/-RoBtZb...
If you can't watch live, the video playback will be available, and the audio podcast will be out on Friday.
Grab the Kink Bundle before it’s gone:
💜 30+ trainings, courses, ebooks, and memberships
🖤 Over $2,000 in value
💜 96% discount
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
💜 30+ trainings, courses, ebooks, and memberships
🖤 Over $2,000 in value
💜 96% discount
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
September 23, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Grab the Kink Bundle before it’s gone:
💜 30+ trainings, courses, ebooks, and memberships
🖤 Over $2,000 in value
💜 96% discount
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
💜 30+ trainings, courses, ebooks, and memberships
🖤 Over $2,000 in value
💜 96% discount
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
The Kink Bundle has 30+ offers to help you learn more about kink and D/s -- and have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
September 20, 2025 at 6:50 PM
The Kink Bundle has 30+ offers to help you learn more about kink and D/s -- and have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
Learn more and sign up here: bit.ly/kinkbundle2025
This week, we're sharing what we're doing now in our D/s that we shared in past episodes: aging, libido, depression, finances, and more.
What’s Changed in our D/s | Updates from Old Episodes
We had technical issues last week which kept us from recording this episode, but we're back! (Technically with new technical problems but those don't impact the podcast, lol.) This week, we're giving updates from eight older episodes on how we do things in our power exchange. In this episode: The 2025 Kink Bundle is back thru September 24! We're going live on Friday, September 19 at 9:30pm ET.
lovingbdsm.net
September 19, 2025 at 10:01 AM
This week, we're sharing what we're doing now in our D/s that we shared in past episodes: aging, libido, depression, finances, and more.