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lovettejallow.bsky.social
Lovette 🏳️‍🌈
@lovettejallow.bsky.social
2K followers 210 following 580 posts
Published Author || 9x Award Winning Lecturer || Public Speaker || AuDHD || 🇬🇲🇸🇪🇳🇬🇨🇮 || 📧Lovette@Lovettejallow.com
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lovettejallow.bsky.social
Mental health stigma is not a shield from accountability. Autistic people are tired of being labeled “unwell” for asking for the work we paid for. People prey on autistics and think we will be silent.

Documentation is public now.
@digitaldavina.bsky.social
November 9, 2025 at 9:02 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
No emails are doctored as @digitaldavina.bsky.social claims. There has never been a need for that. The accusation reflects her thinking. When accountability feels threatening, some people project their own avoidance onto those they once called community. Honesty would have resolved this early.
November 9, 2025 at 8:56 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
The lies by @digitaldavina.bsky.social have continued even with full screen recordings, timestamps, and written agreements. This is not confusion. It is a pattern. Documentation exists and has been consistent from the start.
Davina Campbell: The Freelancer Who Weaponized Neurodivergence to Justify Taking Payment Without Delivering Services Lovette Jallow© I will refund when the post is taken down. I cannot afford to refund in full today. You paid the first half for the concept and I asked you not to pay the second half until delivery but your insisted on paying up front (Edited) avina Campbell • 9:04 pm The Contract: What Full Payment Actually Bought What Was Promised • Complete website design and development • Functioning SEO metadata • Accessibility features including alt text • Custom brand integration • Clear delivery timelines • Unlimited client communication What Was Delivered • Half-finished templates • No SEO metadata • No alt text • Generic copy and flat design • Broken timelines and vague reassurances • Months of silence Each deadline was met with emotional disclosures about exhaustion and anxiety. I found myself doing project management that wasn't mine to do, coordinating between Davina and my web developer, chasing updates, clarifying technical tasks that should have been her responsibility. Lovette Jallow© I'm so sorry this happened to you digitaldavina • 2h • Author @therezilientpac thank you breaks my heart. I know she's not well, but this is just cruel. The Weaponization of Mental Health Language "I know she's not well" When I asked for accountability, Davina suggested I was unstable. That phrase carried centuries of weight-the same language used to dismiss Black women's testimony in courtrooms. Professional Validation A mental health professional replied: "I'm so sorry this happened to you." Clinical authority was used to validate performance without questioning evidence. Strategic Deflection Davina invoked mental health to secure trust, then used mental health stigma to discredit accountability. Her supporters treated emotional distress as more credible than documented facts. Lovette Jallow© Davina Campbell • 2nd absite Designer | Helping Entrepreneurs Attract Cliant When Lightskin Privilege Meets Police Threats When Davina realized her tactics were no longer working, the performance shifted. The same woman who had invoked shared vulnerability and sisterhood reached for tools of dominance. She threatened to contact the police. The police threat wasn't casual. It was calculated. Davina knew that suggesting law enforcement involvement would activate a specific fear, one particular to dark-skinned Black women in Europe. She knew I would understand the subtext: I can make you the problem. I can summon the state. This is what lightskin privilege wielded by a biracial person looks like when left unexamined: the ability to occupy both sides of the power dynamic at will. Borrow credibility of Blackness when convenient, then retreat into the insulation of whiteness when challenged. Lovette Jallow©
November 9, 2025 at 8:54 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
3/ But we’re not creating safety. We’re training the nervous system to expect danger every time we speak.
October 28, 2025 at 9:33 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
I’ve expanded and edited my essays on autism and ableism into one full piece, now with audio.

If You’re Autistic, You Are Disabled explores internalised ableism, race, and liberation.

Join 7,000 readers on Substack, new essays for neurodivergents are coming.

open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...
October 27, 2025 at 4:05 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
erase it it just burns you out faster.

Many don’t realise that to be diagnosed with #autism you must meet the threshold for disability. The DSM-5 requires “clinically significant impairment” in daily life.

So saying “I’m autistic but not disabled” isn’t self-acceptance, it’s a contradiction.
October 13, 2025 at 11:50 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
Hate to be the bearer of neutral news, but to be diagnosed autistic you have to meet criteria for significant impairments. That means yes, you’re disabled. Your diagnosis already confirmed it.

People are crying blood on IG and linkedin because I said it out loud. Masking doesn’t ⤵️
October 13, 2025 at 11:50 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
2/Your inner child doesn’t need to be exiled, but they can’t drive.

When you let unhealed parts of you steer, every relationship becomes a reenactment. Healing begins the moment the adult takes the wheel and says, “We don’t live there anymore.”

✍🏾 Read or listen: 👇🏾
October 6, 2025 at 9:46 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
New essay out now: on what happens when unhealed childhood wounds steer adult relationships how trauma, whiteness, and emotional displacement keep people recreating the same unsafe spaces they try to escape.

Both written and audio versions available.

open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

1/3 ⤵️
When Childhood Wounds Drive Adult Relationships How unhealed trauma, whiteness, and emotional displacement keep people recreating the same unsafe spaces they claim to escape. The Lovette Jallow Perspective
October 6, 2025 at 9:46 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
2/ 2/ And every year it’s the same suspects:
• #Tylenol
• Vaccines
• WiFi towers
• The moon looking at us funny

Meanwhile the real answer is in your family tree.
Lovette @lovettejallow • 25/02/2024 Fellow autistics I finally figured it out. When people tweet on here asking why there are so many autistics around these days. What they want to know is... hear me out...graphic details of our parents having *whispers intercourse. Because that IS how we are created amirite?
September 23, 2025 at 5:30 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
Every morning I make plans. #Autism rewrites them, #ADHD loses them, and somehow I end up reorganizing the fridge at 3 a.m.
September 23, 2025 at 12:48 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
Oops I do have a knack for naming things you know 🥹
September 22, 2025 at 11:38 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
2/ Autism is ~83% heritable. ADHD ~74%. A child’s diagnosis often reads like the parent’s lost diary. The fidgets, the noise, the meltdowns all the traits they were told to bury.

#AutismDiagnosis #ADHDParenting #Neurodivergence #AutismAcceptance #IntergenerationalHealing #CureCulture
September 22, 2025 at 11:08 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
1/3 Why do so many parents only realize they’re autistic or ADHD after their child is diagnosed? Because children are not clay to mold. They are mirrors genetic, ancestral, unflinching.

#AutismDiagnosis #ADHDParenting #Neurodivergence #AutismAcceptance #IntergenerationalHealing #CureCulture
Why Parents Discover Their Own Autism or ADHD Through Their Child's Diagnosis The Lovette Jallow Perspective
September 22, 2025 at 11:06 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
Sweden sells itself as an equal welfare state. I call it having a good PR system. Behind the façade, the numbers/testimonies tell a different story.

It doesn’t matter if we have a left or right wing government disabled people are ignored by laws & systemically discriminated.

Link below 👇🏾
1/2
When Equality Is a Myth Sweden's Disability Laws Leave Autistic and Disabled People to Collapse The Lovette Jallow Perspective
September 21, 2025 at 8:00 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
2/ When skills regress, sentences dissolve mid-thought.
Noise overwhelms. Strategies collapse.
Doctors often mislabel it as stress or dementia.
It isn’t weakness. It’s involuntary unmasking.

#AutisticWomen #Perimenopause
"Clinically, perimenopause is described through symptoms like hot flashes, irregular cycles, night sweats, disrupted sleep, and mood swings. But what isn't named often enough is how these changes strip away the very reserves women once relied on to mask their neurodivergence." Lovette Jallow Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM "For many neurodivergent women, especially those who have lived decades undiagnosed, perimenopause is the moment when the mask starts slipping. The hormones that once buffered our nervous systems begin to fluctuate, and the strategies that kept us functioning no longer hold." Lovette Jallow Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM "I was not afraid to cut off what did not work, even when people tried to convince me it was my obligation. Blood or being related to me was irrelevant; what mattered was reciprocity. The grace and love I extend to myself is what emanates into community." Lovette Jallow Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM "The collapse that follows is not weakness. It is the direct consequence of being denied community support for decades. And too often, women also deny themselves that support by what they prioritized before-investments in survival scripts that perimenopause later reveals were masking neurodivergence in all its forms." Lovette Jallow Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM
September 15, 2025 at 4:46 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
1/3 The mask many women have worn for decades rarely survives perimenopause.
Brain fog creeps in. Tasks unravel. Emotional regulation slips. Sensory overwhelm spikes.
What looked like competence was masking. When hormones shift, the mask breaks.

#ADHDWomen #Neurodivergent
Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause Perimenopause unmasks ADHD and autism in women, leaving many misdiagnosed and unsupported. LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM "For many neurodivergent women, especially those who have lived decades undiagnosed, perimenopause is the moment when the mask starts slipping." Lovette Jallow Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM
September 15, 2025 at 4:46 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
Small talk isn’t harmless for autistic & ADHD professionals. It’s labor, not glue. In workplaces it allocates access, credit & care while punishing clarity, esp. in Black neurodivergent women. Directness is care. Clarity is ethical.

#Autism #ADHD #Neurodivergent #WorkplaceCulture #Inclusion
September 8, 2025 at 5:24 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
They ain’t shit for real! And you aren’t alone many of us including my own clients have gone through this.
August 20, 2025 at 2:38 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
When people tell others “just go to therapy,” I laugh.

Not because therapy isn’t useful but because no one ever tells you how to find the right therapist. Or what “right” even means for autistics.

Do you know how hard it is to find someone culturally competent,
#cbt #autism
Why CBT Fails So Many Autistic People What happens when therapy treats your trauma like a math problem, and your brain like a bad equation? LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM
August 20, 2025 at 2:09 AM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
You can find a myriad on my IG and substack and soon to come a webinar. 🙏🏾
August 17, 2025 at 10:50 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
I have new posts on IG on “Neurodivergence in African societies” whilst I work out how to share with the diaspora the full research soon.

Same name on IG ✨🫶🏾
August 17, 2025 at 10:16 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
I know that’s right! ✨🙏🏾
I am also on IG where I create the visual alt texted slides to go with my essays.

Essay 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lovettejallo...
August 17, 2025 at 9:56 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
People think autistic + ADHD folks “hate small talk” because we’re antisocial. No we see what’s happening. Small talk is data collection. Vagueness is coercion. It’s how workplaces, families + strangers mine our labor + boundaries. #Neurodivergent #Autism
"They don't land as harmless curiosity. Each one opens a dozen loops in the mind: How much truth is allowed? Do they want detail or just "fine"? Will honesty make them uncomfortable, or will vagueness be read as rude?" Lovette Jallow Why Small Talk Exhausts Autistic and ADHD People LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM "Direct answers, honesty, and clear questions allow us to conserve energy and reduce confusion. They are not superior forms of communication-they are simply what works best for us." Lovette Jallow Why Small Talk Exhausts Autistic and ADHD People LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM
August 17, 2025 at 7:12 PM
lovettejallow.bsky.social
1/3 Small talk is not always harmless. For autistic + ADHD people, it’s a test we never agreed to take. “How are you?” (but don’t want the truth). “Where are you from?” (but won’t take the answer). “What do you do?” (so they can measure your usefulness). #Autism #ADHD
Why Small Talk Exhausts Autistic and ADHD People Vagueness isn't harmless it's often a tool for control, extraction, and gaslighting towards neurodivergent persons. LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSIACK.COM "For many of us, small talk isn't small-it's a flood of noise, shifting tones, darting eye contact, and unspoken rules to decode in real time. Remember the questions from the start: "How was your weekend?" "Where are you from?'' Lovette Jallow Why Small Talk Exhausts Autistic and ADHD People LOVETTEJALLOW.SUBSTACK.COM
August 17, 2025 at 7:12 PM