“…And then we’ll drug you and fuck you with a cucumber”

I can’t wait to leave SJP to allow another 20,000 people in to sit down when we’re taking a penalty 🙄

As if people are sat down watching a penalty… unbelievable

Except when he plays against Isak

He’d lose the key evidence in his house and then call in a robbery

“Three times over the cocaine-drive level…” will never, NEVER, be bettered

“United” - this sort of stuff is sub-tabloid level of writing

His general attitude has been canny shite too. Didn’t looked arsed when he came on against Wolves and had to be told to stay on the pitch at the end to applaud the fans, with a face like a smacked arse.

I also noticed when the players were warming up at HT he was just pissing about unlike the rest

The Centurion in Central Station