Lenslinger
@lenslinger.bsky.social
Pithy Epistles from the Thinking Person's Cameraman
Coming up on Friday's episode of Behind The Lens, STRESS and how your friendly neighborhood camera crew deals with it.
Strangely, I find yardwork helps.
Strangely, I find yardwork helps.
July 7, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Coming up on Friday's episode of Behind The Lens, STRESS and how your friendly neighborhood camera crew deals with it.
Strangely, I find yardwork helps.
Strangely, I find yardwork helps.
Yesterday was one of those days when I had to remind myself how very cool the twelve year old me would think it would be to lead a swarthy band of television makers in the middle of a city…
Remind me to punch that kid.
Remind me to punch that kid.
June 7, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Yesterday was one of those days when I had to remind myself how very cool the twelve year old me would think it would be to lead a swarthy band of television makers in the middle of a city…
Remind me to punch that kid.
Remind me to punch that kid.
UP NEXT ON THE MIDNIGHT MOVIE: An amateur taxidermist rises from his swampy lair to take apart local TV photogs limb by— what’s that? It’s just WAVE-TV weirdo Marty Pearl slaying a day-turn?
I’d watch the hell outta that.
I’d watch the hell outta that.
May 20, 2025 at 12:21 AM
UP NEXT ON THE MIDNIGHT MOVIE: An amateur taxidermist rises from his swampy lair to take apart local TV photogs limb by— what’s that? It’s just WAVE-TV weirdo Marty Pearl slaying a day-turn?
I’d watch the hell outta that.
I’d watch the hell outta that.
Back for a third stab at Hip Hop greatness, Turbo and The Wordy One’s new release “It Takes One Dead Battery to Hold Us Back” falls flat. Turbo’s backbeats are catchy in a workmanlike way, but The Wordy One’s habit of scatting his favorite tweets over them quickly proves excruciating.
May 15, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Back for a third stab at Hip Hop greatness, Turbo and The Wordy One’s new release “It Takes One Dead Battery to Hold Us Back” falls flat. Turbo’s backbeats are catchy in a workmanlike way, but The Wordy One’s habit of scatting his favorite tweets over them quickly proves excruciating.
Some men sketch out maps of conquests. Others seek solace in supercar silhouettes. I doodle Betacams.
We are not the same.
We are not the same.
May 14, 2025 at 8:23 AM
Some men sketch out maps of conquests. Others seek solace in supercar silhouettes. I doodle Betacams.
We are not the same.
We are not the same.
Chief among my regrets in life is that silly attempt at being a country music star. Yeah, I got a Southern drawl and a strong point of view, but my total lack of musical talent frustrated the label. They wanted songs about horses. All I got are camera crew quips.
At least they let me keep the hat.
At least they let me keep the hat.
May 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Chief among my regrets in life is that silly attempt at being a country music star. Yeah, I got a Southern drawl and a strong point of view, but my total lack of musical talent frustrated the label. They wanted songs about horses. All I got are camera crew quips.
At least they let me keep the hat.
At least they let me keep the hat.
PRO TIP: Never assign a Sith Lord to vosot patrol.
Just sayin’…
Just sayin’…
May 4, 2025 at 1:36 PM
PRO TIP: Never assign a Sith Lord to vosot patrol.
Just sayin’…
Just sayin’…
You there… still reading this: Thanks. Knowing folks peruse this lurching stream of drivel means more than I’’m willing to admit. Feel good about that.
I do.
Also, pretty sure I threw my back out. Can you flag down one of my guys and see if they can help me back to the van?
I do.
Also, pretty sure I threw my back out. Can you flag down one of my guys and see if they can help me back to the van?
May 2, 2025 at 12:31 AM
You there… still reading this: Thanks. Knowing folks peruse this lurching stream of drivel means more than I’’m willing to admit. Feel good about that.
I do.
Also, pretty sure I threw my back out. Can you flag down one of my guys and see if they can help me back to the van?
I do.
Also, pretty sure I threw my back out. Can you flag down one of my guys and see if they can help me back to the van?
SSSHHHHHH… It’s the heavily vested edge dweller. Normally found in flocks, this famously furtive beast is clearly ensconced in his morning foray. Note the prideful stance, the steely gaze, the… odd plumage.
Somebody wake him up.
Somebody wake him up.
April 15, 2025 at 12:58 PM
SSSHHHHHH… It’s the heavily vested edge dweller. Normally found in flocks, this famously furtive beast is clearly ensconced in his morning foray. Note the prideful stance, the steely gaze, the… odd plumage.
Somebody wake him up.
Somebody wake him up.
I used to roam the open plains, past the gift shop, where kids gawked at heffalumps and woozles flung dung at photogs. I profiled puffins, conferred with turtles, wined and dined rhinos - all while avoiding capture by the desk...
Today I alphabetized a buncha gas card receipts.
Today I alphabetized a buncha gas card receipts.
April 14, 2025 at 11:55 AM
I used to roam the open plains, past the gift shop, where kids gawked at heffalumps and woozles flung dung at photogs. I profiled puffins, conferred with turtles, wined and dined rhinos - all while avoiding capture by the desk...
Today I alphabetized a buncha gas card receipts.
Today I alphabetized a buncha gas card receipts.
You there, with the inside gig. I know, I know, the AC in the newsroom is whack, but let’s face it: ya got it easy.
Somewhere out there, a photog is trudging upward in the name of your newscast. Lighten their load and you’ll have a friend forever.
Otherwise, who’s gonna shoot your wedding?
Somewhere out there, a photog is trudging upward in the name of your newscast. Lighten their load and you’ll have a friend forever.
Otherwise, who’s gonna shoot your wedding?
April 9, 2025 at 11:47 AM
You there, with the inside gig. I know, I know, the AC in the newsroom is whack, but let’s face it: ya got it easy.
Somewhere out there, a photog is trudging upward in the name of your newscast. Lighten their load and you’ll have a friend forever.
Otherwise, who’s gonna shoot your wedding?
Somewhere out there, a photog is trudging upward in the name of your newscast. Lighten their load and you’ll have a friend forever.
Otherwise, who’s gonna shoot your wedding?
What kind of fire ants can you find outside the county courthouse?
The photog knows.
What condiments keep their flavor after six months under a seat?
The photog knows.
How do you maximize that 401K so you can retire early in total luxury?
Let us get back to you on that.
The photog knows.
What condiments keep their flavor after six months under a seat?
The photog knows.
How do you maximize that 401K so you can retire early in total luxury?
Let us get back to you on that.
April 8, 2025 at 11:01 AM
What kind of fire ants can you find outside the county courthouse?
The photog knows.
What condiments keep their flavor after six months under a seat?
The photog knows.
How do you maximize that 401K so you can retire early in total luxury?
Let us get back to you on that.
The photog knows.
What condiments keep their flavor after six months under a seat?
The photog knows.
How do you maximize that 401K so you can retire early in total luxury?
Let us get back to you on that.
Rest easy, Toledo... Bobby's on it.
He's got a lens-hood the size of a punchbowl, a transmitter dish that makes me twitch just looking at it and enough stickered logos to strip a rain forest...
I'd give him room if I were you.
He's got a lens-hood the size of a punchbowl, a transmitter dish that makes me twitch just looking at it and enough stickered logos to strip a rain forest...
I'd give him room if I were you.
March 19, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Rest easy, Toledo... Bobby's on it.
He's got a lens-hood the size of a punchbowl, a transmitter dish that makes me twitch just looking at it and enough stickered logos to strip a rain forest...
I'd give him room if I were you.
He's got a lens-hood the size of a punchbowl, a transmitter dish that makes me twitch just looking at it and enough stickered logos to strip a rain forest...
I'd give him room if I were you.
Hey Stew, we know you're just driving through, but if you could pull over and bang out a package, that'dbegreat. We've got you in for two minutes, plus tease video and super times... Oh, cops said -something- about rabid dogs in the area, not real sure...
Don't forget the tease
Don't forget the tease
March 17, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Hey Stew, we know you're just driving through, but if you could pull over and bang out a package, that'dbegreat. We've got you in for two minutes, plus tease video and super times... Oh, cops said -something- about rabid dogs in the area, not real sure...
Don't forget the tease
Don't forget the tease
Up next on
'ASSIGNMENT:UNKNOWN', one heroic photog slogs through a hellish landscape as unseen forces threaten his very survi-- hang on, it's just Larry! He's at that corncob thing and can't get anybody to talk! Wants to know if he can bust it down to a VO?
Whew, that was close.
'ASSIGNMENT:UNKNOWN', one heroic photog slogs through a hellish landscape as unseen forces threaten his very survi-- hang on, it's just Larry! He's at that corncob thing and can't get anybody to talk! Wants to know if he can bust it down to a VO?
Whew, that was close.
March 10, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Up next on
'ASSIGNMENT:UNKNOWN', one heroic photog slogs through a hellish landscape as unseen forces threaten his very survi-- hang on, it's just Larry! He's at that corncob thing and can't get anybody to talk! Wants to know if he can bust it down to a VO?
Whew, that was close.
'ASSIGNMENT:UNKNOWN', one heroic photog slogs through a hellish landscape as unseen forces threaten his very survi-- hang on, it's just Larry! He's at that corncob thing and can't get anybody to talk! Wants to know if he can bust it down to a VO?
Whew, that was close.
PRO TIP: Though not a direct corollary, physical discomfort on the part of the camera operator can greatly add to the photojournalism at hand.
Now… can someone help me to my car?
Now… can someone help me to my car?
February 26, 2025 at 3:21 PM
PRO TIP: Though not a direct corollary, physical discomfort on the part of the camera operator can greatly add to the photojournalism at hand.
Now… can someone help me to my car?
Now… can someone help me to my car?
Despite a strong opening track (“Lost Lav”), the new band of news photogs (plus a goofy engineering kid) ultimately crashes upon impact. It all kinda cooked, until the oldest member of the group kept interrupting the groove to tell meandering stories about his childhood.
1 Star.
1 Star.
February 22, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Despite a strong opening track (“Lost Lav”), the new band of news photogs (plus a goofy engineering kid) ultimately crashes upon impact. It all kinda cooked, until the oldest member of the group kept interrupting the groove to tell meandering stories about his childhood.
1 Star.
1 Star.
1959: Suburban father Ward Cleaver plows through another thankless day of Vosot Patrol, knowing full well when he gets home, he'll have to have a word with 'The Beav' over some such bullshit.
January 30, 2025 at 1:50 PM
1959: Suburban father Ward Cleaver plows through another thankless day of Vosot Patrol, knowing full well when he gets home, he'll have to have a word with 'The Beav' over some such bullshit.
Tenets of the Scrum
January 14, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Tenets of the Scrum
SHOUT OUT to ALL the news crews covering the West Coast fires - especially NBC LA's Sean Browning, who can't help but look like a bad-ass in the process.
Someone get him a juice-box or something...
Someone get him a juice-box or something...
January 8, 2025 at 2:53 PM
SHOUT OUT to ALL the news crews covering the West Coast fires - especially NBC LA's Sean Browning, who can't help but look like a bad-ass in the process.
Someone get him a juice-box or something...
Someone get him a juice-box or something...
Rest in Peace, Greg Gumbel.
I was born without the chromosome that makes one appreciate sports, but I always liked Greg Gumbel’s vibe. His eloquence and subtle wit brought sophistication to a field people like me often find lacking.
THAT’S a legacy anyone can be proud of.
I was born without the chromosome that makes one appreciate sports, but I always liked Greg Gumbel’s vibe. His eloquence and subtle wit brought sophistication to a field people like me often find lacking.
THAT’S a legacy anyone can be proud of.
December 28, 2024 at 3:55 PM
Rest in Peace, Greg Gumbel.
I was born without the chromosome that makes one appreciate sports, but I always liked Greg Gumbel’s vibe. His eloquence and subtle wit brought sophistication to a field people like me often find lacking.
THAT’S a legacy anyone can be proud of.
I was born without the chromosome that makes one appreciate sports, but I always liked Greg Gumbel’s vibe. His eloquence and subtle wit brought sophistication to a field people like me often find lacking.
THAT’S a legacy anyone can be proud of.
Illustrating the evening news is an endless probe of the human condition, an upward thrust into the unknown and a brazen foray into the controversy of the day...
Mostly though, you just point the shiny end at broken stuff.
Mostly though, you just point the shiny end at broken stuff.
December 27, 2024 at 2:02 PM
Illustrating the evening news is an endless probe of the human condition, an upward thrust into the unknown and a brazen foray into the controversy of the day...
Mostly though, you just point the shiny end at broken stuff.
Mostly though, you just point the shiny end at broken stuff.
Spotted a photog in the wild, just a few doors down from my house!
Didn’t have the heart to tell him the guy in the sled is Lester, local drifter/discount taxidermist.
Nah, I’m kidding, that’s totally Santa.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him the guy in the sled is Lester, local drifter/discount taxidermist.
Nah, I’m kidding, that’s totally Santa.
December 24, 2024 at 3:15 PM
Spotted a photog in the wild, just a few doors down from my house!
Didn’t have the heart to tell him the guy in the sled is Lester, local drifter/discount taxidermist.
Nah, I’m kidding, that’s totally Santa.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him the guy in the sled is Lester, local drifter/discount taxidermist.
Nah, I’m kidding, that’s totally Santa.
Don’t know about you, but I’d pay CASH MONEY to have either of these jokers show me around Toronto, circa ‘78.
December 16, 2024 at 10:16 PM
Don’t know about you, but I’d pay CASH MONEY to have either of these jokers show me around Toronto, circa ‘78.
Find someone who finds you amusing.
December 14, 2024 at 3:44 AM
Find someone who finds you amusing.