Hey the world, my world. Today JD and I invited Zelensky over to my house for some bullying fun., it was great how we humiliated him, we felt really powerful when we did it. JD was great, what a guy. I feel so pumped I'm going to plough Melania tonight

Hi world. Today my people spoke to Vlad's people. It was a great meeting, greater than the last supper, easily. They agreed that Ukraine should have a new name if we're to have peace and that name is Russia. Nobody can bring the war to the end except me. If I went to Kyiv, they'd fall in love with I

I'm done with the ICC, they're Commies. If Stalin and Fidel Castro had a baby it would be the ICC. I don't know if it would be a boy ICC or a girl ICC, but it would only be allowed to be one or the other. We need to make the ICC great again MICCGA🇺🇸

You know what's been happening in Gaza has been a very bad thing, an atrocity. So I had my good friend Benny Netinyahu over at the White House the other day and because it's his birthday soon I told him I'm gonna buy him a Palestine for his birthday. MPGA🇮🇱 🇺🇸

Americans I'm calling on you to do your patriotic duty and Boycott China today. I don't like China, they make viruses. You know there's a globe in the oval office and I took some paint and painted over China, so I don't have to look at it on my globe. China is bad, boycott China

What a guy Elon Musk is, he's a great guy and he makes great cars, all other cars are fake, they're fake cars. He's just opened another production plant which I had the pleasure of visiting yesterday

So, as POTUS I pardoned those guys because like me they were wrongly accused of being criminals. I'm the least criminal person in history of the world and you know if there was a great big gold medal for being un criminal I'd be wearing it, nobody else, just me Donald J Tramp

..those guys to go to the Capitol, they did go because a theft took place,it was the biggest theft the world has ever seen, bigger than the biggest bank robbery ever, it was bigly, very bigly. Biden stole the election and those guys who went to the Capitol went to reclaim stolen property.

The fake people say I don't care about people who suffer, but that's not true, not true. Those guys who went down to the Capitol to have a quiet word with the fake politicians (and that Judas Pence), they suffered when Sleepy Joe put them in jail. Even though I didn't do anything to encourage

In fact there was a guy named Jesus Christ and if he was around today he'd shake my hand and concede that I was better at him at being on the side of the little guy. He'd admit that compared to me he's a loser.

Hey guys, well it's signed and sealed I, Donald J Tramp, am the POTUS and it feels good. You know people, fake people, say I'm not really on the side of people who are struggling, but that's not true. Nobody in the history of the world has ever been on as much as on the side of the little guy as me

Hello AmeriKKKA. It's me Donald Tramp, your new president from January. I've got some big plans for my presidency, my plans are bigger than anyone else's plans. You know other people have plans, but they're fake plans. My plans are big and not fake. Watch this space for the biggest and best plans