Chubby Humphrey
@latelygraham.bsky.social
Born to dilly dally, forced to work in marketing technology
Can’t wait for Friday. Big valentine’s plans? Hell yes. We’re going to watch the one hour of adult television a week we get to watch together (Severance).
February 13, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Can’t wait for Friday. Big valentine’s plans? Hell yes. We’re going to watch the one hour of adult television a week we get to watch together (Severance).
The dye-free generic children’s Motrin from CVS makes my baby smell like Swisher Sweets.
February 12, 2025 at 12:47 PM
The dye-free generic children’s Motrin from CVS makes my baby smell like Swisher Sweets.
Every night I squeeze my child into sausage casings for pajamas, meanwhile if my underwear are a bit too tight I will not sleep.
February 2, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Every night I squeeze my child into sausage casings for pajamas, meanwhile if my underwear are a bit too tight I will not sleep.
Am I insane for cancelling a trip with flights right now? I feel crazy but it’s also been like two crashes in three days and no one is doing anything?
February 1, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Am I insane for cancelling a trip with flights right now? I feel crazy but it’s also been like two crashes in three days and no one is doing anything?
My greatest joy right now is my kid.
She’s mine, so she’s very opinionated, but she is the only baby I’ve ever known to let you put lotion and lip treatments on without licking it off. Tonight she asked for more face lotion. She’s a gem.
She’s mine, so she’s very opinionated, but she is the only baby I’ve ever known to let you put lotion and lip treatments on without licking it off. Tonight she asked for more face lotion. She’s a gem.
January 31, 2025 at 1:30 AM
My greatest joy right now is my kid.
She’s mine, so she’s very opinionated, but she is the only baby I’ve ever known to let you put lotion and lip treatments on without licking it off. Tonight she asked for more face lotion. She’s a gem.
She’s mine, so she’s very opinionated, but she is the only baby I’ve ever known to let you put lotion and lip treatments on without licking it off. Tonight she asked for more face lotion. She’s a gem.
Hooooo boy well I’m spiraling today!
January 28, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Hooooo boy well I’m spiraling today!
I’ve been really living in the “every new stage of parenting is the best” mindset, but toddler is actually the best. It’s the one with the fewest breaks. And the one where you have to do a lot of forward-thinking. But it’s so funny.
January 28, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I’ve been really living in the “every new stage of parenting is the best” mindset, but toddler is actually the best. It’s the one with the fewest breaks. And the one where you have to do a lot of forward-thinking. But it’s so funny.
Reposted by Chubby Humphrey
Never again. That has to mean something more than a slogan used to feel good about condemning a distant genocide it costs nothing to condemn.
January 28, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Never again. That has to mean something more than a slogan used to feel good about condemning a distant genocide it costs nothing to condemn.
My 1.5 yr old loves books and looking at them on her own. She’s also, as I mentioned, a year old and breaking board books. Not a ton, not maliciously or violently, it’s from leaning on them or forcing them closed the wrong way.
January 27, 2025 at 12:11 AM
My 1.5 yr old loves books and looking at them on her own. She’s also, as I mentioned, a year old and breaking board books. Not a ton, not maliciously or violently, it’s from leaning on them or forcing them closed the wrong way.
I’ve been very very badly doing French with my toddler and she got her first word in French today! “Nini” for “fini!”
January 26, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I’ve been very very badly doing French with my toddler and she got her first word in French today! “Nini” for “fini!”
Yeah Jerry. That’s exactly what we do. You’re a genius and the only person who has thought of this.
do any americans go overseas, ride a bullet train, and think: nah, we don't need this?
January 25, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Yeah Jerry. That’s exactly what we do. You’re a genius and the only person who has thought of this.
Thinking about letting my toddler slam some of my cold brew just to balance out the entire banana she just ate.
January 25, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Thinking about letting my toddler slam some of my cold brew just to balance out the entire banana she just ate.
One thing I cannot stop thinking about is how many (more) family annihilators will come out of this administration.
Men embarrassed by economic failure with no safety net, specifically.
Men embarrassed by economic failure with no safety net, specifically.
January 23, 2025 at 8:06 PM
One thing I cannot stop thinking about is how many (more) family annihilators will come out of this administration.
Men embarrassed by economic failure with no safety net, specifically.
Men embarrassed by economic failure with no safety net, specifically.
People like to shit on nurses as some sort of profession that people who peaked in high school go into, but every nurse I know (sample size like 5?) has specifically said they will body slam someone before they release their patient without a warrant and I believe all of them.
January 23, 2025 at 11:43 AM
People like to shit on nurses as some sort of profession that people who peaked in high school go into, but every nurse I know (sample size like 5?) has specifically said they will body slam someone before they release their patient without a warrant and I believe all of them.
oh dear now I have to start sewing the quilt and following directions
I cut 12 fabrics for a quilt I’m making and I only fucked it up once. A win for me, honestly.
January 22, 2025 at 6:21 PM
oh dear now I have to start sewing the quilt and following directions
The infantilization of conservative politicians wives by liberals is fucking. infuriating, disgusting and frankly misogynistic! Every single one of those women married and stays married for power over others. This includes women married to men high up in oppressive churches.
January 22, 2025 at 6:04 PM
The infantilization of conservative politicians wives by liberals is fucking. infuriating, disgusting and frankly misogynistic! Every single one of those women married and stays married for power over others. This includes women married to men high up in oppressive churches.
"You'll never guess what happened when I replaced the water in my focaccia recipe with chocolate milk"
I think I will. Yeah, this one is gonna be pretty easy to guess actually.
I think I will. Yeah, this one is gonna be pretty easy to guess actually.
January 22, 2025 at 4:06 PM
"You'll never guess what happened when I replaced the water in my focaccia recipe with chocolate milk"
I think I will. Yeah, this one is gonna be pretty easy to guess actually.
I think I will. Yeah, this one is gonna be pretty easy to guess actually.
Awhile back, I was on the verge of a mental health crisis and did some serious change in how I interacted with the internet to keep myself sane. I've maintained a lot of it since my life did not get less complicated or exhausting since then, even though my mental health is a lot better.
January 22, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Awhile back, I was on the verge of a mental health crisis and did some serious change in how I interacted with the internet to keep myself sane. I've maintained a lot of it since my life did not get less complicated or exhausting since then, even though my mental health is a lot better.
So admittedly last year I was not really a person at this time, but does the “Dry January, but do it with a ton of THC products” advertising hitting anyone else? Feels…counterproductive.
January 22, 2025 at 10:18 AM
So admittedly last year I was not really a person at this time, but does the “Dry January, but do it with a ton of THC products” advertising hitting anyone else? Feels…counterproductive.
I love when a middling book has a back section for book club discussion topics. What pure optimism and self-esteem!
January 22, 2025 at 1:40 AM
I love when a middling book has a back section for book club discussion topics. What pure optimism and self-esteem!
I cut 12 fabrics for a quilt I’m making and I only fucked it up once. A win for me, honestly.
January 22, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I cut 12 fabrics for a quilt I’m making and I only fucked it up once. A win for me, honestly.
A great emotional regulation tip for parents of toddlers is to use crocs as their house shoes. It won’t do anything for them but it makes their little stomps tantrums really funny for you
January 18, 2025 at 9:34 PM
A great emotional regulation tip for parents of toddlers is to use crocs as their house shoes. It won’t do anything for them but it makes their little stomps tantrums really funny for you
It’s so funny kids’ pajamas are essentially painted on them but if I so much as feel like my pajamas are touching my body I can’t sleep.
January 13, 2025 at 12:30 AM
It’s so funny kids’ pajamas are essentially painted on them but if I so much as feel like my pajamas are touching my body I can’t sleep.
My toddler has added two extremely cute words to her vocabulary:
Please (peas), usually said with increasing volume until she’s given what she wants
Thank you (day-du)
Please (peas), usually said with increasing volume until she’s given what she wants
Thank you (day-du)
January 11, 2025 at 1:57 PM
My toddler has added two extremely cute words to her vocabulary:
Please (peas), usually said with increasing volume until she’s given what she wants
Thank you (day-du)
Please (peas), usually said with increasing volume until she’s given what she wants
Thank you (day-du)