Imperial Margarine Presents: Kurtquistador
@kurtquistador.bsky.social
The kind of guys who are AI superfans?
December 4, 2025 at 10:49 PM
The kind of guys who are AI superfans?
Reposted by Imperial Margarine Presents: Kurtquistador
You know when I was a teenager I wanted to be a writer, but I think I partially just saw that as respectable excuse to be on drugs all the time.
November 27, 2025 at 2:43 AM
You know when I was a teenager I wanted to be a writer, but I think I partially just saw that as respectable excuse to be on drugs all the time.
I got "Nether Walloped" with a foam pool noodle in the frozen food (meals/pizza) aisle of a Wal-Mart Supercenter in 1993, and now I'm near-sighted.
I still can't find a lawyer to take on my case.
I still can't find a lawyer to take on my case.
*Middle Wallop is one of the three villages of the Wallops. The other two are Over Wallop and...wait for it...Nether Wallop.
Look it up if you don't believe me.
/19
Look it up if you don't believe me.
/19
November 26, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I got "Nether Walloped" with a foam pool noodle in the frozen food (meals/pizza) aisle of a Wal-Mart Supercenter in 1993, and now I'm near-sighted.
I still can't find a lawyer to take on my case.
I still can't find a lawyer to take on my case.
They didn't even ask me to audition. 😜
I voice Prince Kurt in Furry Emb- I mean Fire Emblem Shadows!
I’m still in disbelief I get to play a main character in a new Fire Emblem game & I hope I can continue telling his story for a long time to come 💜
Thank you for having me, Cup of Tea Productions and @nintendousa.bsky.social!
I’m still in disbelief I get to play a main character in a new Fire Emblem game & I hope I can continue telling his story for a long time to come 💜
Thank you for having me, Cup of Tea Productions and @nintendousa.bsky.social!
September 26, 2025 at 6:48 PM
They didn't even ask me to audition. 😜
I'm not saying someone is trying to manufacture a Reichstag fire, but come on.
September 24, 2025 at 10:25 PM
I'm not saying someone is trying to manufacture a Reichstag fire, but come on.
Obviously, I didn't eat the last of the barbecue leftovers and banana pudding.
It must have been Raptured away.
It must have been Raptured away.
September 23, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Obviously, I didn't eat the last of the barbecue leftovers and banana pudding.
It must have been Raptured away.
It must have been Raptured away.
Well, we can pack it in early. Nobody's topping this today. It's perfect. Let's appreciate this and draw inspiration for tomorrow.
September 14, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Well, we can pack it in early. Nobody's topping this today. It's perfect. Let's appreciate this and draw inspiration for tomorrow.
Stormtroopers triggered by "Imperial March."
A man in Washington, DC, plays the Imperial March from Star Wars while following patrolling soldiers. One of the soldiers threatens to call the police.
September 14, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Stormtroopers triggered by "Imperial March."
Reposted by Imperial Margarine Presents: Kurtquistador
Stan Lee: And THAT'S how he became PrawnMan, true believers. EXCELSIOR!
www.cbsnews.com/news/walmart...
www.cbsnews.com/news/walmart...
Walmart recalls Great Value shrimp after FDA warns of risk of radioactive contamination
Some packages of Great Value frozen shrimp sold at Walmart are at risk for potential for Cesium-137 contamination, the FDA says.
www.cbsnews.com
August 19, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Stan Lee: And THAT'S how he became PrawnMan, true believers. EXCELSIOR!
www.cbsnews.com/news/walmart...
www.cbsnews.com/news/walmart...
You're gonna need a little boat.
Researchers from New England Aquarium are tagging sand tiger sharks in Boston Harbor to better understand the species as its population slowly rebounds. via @wgbh.org
It's not just great whites. Sand tiger sharks are rebounding in New England.
Researchers from New England Aquarium are tagging sand tiger sharks in Boston Harbor to better understand the species as its population slowly rebounds.
www.wgbh.org
August 18, 2025 at 9:16 PM
You're gonna need a little boat.
If anyone in Congress would doggedly get to the bottom of anything involving underage girls, it's Matt Gaetz.
July 16, 2025 at 12:12 AM
If anyone in Congress would doggedly get to the bottom of anything involving underage girls, it's Matt Gaetz.
The Cowboys need to get this guy on contract yesterday.
A member of Taiwan's parliament stole a bill and ran off with it to prevent it from being passed
June 29, 2025 at 1:44 AM
The Cowboys need to get this guy on contract yesterday.
Perfect. No notes. 10/10
June 15, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Perfect. No notes. 10/10
I ran a 3 week long nightly Star Frontiers campaign on a nerd eco-camping trip in 1988 that cemented some lifelong friendships ... and led to some really dodgy 35+ year old in-jokes.
Besides DND, Pathfinder, and Monster of the Week, name a TTRPG.
June 15, 2025 at 5:28 AM
I ran a 3 week long nightly Star Frontiers campaign on a nerd eco-camping trip in 1988 that cemented some lifelong friendships ... and led to some really dodgy 35+ year old in-jokes.
This Sunday, for anyone who isn't able to be with their father or whose father has passed away, I will be working on my truck.
June 13, 2025 at 1:27 AM
This Sunday, for anyone who isn't able to be with their father or whose father has passed away, I will be working on my truck.
I'm just saying this is not the fucking taco truck on every corner I was promised.
June 5, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I'm just saying this is not the fucking taco truck on every corner I was promised.
When you're working remotely and they tell you to turn on your camera for the Teams meeting.
May 23, 2025 at 7:16 PM
When you're working remotely and they tell you to turn on your camera for the Teams meeting.
Reminders for next week:
Black smoke: No new pope
White smoke: New pope has been elected
Purple smoke: Snoop Dogg and Willie have been brought in to sort things out with the cardinals.
Black smoke: No new pope
White smoke: New pope has been elected
Purple smoke: Snoop Dogg and Willie have been brought in to sort things out with the cardinals.
May 2, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Reminders for next week:
Black smoke: No new pope
White smoke: New pope has been elected
Purple smoke: Snoop Dogg and Willie have been brought in to sort things out with the cardinals.
Black smoke: No new pope
White smoke: New pope has been elected
Purple smoke: Snoop Dogg and Willie have been brought in to sort things out with the cardinals.
Consider yourselves warned: I will once again be running for Pope.
I have excellent qualifications, notably being infallible already. I went to A&M, so I am familiar with being part of a religion with a bunch of rites that everyone outside thinks are weird and anachronistic. (1/2)
I have excellent qualifications, notably being infallible already. I went to A&M, so I am familiar with being part of a religion with a bunch of rites that everyone outside thinks are weird and anachronistic. (1/2)
April 22, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Consider yourselves warned: I will once again be running for Pope.
I have excellent qualifications, notably being infallible already. I went to A&M, so I am familiar with being part of a religion with a bunch of rites that everyone outside thinks are weird and anachronistic. (1/2)
I have excellent qualifications, notably being infallible already. I went to A&M, so I am familiar with being part of a religion with a bunch of rites that everyone outside thinks are weird and anachronistic. (1/2)
"A report from the president's physician released on Sunday suggested Trump had "well controlled" high cholesterol and a history of COVID-19, rosacea, pre-cancerous skin, diverticulosis, and a benign colon polyp."
What a colon polyp might look like.
What a colon polyp might look like.
April 13, 2025 at 8:24 PM
"A report from the president's physician released on Sunday suggested Trump had "well controlled" high cholesterol and a history of COVID-19, rosacea, pre-cancerous skin, diverticulosis, and a benign colon polyp."
What a colon polyp might look like.
What a colon polyp might look like.
Reposted by Imperial Margarine Presents: Kurtquistador
A couple of VERY Jersey guys behind me have apparently bet a lot on BYU, and I’m not sure there’s been this much profanity screamed in support of Mormons before
I’m at the Sweet Sixteen in Newark and despite the presence of Duke fans I will not be making any jokes.
My apologies to the National Review for not providing more cutting edge content.
My apologies to the National Review for not providing more cutting edge content.
March 28, 2025 at 12:38 AM
A couple of VERY Jersey guys behind me have apparently bet a lot on BYU, and I’m not sure there’s been this much profanity screamed in support of Mormons before
Admittedly, I'm not an expert, but I thought ALL bras were two-packs.
March 25, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Admittedly, I'm not an expert, but I thought ALL bras were two-packs.