Jesse (🐊’s kitten)
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kiryusmalewife.gay
Jesse (🐊’s kitten)
@kiryusmalewife.gay
230 followers 780 following 2.7K posts
Actually a cat irl. Polyamorous lover of hot old men. Proudly trans and intersex. 💍 to Kiryu, hyper fixated on RGG and One Piece. 🔞 PFP: lunareden.bsky.social
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kiryusmalewife.gay
Anyway my sister got me some of the light saber chopsticks and they’re cool and exactly what I wanted in my life right now.
A picture of said chopsticks. They look like tiny light sabers. These ones are blue. They glow VERY brightly in the dark.
November 29, 2025 at 2:09 AM
kiryusmalewife.gay
“Sorry I’m late to work. There was a kitty.”
A picture of a very fluffy tabby I saw.
November 26, 2025 at 1:48 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
The thing they don’t tell you about being a very long boy with very long legs is that you be bumping the funny bone of your knee into shit and it really, really hurts.
A cat who is biting a cord and has sad little crying eyes as if in pain.
November 24, 2025 at 9:57 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
You can’t see the roasted garlic sauce I made for this ham sammy, but it’s there and it fucks.
A picture of a sandwich made of thick toast, several thick slices of smoked spiral ham, and a layer of cheddar cheese between each layer of ham.
November 23, 2025 at 5:35 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Oh shit we got Thanksgiving at work today. Texas does have some redeeming qualities.
A tray full of BBQ brisket, turkey, and sausage. A tray full of thick, toasted bread can also be seen.
November 21, 2025 at 6:34 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Me: *sneezes*

Heidi:
November 20, 2025 at 11:36 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
I roasted a turkey this weekend and it turned out so well that I didn’t really carve it afterward so much as gently tug the bones out.

I was like that black guy with the ribs on tiktok.
A picture of a pink Tupperware tub full of turkey. You can also see the skin, which has formed a nice, dark crust. A picture of a plate with very clean bones on it.
November 16, 2025 at 11:44 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Me after having a really nice conversation with the incredibly cute doctor I get my vaccines from and low key have a tiny crush on.
A pretty orange and white cat has a cute, happy little smile and is blushing with little sparkles.
November 14, 2025 at 11:28 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Without downloading new pictures, describe your gender.
A cute, petite little hand wearing pink beaded bracelets and doing the rocker symbol is labeled “Me”. Next to it is a huge, manly hand wearing a black spiked bracelet and doing the rocker symbol. It is labeled “Also me”.
November 13, 2025 at 1:28 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Listen it’s fine, it doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t.

But the kerning on this is so awful lmao. I hate it so much.
A cropped picture of my tablet screen showing the deaths counter from Ray’s Demon’s Souls stream. It says “DEATHS:24” The space between the A and the T is way bigger than any other space and there’s no space at all between the : and the number.
November 11, 2025 at 6:57 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
That hour in the bathtub healed me.
An orange cat just chilling in a bathtub. The caption says “unbothered. moisturized. happy. in my lane. focused. flourishing.”
November 11, 2025 at 1:34 AM
kiryusmalewife.gay
I had one (1) tiny thing go wrong today that really upset me, so I made myself a dinner of snacks.

I can have a little salami, as a treat.
A picture of a vet tech or something holding a pretty orange cat who looks a bit sad. The cat’s name is Cry Baby.
November 10, 2025 at 11:56 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
I feel like garbage today and yet I am compelled to do work. What cruel god would subject a good little boy to such a terrible fate?
A picture of a very pretty grey, orange, and white cat in someone’s arms who looks like the saddest kitty in the whole world.
November 10, 2025 at 7:14 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Image on the top right perfectly cropped to capture my attention. This is all I needed to be immediately invested. This game is looking breas- I mean boob- I mean great.
A screen shot of the Gravehearts post. The image of the very large man on the top right is perfectly cropped to show only his hairy chest and arms.
November 8, 2025 at 4:08 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Say hello to the roughly 50 lbs of turkey I impulsively bought for $25.
Two bigass whole frozen turkeys sitting in the back of my car.
November 7, 2025 at 11:34 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING LMAO
A screen shot of my team in Legends ZA that just shows Zygarde and two shiny dratinis.
November 6, 2025 at 9:03 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
SO JUST IMMEDIATELY AGAIN, HUH??
A screen shot of Legends ZA that shows a shiny dratini spawned in.
November 6, 2025 at 7:57 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Oh okay so just immediately, huh?
A screen shot of Legends ZA where a shiny goomy is sitting on a bridge.
November 6, 2025 at 6:50 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
There’s my little man.
A screen shot of a shiny pichu’s summary page in Legends ZA.
November 6, 2025 at 3:43 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Environmental story telling.
It’s my Walmart cart and it has two items in it: Stress relief lavender honey tea and wasp killer spray.
November 3, 2025 at 4:27 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Ma’am??
A shitty picture of a screen showing Pokemon XY. An older woman NPC is saying, “I wish that I were a Pokemon. Then I could live every day with him…”
November 2, 2025 at 1:44 AM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Look at that old ass bitch. 💖
November 2, 2025 at 12:47 AM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Hello, Zach. How’s your level 8 slowpoke doin?
A picture of a taxi cap driver from Pokemon XY, who is clearly Zach in Legends ZA.
November 1, 2025 at 6:53 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
FUCK YOU MEAN GOLURK CAN LEARN FLY???
A blurry, shitty photo of a screen that shows me attempting to teach a Pokemon fly in XY. The available candidates are noibat and golurk??
November 1, 2025 at 4:10 PM
kiryusmalewife.gay
Slightly better pictures of the head and costume. Lol my phone camera was bad back then though so… not GOOD pictures. But better.
A close up of the rabbit head. It is black with beady red eyes. A picture of the costume on a bust that shows the details.
October 31, 2025 at 9:06 PM