Barry de Live
@kidmoe.bsky.social
I’m not “good” at “social media” or meeting “people” or using “air quotes” correctly, so this account is mostly just a repository for dumb jokes I think of while at work. But if you’re not a bot or an OF account I will most likely follow back.
Me: I’m as happy as a clam
The clam: Ah, fuck! Fuck you piece of shit! I fucking hate the taste of salt water!
The clam: Ah, fuck! Fuck you piece of shit! I fucking hate the taste of salt water!
November 10, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Me: I’m as happy as a clam
The clam: Ah, fuck! Fuck you piece of shit! I fucking hate the taste of salt water!
The clam: Ah, fuck! Fuck you piece of shit! I fucking hate the taste of salt water!
Sigh into the void. Eyeroll at the void.
November 7, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Sigh into the void. Eyeroll at the void.
Abolish Ice? I abolished your mom’s ice last night! Haaaaa, but seriously folks, ICE should be abolished immediately.
June 14, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Abolish Ice? I abolished your mom’s ice last night! Haaaaa, but seriously folks, ICE should be abolished immediately.
We forgot to get the cat’s permission to move into a new apartment
May 12, 2025 at 5:49 PM
We forgot to get the cat’s permission to move into a new apartment
A PowerPoint presentation describing why I’m like this (62 slides)
May 12, 2025 at 5:42 PM
A PowerPoint presentation describing why I’m like this (62 slides)
Old Spice Spicy Nacho body scrub
April 19, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Old Spice Spicy Nacho body scrub
You love jazz, and you’ve heard of jizz… Now get ready for… JEZZ!!!
April 6, 2025 at 4:02 AM
You love jazz, and you’ve heard of jizz… Now get ready for… JEZZ!!!
How do I know if my emotions are AI?
March 28, 2025 at 5:57 AM
How do I know if my emotions are AI?
I tried to donate $50 to AOC, but I got confused and accidentally donated twice, for a total of $100. So I guess what I’m saying is I’m a political mega-donor now.
March 28, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I tried to donate $50 to AOC, but I got confused and accidentally donated twice, for a total of $100. So I guess what I’m saying is I’m a political mega-donor now.
::yacht rock voice::
🎵 Baby come back,
You can blame it all on me,
I was hungry
And now I’ve had some tater tots
🎵 Baby come back,
You can blame it all on me,
I was hungry
And now I’ve had some tater tots
March 22, 2025 at 11:46 PM
::yacht rock voice::
🎵 Baby come back,
You can blame it all on me,
I was hungry
And now I’ve had some tater tots
🎵 Baby come back,
You can blame it all on me,
I was hungry
And now I’ve had some tater tots
::John and Yoko voice::
🎵 All we are saaayyying,
Is give me some ham
🎵 All we are saaayyying,
Is give me some ham
March 14, 2025 at 10:24 PM
::John and Yoko voice::
🎵 All we are saaayyying,
Is give me some ham
🎵 All we are saaayyying,
Is give me some ham
::Bangles voice::
🎵 Close your eyes,
Give me your ham,
Darlin’
🎵 Close your eyes,
Give me your ham,
Darlin’
March 14, 2025 at 9:40 PM
::Bangles voice::
🎵 Close your eyes,
Give me your ham,
Darlin’
🎵 Close your eyes,
Give me your ham,
Darlin’
Poopin’ to Pat Benatar: An Office Bathroom Saga
March 13, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Poopin’ to Pat Benatar: An Office Bathroom Saga
New terrors just dropped
March 1, 2025 at 7:30 PM
New terrors just dropped
I bet a chicken couldn’t even fucking fly with boneless wings
February 17, 2025 at 11:22 PM
I bet a chicken couldn’t even fucking fly with boneless wings
A mimosa can be made with Tang, in an emergency situation
February 17, 2025 at 11:15 PM
A mimosa can be made with Tang, in an emergency situation
I think my skeleton is mad at me
February 17, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I think my skeleton is mad at me
In spite of it all I am sitting on a beach, vibing.
February 16, 2025 at 3:17 PM
In spite of it all I am sitting on a beach, vibing.
Reposted by Barry de Live
I dialed myself up online today.
February 5, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I dialed myself up online today.
I finally came up with my professional wrestling name. But you have to ask me what it is
February 1, 2025 at 5:29 AM
I finally came up with my professional wrestling name. But you have to ask me what it is
LIFE HACK: wear edible underwear to the movie theater so you don’t have to pay exorbitant prices at concession.
January 31, 2025 at 4:10 PM
LIFE HACK: wear edible underwear to the movie theater so you don’t have to pay exorbitant prices at concession.
The worst part about American democracy’s imminent collapse is that it’s making it harder for me to come up with funny shitposts.
January 29, 2025 at 3:15 PM
The worst part about American democracy’s imminent collapse is that it’s making it harder for me to come up with funny shitposts.
The One Where Ross Does 9/11
January 28, 2025 at 3:19 AM
The One Where Ross Does 9/11
Endless Heavy Sighing
- the title of my wife’s biography, probably
- the title of my wife’s biography, probably
January 14, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Endless Heavy Sighing
- the title of my wife’s biography, probably
- the title of my wife’s biography, probably