Keltus Bastimus
@keltus-bastimus.bsky.social
Mild mannered gentleman motorcyclist. Happily retired fan of whisky, married to the fastest class 1 advanced at everything most gorgeous woman in the world.
Me. I'm a good Dad and husband*. I'm 60, comfortable in my own skin, and have a mental age of about 18.
*I can provide proof if required 😊
*I can provide proof if required 😊
December 7, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Me. I'm a good Dad and husband*. I'm 60, comfortable in my own skin, and have a mental age of about 18.
*I can provide proof if required 😊
*I can provide proof if required 😊
I'll be a bit sad when we've finished moving everything and have to sell No. 5. It's great having two houses next to each other. Especially when it's beer day 😁
December 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I'll be a bit sad when we've finished moving everything and have to sell No. 5. It's great having two houses next to each other. Especially when it's beer day 😁
It *is* a Christmas film 😊
December 1, 2025 at 9:58 AM
It *is* a Christmas film 😊
That's me signed up for next year, I'm fit enough to marshal again! First one BSB at Knockhill 😁
November 23, 2025 at 6:47 PM
That's me signed up for next year, I'm fit enough to marshal again! First one BSB at Knockhill 😁
Thanks! Just using the Insta360 software drives me crackers 😊 I'll give it a go. This was the last time I tried it, and the last time I rode a bike before the cancer treatment floored me. I'm alright now though 😁
November 21, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Thanks! Just using the Insta360 software drives me crackers 😊 I'll give it a go. This was the last time I tried it, and the last time I rode a bike before the cancer treatment floored me. I'm alright now though 😁
I'm quite a shy retiring person as well, don't like drawing attention to myself 😁
November 20, 2025 at 11:42 AM
I'm quite a shy retiring person as well, don't like drawing attention to myself 😁
Bonjour! Il fait un froid de canard !
November 18, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Bonjour! Il fait un froid de canard !
Scared to Dance? Moi? Arrived today, Dunfermline Athletic away strip, basically the cover of the Skids first album. Takes me right back to the 1970s and the Kinema Ballroom 😎
November 17, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Scared to Dance? Moi? Arrived today, Dunfermline Athletic away strip, basically the cover of the Skids first album. Takes me right back to the 1970s and the Kinema Ballroom 😎
I wish I was gay, I'd bum you to high heaven. Aren't dogs brilliant? Pip, this morning.
November 17, 2025 at 12:21 PM
I wish I was gay, I'd bum you to high heaven. Aren't dogs brilliant? Pip, this morning.
Good morning! Yes, I know, Pip, it does look like someone's dropped a nuke on France but it's probably just the sun coming up.
November 17, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Good morning! Yes, I know, Pip, it does look like someone's dropped a nuke on France but it's probably just the sun coming up.
I even still have the models. Excuse the big black thing in the background, it's a 4 D cell Maglite, it's dark here & I'd taken Pip for a walk, & moved it from my chair.
November 16, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I even still have the models. Excuse the big black thing in the background, it's a 4 D cell Maglite, it's dark here & I'd taken Pip for a walk, & moved it from my chair.
This won't mean much to any non UK viewers, but it's an annual thing where famous rich people who could afford to finance a couple of orphanages/hospitals each go on tv & sob & beg the hoi polloi to give all their money to charity.
November 14, 2025 at 5:14 PM
This won't mean much to any non UK viewers, but it's an annual thing where famous rich people who could afford to finance a couple of orphanages/hospitals each go on tv & sob & beg the hoi polloi to give all their money to charity.
I'll say one thing for weapons grade mead. Don't drink it if you plan on doing anything the next day other than going out in a howling gale/pouring rain with a dog 😁
November 10, 2025 at 4:27 PM
I'll say one thing for weapons grade mead. Don't drink it if you plan on doing anything the next day other than going out in a howling gale/pouring rain with a dog 😁
Without googling, post a Shakespeare quote.
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
November 10, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Without googling, post a Shakespeare quote.
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
Compare and contrast. This morning and three years ago.
November 10, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Compare and contrast. This morning and three years ago.
France 1917, Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. Grandad bottom left with bayonet after a night raid. Some are wearing & carrying German kit. Auld Harry told me that WWI was the best time of his life, food, wine, women, laughs, only some fighting to do to liven things up.
November 10, 2025 at 6:57 AM
France 1917, Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. Grandad bottom left with bayonet after a night raid. Some are wearing & carrying German kit. Auld Harry told me that WWI was the best time of his life, food, wine, women, laughs, only some fighting to do to liven things up.
A gentle reminder that God gives AIDS to an African baby and kills a kitten every time someone puts up a Christmas tree in November.
November 2, 2025 at 9:51 PM
A gentle reminder that God gives AIDS to an African baby and kills a kitten every time someone puts up a Christmas tree in November.
Christening the new kitchen/extension 🥰
October 27, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Christening the new kitchen/extension 🥰
Morning! That's the mead on. 8lbs of honey, warm water, and a packet of turbo yeast. Bubbling furiously, I haven't bothered checking the OG, I know from previous batches it'll be around 20% abv.
October 25, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Morning! That's the mead on. 8lbs of honey, warm water, and a packet of turbo yeast. Bubbling furiously, I haven't bothered checking the OG, I know from previous batches it'll be around 20% abv.
Morning! Environment Agency bulldozers are out, building shore defences. I maintain that must be one of the best jobs in the world on a day like this, driving a bulldozer on a beach 😊
October 21, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Morning! Environment Agency bulldozers are out, building shore defences. I maintain that must be one of the best jobs in the world on a day like this, driving a bulldozer on a beach 😊
Ne T'inequète. Les flics will have their best man on the job.
October 21, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Ne T'inequète. Les flics will have their best man on the job.
Happy Trafalgar day! Hearts of Oak.
October 21, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Happy Trafalgar day! Hearts of Oak.
Heh. After all the weight loss I now fit into my early 90s Fieldsheer leathers again 😁
October 16, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Heh. After all the weight loss I now fit into my early 90s Fieldsheer leathers again 😁
A haiku, on shopping.
Oh fucking rats cocks
I forgot to buy pastry
I'll have to make some.
Oh fucking rats cocks
I forgot to buy pastry
I'll have to make some.
October 12, 2025 at 9:42 AM
A haiku, on shopping.
Oh fucking rats cocks
I forgot to buy pastry
I'll have to make some.
Oh fucking rats cocks
I forgot to buy pastry
I'll have to make some.