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katietwohands.bsky.social
KatieTwoHands
@katietwohands.bsky.social
330 followers 120 following 650 posts
I have two hands and I’m kind of dumb
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katietwohands.bsky.social
View up the stairs inside a house, black cat perched on a very weird little carpeted landing next to a window, looking down like he’s the king of stuff
September 14, 2025 at 2:50 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
We all got that one traitorous homie who doesn’t get the reference
One panel comic of two people talking, the first looks shocked/sad and is saying “et tu, Brute?” The second rolls her eyes and responds “huh? Quit being silly, I’m saying that me and the guys are betraying you!”
July 14, 2025 at 5:09 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Small dog sitting on the couch, his chin perched bizarrely on a folded throw pillow. He looks very princely and his ears are much too big Small dog lying on his back on the bed, looking like a mix between a baked potato and a hedgehog showing its belly
July 5, 2025 at 3:36 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
We match today
Photo of me sitting on the stairs with a cat next to me. We’re both looking at the camera, I’m wearing a black tank top with a small white adidas logo in the middle of the chest, my cat is black with a little white mark on his chest. So we are twins now, in addition to being best friends
July 1, 2025 at 4:10 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
It’s Bucket
Small dog (I think some mix of chihuahua/dachshund/italian greyhound) being so little and sweet under a blanket on the couch
June 21, 2025 at 3:38 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Meme from Donnie Darko, Donnie says “I’m having an exciting Friday night with my friends”. His mom says “with your friends or with a bowl of yogurt?”. Donnie, deflated, says “bowl of yogurt”
June 21, 2025 at 3:27 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Getting crushed by these paragraphs from Snow Crash (1992)
All these beefy caucasians with guns! Get enough of them together, looking for the America they always believed they’d grow up in, and they glom together like overcooked rice, form integral, starchy little units. With their power tools, portable generators, weapons, four-wheel-drive-vehicles, and personal computers, they are like beavers hyped up on crystal meth, manic engineers without a blueprint, chewing through the wilderness, building things and abandoning them, altering the flow of mighty rivers and then moving on because the place ain’t what it used to be. The byproduct of the lifestyle is polluted rivers, greenhouse effect, spouse abuse, televangelists, and serial killers. But as long as you have that four-wheel-drive vehicle and can keep driving north, you can sustain it, keep moving just quickly enough to stay one step ahead of your own waste stream. In twenty years, ten million white people will converge on the North Pole and park their bagos there. The low-grade waste heat of their thermodynamically intense lifestyle will turn the crystalline icescape pliable and treacherous. It will melt a hole through the polar icecap, and all that metal will sink to the bottom, sucking the biomass down with it.
June 11, 2025 at 10:45 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Guess I gotta make an indie rock album now that I took this picture
Photo of my reflection in a really dirty (on the outside) window. The sun is shining directly on my face with a horizontal stripe shadow across my lower nose/upper lip. The view from outside (blurred, sun dappled red and green leaves) shows up in half of my hair, looks like a cool double exposure
May 4, 2025 at 2:49 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I screenprinted this a couple days ago on black paper and then realized I was wearing a white sweatshirt that already had ink on it, so
Screen print in pink, red, and gray ink on black paper. Image contains three lines of text separated by big scribbles. First line says “we all see it happening” with a loopy loose scribble, second line says “and it keeps happening” with a busier, stressful scribble, third line says “and it just keeps happening” with a thick, messy, dark scribble. Screen print in pink, red, and gray ink on white sweatshirt. Image contains three lines of text separated by big scribbles. First line says “we all see it happening” with a loopy loose scribble, second line says “and it keeps happening” with a busier, stressful scribble, third line says “and it just keeps happening” with a thick, messy, dark scribble.
March 13, 2025 at 4:52 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
My house contains two distinguished gentlemen
Small dog lying in bed, head up off the pillow looking past the camera. His upper lip is caught on a tooth or something so he looks very rumpled and doofy Black cat with a white patch on his belly lying on his back on the floor, back legs splayed and a very wide-eyed concerned look on his face
March 7, 2025 at 4:15 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
And here’s one I made a few years ago that’s also about all using our eyes at the same time
Image of a drawing (mostly pastel pencil, some acrylic paint accents) on toned maroon paper. Strangely proportioned animals (rat standing on two long legs, turtle with an extremely long neck, a cat with a long neck that leans back and crosses over its long tail) stand facing the viewer. A spider is on the cat’s back and a bird is hovering above, wings out. Each animal is drawn with a different color and pattern, but they all have neon green eyes looking directly at the viewer and are all smiling with tons of little tiny teeth showing. All caps text above/below the intersection of the cat’s neck and tail reads “we all woke up at the same time”
March 4, 2025 at 6:56 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Here’s something I made, it could be about a lot of things
All caps text reads “we all see it happening”, under that is a snaky, loopy, loose scribble. Below that another line of text reads “and it keeps happening”, followed by a busier, darker, more frenetic scribble. Below that another line of text reads “and it just keeps happening”, then a really dark and heavy scribble.
March 4, 2025 at 6:49 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Photo evidence of tinky tiny:
Photo of me sitting on the floor in front of the couch, my little dog has his back legs on the couch, his chest resting on my shoulder and his legs hanging in front of me. He’s just so little My sweet tiny dog curled up like an angelic peanut
February 24, 2025 at 6:53 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
New comic about me and my dog
Very scribbly procreate comic, light teal gray background with brown, pink, and yellow accents, marks look like scratchy pencil. Top shows a weird doodle person leaning over to a small dog and saying “my tinky!”, below that the person is reaching to pick up the dog and saying “my tiny!”. Below that the doodle person is holding/squeezing the dog, who looks vaguely uncomfortable, saying “MY TINKY TINY!!”
February 24, 2025 at 6:42 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I made a valentine, DM it to your crush
Procreate drawing, gray background with a kind of spiderweb shape in the middle, it looks like flaps of white canvas are being held open by black and orange pegs. In the middle opening there’s a teal background with blue, pink, and yellow confetti, and plain black text reading “I have a crush on you” and (slightly smaller) “and we’re both grown ups”
February 14, 2025 at 5:36 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I made a valentine, DM it to your crush
Image background is red with a yellow grid over it. Scratchy cursive text, in teal, reads “it’s not too late to be in love with me”. A black and white striped snake with a dumb little happy face winds around the words.
February 13, 2025 at 5:15 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I made a valentine, DM it to your crush
Salmon pink background with red text reading “I’ve actually been feeling really good about my body lately”. Under the text is a drawing of a really strangely proportioned person with giant eyes, nude and posing awkwardly. Below the person more red text reads “perhaps you’d like to sample”
February 13, 2025 at 4:23 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I made a valentine, DM it to your crush
Pale yellow background with an olive green squiggle around it. Small pink hearts in the corners. Inside the squiggle, pink handwritten text reads “I’m not tired of being alone, I’m just ready to love somebody (also - horny)”. This is a good one to communicate that your obvious desperation is actually healthy and good.
February 11, 2025 at 7:16 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I made a valentine, DM it to your crush
Geometric and stupid image, kind of “graphic design is my passion” vibe. Cloudy yellow/orange background. Two black rectangles float, the one on the left above the one on the right, a white oval outline sits on top at an angle. Inside the white oval are three red dots, the middle is the smallest and has bright green petals. Blue and yellow angular squiggles are in the top left and bottom right corners. The bottom left and top right corners have pink triangles. In the black squares italicized yellow text reads “uh oh” on the left and “horny :)” on the right.
February 11, 2025 at 6:02 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Closeup:
A close-up (really just zoomed/cropped) of those nice mosses/lichens/mushrooms on my friend, the branch that fell down in my yard
February 1, 2025 at 5:24 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
A nice branch fell down to bring its textures to me
Photo of a fallen tree branch lying in the grass. It’s covered in different colors/textures of lichen, moss, and mushrooms and it looks reeeeaaaally cool.
February 1, 2025 at 5:23 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
These boots are made for walkin’
January 24, 2025 at 8:28 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
Is this a real person? What is this?
Screenshot of Bluesky DM conversation. Random user: “hey, I really like your picture and if you let me, I would make such an amazing mural out of it! If you don’t mind this picture could be my inspiring muse for an art project I’m working on for a client. You will totally get paid for it as well as bonus also get credits” Me: “hi, thanks for reaching out! I’d prefer this image not be re-used or repurposed. But enjoy working on your art project!” Me (the next day): “okay I was grumpy last night and was maybe hasty in saying no. I’m not totally sure, but I do want to ask the details of what you’re planning/how you’d want to use the image!” Screenshot of Bluesky DM Random user: “I was thinking about using the picture on your profile for the Art piece if that’s fine by you? Basically I’m on an art project which is for a client that is meant for inspiration muse and I was asked to look for someone to paint and then I was peeping through profiles then I saw your profile and I got so much confidence in your beauty [smiling face with little hearts emoji] and I’m pretty sure my client is gonna be so happy [smiling angel emoji]. Great! I was really looking forward to working with you. For the painting I would be doing an oil on canvas, 50cm x 50cm long portrait painting, my client intends to make payments as soon as possible. So the piece can be completed before next week and I can also send you a copy of it when it’s done” Me: “which picture on my profile?” Screenshot of Bluesky DM Me: “which picture on my profile?” Random: “you are mad [angry emoji]” Me: “no, but I am confused” Random: “your profile picture and why did you change it again huh” [note: I did not change my profile picture] Me: “I didn’t, but I think we’re done here. Please don’t use any of my images” Random: “no I’m not. So are you interested or not” Me: “I am not interested, please don’t use any of my images” This user has blocked you
January 22, 2025 at 5:21 PM
katietwohands.bsky.social
I made some stuff for my house (just the stuff on the wall, I don’t know how to make benches or plants or dogs yet)
Photo of a wall of my house - my little dog is standing on a bench looking at the camera quizzically, two plants on identical plant stands are on either side. Above that, on the wall, hangs a painted board with four fan blades hanging down from it with color coordinated geometric shapes. On each side of the board is a large different colored papier mache face, each has a speech bubble that together read “do you hear it? Are you listening?”
January 21, 2025 at 1:38 AM
katietwohands.bsky.social
When I used to work in schools I shared a room with an afterschool program that had made this huge MLK mural thing. One of my students, age 4, looked at it thoughtfully, and then asked “is that your dad?”
Huge portrait of Martin Luther King Jr drawn by elementary students - each drew part of the total image on a sheet of paper, the whole thing is 24 squares of paper assembled into one big mosaic/mural thing on the wall
January 20, 2025 at 11:52 PM