Sorry for this, I'll just have to try even harder next time

I really tried, and I'm really pushing myself, but I'm only pushing my luck now.

I was never lucky, I'm just pushing for nothing

and I feel like I've had too many breaks, yet I feel like I need one

I don't really know what to do, even though I've got so much.

Once I try to do anything I only feel disappointed by the outcome, or my best was just not enough, it's never enough.

Chlo please explain what this means

I don't

this is for the greater good