It's fine, live your lives, I'll just keep posting bangers that nobody sees

Accidentally put CBD drops in my morning greens drink instead of Vitamin D drops and I’m having the best day!

I keep my scissors in the same drawer with all my charger cords to intimidate them so they don’t tangle.

Spoiler Alert:

It starts out all “Here’s some gold, Frankenstein, and Merv Griffin”, but then they kill him at Easter.

Beef Wellington is just a corn dog from a different socioeconomic background.

Remember when we were hiking high up in the Andes and a bird crapped on my breast so we named the lake after it?

Those Box Tops that raise money for schools should really be on wine labels.

There are so many bad covers of old 80s and 90s songs. Can't we have the original artists redo them, maybe updated with age appropriate lyrics? Like Paula A's Opposites Attract would go something like "Was it 3 steps forward, or 2 steps back? I couldn't tell you 'cause my Fitbit didn't track."

The news outlets are talking about how the UHC CEO assassin stopped at Starbucks, but they don't say what he got. You know it was a killer order. #badpun #comedy