this science stuff is sooooooo hard to understand, i have to create so many little visuals and metaphors for myself to get it

if i wrote a bodybuilding manual, it would be so poetic 🦋

getting surgery end of march, you better believe i'm making the most of the next four months in the gym

why does dracula look like willy wonka

i've had to sit w/a lawyer & prove i maintained appropriate professional distance to sources to ensure a story saw the light of day - a thing most str8 journalists will never have to do

sucks that being queer means i get held to a higher ethical standard, but truly - more ppl need to raise theirs

i'm always saying this

wait, at what part of the roll do you stop?!?!?!

i'm gonna pull a muscle rolling my eyes

my other evil demon child slept on me most of the day even though i was coughing constantly -- shocking because he is the more evil one

but it's fifteen minutes to dinner, no more rules of order

desiccated meatball solidarity

last year i had to miss foodman because i was coughing my brains out from this exact problem

you'd THINK that would've been a harsh enough lesson. alas!!!