Jpsh
@jpsh.bsky.social
my skeets will vary wildly from vulgar to serious to mundane • BLM • he/him/his • crypto fans: don't interact
"my cabbages" is the same joke as "my leg" but it's just different Nickelodeon IP
November 25, 2025 at 1:59 PM
"my cabbages" is the same joke as "my leg" but it's just different Nickelodeon IP
Cirkul is basically vapes for your water
October 23, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Cirkul is basically vapes for your water
Me: "...it's mid-afternoon..."
Afternoon: "Okay first of all, rude."
Afternoon: "Okay first of all, rude."
October 12, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Me: "...it's mid-afternoon..."
Afternoon: "Okay first of all, rude."
Afternoon: "Okay first of all, rude."
"He's in the corner, fingering his duduk"
September 20, 2025 at 1:59 AM
"He's in the corner, fingering his duduk"
Hot take oatmeal raisin cookies are good, actually
September 10, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Hot take oatmeal raisin cookies are good, actually
Plants: *evolve capsaicin to prevent mammals from eating*
Humans: Pain! I love pain! *Creates entire economies around cultivating chilis*
Plants: *evolve caffeine as defense mechanism*
Humans: THIS! I love *this.* You've done it again, plants!
Humans: Pain! I love pain! *Creates entire economies around cultivating chilis*
Plants: *evolve caffeine as defense mechanism*
Humans: THIS! I love *this.* You've done it again, plants!
September 2, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Plants: *evolve capsaicin to prevent mammals from eating*
Humans: Pain! I love pain! *Creates entire economies around cultivating chilis*
Plants: *evolve caffeine as defense mechanism*
Humans: THIS! I love *this.* You've done it again, plants!
Humans: Pain! I love pain! *Creates entire economies around cultivating chilis*
Plants: *evolve caffeine as defense mechanism*
Humans: THIS! I love *this.* You've done it again, plants!
Hear me out, Retvrnposting but for before November 2024
August 22, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Hear me out, Retvrnposting but for before November 2024
If you enjoy The Big Bang Theory or Young Sheldon, that's a massive red flag.
August 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
If you enjoy The Big Bang Theory or Young Sheldon, that's a massive red flag.
🎵Uh huh, that's my shit...🎶 your toilet wouldn't flush so
August 7, 2025 at 1:28 AM
🎵Uh huh, that's my shit...🎶 your toilet wouldn't flush so
Come back to this post when the White House creates its own peace prize and awards it to That Guy
August 4, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Come back to this post when the White House creates its own peace prize and awards it to That Guy
Never ever allow anyone who unironically calls himself an "alpha male" to be alone with a woman.
August 1, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Never ever allow anyone who unironically calls himself an "alpha male" to be alone with a woman.
Core memory: using my Motorola Krzr as a USB modem for my laptop. It would accept AT commands. It was 2g and it natively worked and I loved it.
August 1, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Core memory: using my Motorola Krzr as a USB modem for my laptop. It would accept AT commands. It was 2g and it natively worked and I loved it.
Listening to Pictures of You by The Cure. One line stuck out to me: "...I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel" and realized he meant physical photographs. And the lack of physical touch with the subject of said photos. He wasn't singing about digital photos on a screen in 1990.
July 30, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Listening to Pictures of You by The Cure. One line stuck out to me: "...I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel" and realized he meant physical photographs. And the lack of physical touch with the subject of said photos. He wasn't singing about digital photos on a screen in 1990.
If you don't want to be called a racist when you die, start by not being a racist
July 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
If you don't want to be called a racist when you die, start by not being a racist
When you're a person in the public eye, and someone does a takedown parody, laser-focused on *you*, the classy thing to do is acknowledge it and move on. What shitty people with no sense of humor do is cry about it on social media. Or get litigious.
July 25, 2025 at 2:42 AM
When you're a person in the public eye, and someone does a takedown parody, laser-focused on *you*, the classy thing to do is acknowledge it and move on. What shitty people with no sense of humor do is cry about it on social media. Or get litigious.
Every vagina haver deserves a Hitachi Magic Wand and every penis haver deserves a Fleshlight. And if that weirds you out, and you're not asexual, think about why.
July 18, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Every vagina haver deserves a Hitachi Magic Wand and every penis haver deserves a Fleshlight. And if that weirds you out, and you're not asexual, think about why.
Every time someone complains like, "How am I supposed to explain _____ (trans people, non binary people, queer people, etc) to my kids remember: Taylor Lautner married Taylor Lautner.
July 16, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Every time someone complains like, "How am I supposed to explain _____ (trans people, non binary people, queer people, etc) to my kids remember: Taylor Lautner married Taylor Lautner.
Reposted by Jpsh
A cruel angel's thesis implies a cruel angel's comps exam
June 26, 2025 at 2:21 AM
A cruel angel's thesis implies a cruel angel's comps exam
I just realized that if James Somerton had been able to use ChatGPT we probably wouldn't have noticed. That is unsettling.
June 24, 2025 at 1:45 PM
I just realized that if James Somerton had been able to use ChatGPT we probably wouldn't have noticed. That is unsettling.
Why is Will Smith still making music like this? Honey, we're only 2.5% into the Willennium.
June 22, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Why is Will Smith still making music like this? Honey, we're only 2.5% into the Willennium.
Zoomer humor: loud = funny. Millennial humor: repeating things = funny
June 18, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Zoomer humor: loud = funny. Millennial humor: repeating things = funny
We may have already reached the Rickroll inflection point. The first Rickrolls started to appear around 2006. Never Gonna Give You Up was 1987. 2006 - 1987 = 19. 2025 - 2006 = 19.
June 18, 2025 at 12:03 AM
We may have already reached the Rickroll inflection point. The first Rickrolls started to appear around 2006. Never Gonna Give You Up was 1987. 2006 - 1987 = 19. 2025 - 2006 = 19.
Think about it, he can't deport him because he's a white South African.
June 6, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Think about it, he can't deport him because he's a white South African.