@joycehaven.bsky.social
Forest🌲 dwelling formerly cosmopolitan ambivert who crawls out of her mossy hut to occasionally make tart commentary about fashion, wear tiaras for no good reason, play the harp, make hats, and eat cheese.🧀
When your bestie asks you to remind her of her favorite #FrenchWine in the middle of the night.
I'm not sure how "Sarlaac" sounds like " #Sauternes ," but here we are.
I later suggested she might also like a #Saussignac because it has fewer teeth than a Sarlaac,but she accused me of making it up.
I'm not sure how "Sarlaac" sounds like " #Sauternes ," but here we are.
I later suggested she might also like a #Saussignac because it has fewer teeth than a Sarlaac,but she accused me of making it up.
July 16, 2025 at 7:20 AM
When your bestie asks you to remind her of her favorite #FrenchWine in the middle of the night.
I'm not sure how "Sarlaac" sounds like " #Sauternes ," but here we are.
I later suggested she might also like a #Saussignac because it has fewer teeth than a Sarlaac,but she accused me of making it up.
I'm not sure how "Sarlaac" sounds like " #Sauternes ," but here we are.
I later suggested she might also like a #Saussignac because it has fewer teeth than a Sarlaac,but she accused me of making it up.
I've never felt older than night before last when I used my cocktail shaker to mix up one of those green antioxidant powdered drink mixes.
Yesterday morning, I expected the Party Police to show up in all of their disco splendor and pull my Party Princess status card🚨🪩🚨
Yesterday morning, I expected the Party Police to show up in all of their disco splendor and pull my Party Princess status card🚨🪩🚨
July 16, 2025 at 6:07 AM
I've never felt older than night before last when I used my cocktail shaker to mix up one of those green antioxidant powdered drink mixes.
Yesterday morning, I expected the Party Police to show up in all of their disco splendor and pull my Party Princess status card🚨🪩🚨
Yesterday morning, I expected the Party Police to show up in all of their disco splendor and pull my Party Princess status card🚨🪩🚨
With those aluminum tariffs I hope the GOP can get used to buying their natty light in Capri Sun pouches.
March 16, 2025 at 3:47 AM
With those aluminum tariffs I hope the GOP can get used to buying their natty light in Capri Sun pouches.
🤦🏼♀️I do one search for 432hz music for meditation and I'm now inundated with ads for microdosing🍄 while doing yoga.
Please, people. I'm 55 and shaped like a baby Harp Seal🦭.
I have to be stone cold sober and drink 3 extra quarts of water a day for a week before I attempt downward dog or Warrior 1.
Please, people. I'm 55 and shaped like a baby Harp Seal🦭.
I have to be stone cold sober and drink 3 extra quarts of water a day for a week before I attempt downward dog or Warrior 1.
February 25, 2025 at 11:42 PM
🤦🏼♀️I do one search for 432hz music for meditation and I'm now inundated with ads for microdosing🍄 while doing yoga.
Please, people. I'm 55 and shaped like a baby Harp Seal🦭.
I have to be stone cold sober and drink 3 extra quarts of water a day for a week before I attempt downward dog or Warrior 1.
Please, people. I'm 55 and shaped like a baby Harp Seal🦭.
I have to be stone cold sober and drink 3 extra quarts of water a day for a week before I attempt downward dog or Warrior 1.
The last few weeks have been a #Dunning-Kruger masterclass.
February 6, 2025 at 3:22 AM
The last few weeks have been a #Dunning-Kruger masterclass.
🪿We were tootling along on our way home from a little 🍣sushi fest when I noticed some small signs sticking up out of a ditch along the road.
January 18, 2025 at 1:01 AM
🪿We were tootling along on our way home from a little 🍣sushi fest when I noticed some small signs sticking up out of a ditch along the road.
Reposted
Sincerely delighted to discover, 45 minutes into this nearly-wordless three-hour documentary about French monks who take vows of silence, that among the reasons they *can* talk is "to make sure the monastery cats know when it's mealtime by making little kitty-calling noises at them."
January 11, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Sincerely delighted to discover, 45 minutes into this nearly-wordless three-hour documentary about French monks who take vows of silence, that among the reasons they *can* talk is "to make sure the monastery cats know when it's mealtime by making little kitty-calling noises at them."
Somebody needs to tell Cynthia Erivo to leave Noni's fancy black and silver plastic lace placemats alone! Those only come out at Christmas and baptism parties!
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes #Fashion
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes #Fashion
January 6, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Somebody needs to tell Cynthia Erivo to leave Noni's fancy black and silver plastic lace placemats alone! Those only come out at Christmas and baptism parties!
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes #Fashion
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes #Fashion
Well, someone has to sell Jeremy Strong and his seafoam velvet suit some real estate in Miami and apparently it's #SexyPriest
#GoldenGlobes #RedCarpet
#GoldenGlobes #RedCarpet
January 6, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Well, someone has to sell Jeremy Strong and his seafoam velvet suit some real estate in Miami and apparently it's #SexyPriest
#GoldenGlobes #RedCarpet
#GoldenGlobes #RedCarpet
I love it when dudes take chances on the #redcarpet, so I'll give Jeremy Strong some credit there.
However, this is *a lot* of sea foam green.
A Lot.
With the bucket hat, glasses and turtleneck I'm getting Maxwell Smart trying to stay undercover in Miami in January 1967.
#GoldenGlobes
However, this is *a lot* of sea foam green.
A Lot.
With the bucket hat, glasses and turtleneck I'm getting Maxwell Smart trying to stay undercover in Miami in January 1967.
#GoldenGlobes
January 6, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I love it when dudes take chances on the #redcarpet, so I'll give Jeremy Strong some credit there.
However, this is *a lot* of sea foam green.
A Lot.
With the bucket hat, glasses and turtleneck I'm getting Maxwell Smart trying to stay undercover in Miami in January 1967.
#GoldenGlobes
However, this is *a lot* of sea foam green.
A Lot.
With the bucket hat, glasses and turtleneck I'm getting Maxwell Smart trying to stay undercover in Miami in January 1967.
#GoldenGlobes
Well, Katherine Hahn's skirt is going to the #GoldenGlobes, but I think her top is headed for a Stevie Nicks themed 80's Night at a club called Rumors in Des Moines.
#RedCarpet
#RedCarpet
January 6, 2025 at 6:26 AM
Well, Katherine Hahn's skirt is going to the #GoldenGlobes, but I think her top is headed for a Stevie Nicks themed 80's Night at a club called Rumors in Des Moines.
#RedCarpet
#RedCarpet
January 6, 2025 at 6:24 AM
Apparently now we know what happens when you cross The Handmaid's Tale with a carwash.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
January 6, 2025 at 6:21 AM
Apparently now we know what happens when you cross The Handmaid's Tale with a carwash.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
The Great Bed Ruffle Robbery starring Melissa McCarthy.
Many a 1981 Sears catalog bedroom set is missing it's accessories tonight.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
Many a 1981 Sears catalog bedroom set is missing it's accessories tonight.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
January 6, 2025 at 6:19 AM
The Great Bed Ruffle Robbery starring Melissa McCarthy.
Many a 1981 Sears catalog bedroom set is missing it's accessories tonight.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
Many a 1981 Sears catalog bedroom set is missing it's accessories tonight.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
Is it too much to hope for Eddie Redmayne carrying around a metric shit ton of #Scrabble tiles in his pockets?
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
January 6, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Is it too much to hope for Eddie Redmayne carrying around a metric shit ton of #Scrabble tiles in his pockets?
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
Chalamet has gone straight from Dylan biopic to dissolute 19th century poet with a laudanum problem... I guess that's not really much of a stylistic stretch.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
January 6, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Chalamet has gone straight from Dylan biopic to dissolute 19th century poet with a laudanum problem... I guess that's not really much of a stylistic stretch.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
You say tomato, I say tomato.
Fashion approved by the Heinz ketchup Fashion Advisory Board.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
Fashion approved by the Heinz ketchup Fashion Advisory Board.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
January 6, 2025 at 6:10 AM
You say tomato, I say tomato.
Fashion approved by the Heinz ketchup Fashion Advisory Board.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
Fashion approved by the Heinz ketchup Fashion Advisory Board.
#RedCarpet #GoldenGlobes
While not the Golden Globes, Here's Ariana Grande at the #PalmSprings #FilmFestival reminding us all to keep those New Years resolutions rolling by remembering to keep our yoga stability balls inflated.
#RedCarpet
#RedCarpet
January 6, 2025 at 6:08 AM
While not the Golden Globes, Here's Ariana Grande at the #PalmSprings #FilmFestival reminding us all to keep those New Years resolutions rolling by remembering to keep our yoga stability balls inflated.
#RedCarpet
#RedCarpet
#RedCarpet Commentary ahead:
There are rules
Remember, this is my all-inclusive party boat of a timeline, so
No body shaming
No slut shaming
No racist, homophobic, or transphobic twattery
Savage the unfortunate gown, not the person wearing it.
There are rules
Remember, this is my all-inclusive party boat of a timeline, so
No body shaming
No slut shaming
No racist, homophobic, or transphobic twattery
Savage the unfortunate gown, not the person wearing it.
January 6, 2025 at 6:04 AM
#RedCarpet Commentary ahead:
There are rules
Remember, this is my all-inclusive party boat of a timeline, so
No body shaming
No slut shaming
No racist, homophobic, or transphobic twattery
Savage the unfortunate gown, not the person wearing it.
There are rules
Remember, this is my all-inclusive party boat of a timeline, so
No body shaming
No slut shaming
No racist, homophobic, or transphobic twattery
Savage the unfortunate gown, not the person wearing it.
I've got to get a new doctor.
Whose doctor orders a metabolic panel and cholesterol check at 5:30pm on New Year's Eve when I'm 46% Christmas cookie and 38% cheese by volume?
I think there's a prohibition against this sort of thing in the Geneva Convention.
Whose doctor orders a metabolic panel and cholesterol check at 5:30pm on New Year's Eve when I'm 46% Christmas cookie and 38% cheese by volume?
I think there's a prohibition against this sort of thing in the Geneva Convention.
January 1, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I've got to get a new doctor.
Whose doctor orders a metabolic panel and cholesterol check at 5:30pm on New Year's Eve when I'm 46% Christmas cookie and 38% cheese by volume?
I think there's a prohibition against this sort of thing in the Geneva Convention.
Whose doctor orders a metabolic panel and cholesterol check at 5:30pm on New Year's Eve when I'm 46% Christmas cookie and 38% cheese by volume?
I think there's a prohibition against this sort of thing in the Geneva Convention.
I had no idea #SchittsCreek had a Thai restaurant.
December 31, 2024 at 4:49 AM
I had no idea #SchittsCreek had a Thai restaurant.
After receiving the yearly heap of family update letters in Christmas cards again this year I wonder why, yet again, I didn't get my act together and send out a "Here's what our asshole #cats did this year and how we did absolutely nothing of note while feeling overly busy" letter?
December 29, 2024 at 9:34 PM
After receiving the yearly heap of family update letters in Christmas cards again this year I wonder why, yet again, I didn't get my act together and send out a "Here's what our asshole #cats did this year and how we did absolutely nothing of note while feeling overly busy" letter?
On #resolutions: The world is entirely *too* full of #fitness influencers🤸🏼♀️ under the age of 40 posting videos that say something along the lines of "Do these 3 exercises 5x each per day and your back/hip pain will disappear for good."
Step aside, Sierra.
Step aside, Sierra.
December 29, 2024 at 5:16 AM
On #resolutions: The world is entirely *too* full of #fitness influencers🤸🏼♀️ under the age of 40 posting videos that say something along the lines of "Do these 3 exercises 5x each per day and your back/hip pain will disappear for good."
Step aside, Sierra.
Step aside, Sierra.
A crocheted craft ad sent me to #Whamhalla today. Sharon, not only do those hole filled acrylic pot holders not protect my hands from the dutch oven & possibly melt on contact, but now I'm out of the holiday song marathon running on day 8?! I hope your dog poops in your craft fair sequined loafers
December 9, 2024 at 3:24 AM
A crocheted craft ad sent me to #Whamhalla today. Sharon, not only do those hole filled acrylic pot holders not protect my hands from the dutch oven & possibly melt on contact, but now I'm out of the holiday song marathon running on day 8?! I hope your dog poops in your craft fair sequined loafers