@Joust_A_Minute
@joustaminute.bsky.social
Depression, anxiety. Heavily medicated for your safety.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind...
Just a sense of humour with adult content.
Twitter @Joust_A_Minute (For now)🔞
There is no such thing as a dirty mind...
Just a sense of humour with adult content.
Twitter @Joust_A_Minute (For now)🔞
Pinned
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LESS CENSORSHIP!
███████████?
NOW!
LESS CENSORSHIP!
███████████?
NOW!
November 29, 2025 at 5:56 PM
██████████?
LESS CENSORSHIP!
███████████?
NOW!
LESS CENSORSHIP!
███████████?
NOW!
“Hello, I was wondering if you had any spaces left for your Monday evening Yoga Class”.
“I’m afraid we’re fully stretched at the moment, Sir.”
“I’m afraid we’re fully stretched at the moment, Sir.”
November 29, 2025 at 1:10 PM
“Hello, I was wondering if you had any spaces left for your Monday evening Yoga Class”.
“I’m afraid we’re fully stretched at the moment, Sir.”
“I’m afraid we’re fully stretched at the moment, Sir.”
Sergeant Major: “This is the Tina Turner regiment and we are simply the best. You, what’s your name, soldier?”
Soldier: “PRIVATE DAN, SIR!”
Soldier: “PRIVATE DAN, SIR!”
November 29, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Sergeant Major: “This is the Tina Turner regiment and we are simply the best. You, what’s your name, soldier?”
Soldier: “PRIVATE DAN, SIR!”
Soldier: “PRIVATE DAN, SIR!”
I used to be a grave robber but I don’t like to talk about it. It’s just digging up the passed.
November 29, 2025 at 11:26 AM
I used to be a grave robber but I don’t like to talk about it. It’s just digging up the passed.
Anyone else able to tie rope using telekinesis?
Thought knot.
Thought knot.
November 29, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Anyone else able to tie rope using telekinesis?
Thought knot.
Thought knot.
TOPTIP: Fool people into thinking you have expensive hub caps on your car by attaching cable ties to your alloy wheels.
November 29, 2025 at 10:45 AM
TOPTIP: Fool people into thinking you have expensive hub caps on your car by attaching cable ties to your alloy wheels.
Its National Apostrophe’s Awarenes’s Day today.
November 29, 2025 at 10:41 AM
Its National Apostrophe’s Awarenes’s Day today.
My new career as a proctologist begins in Ernest next week.
November 28, 2025 at 11:19 AM
My new career as a proctologist begins in Ernest next week.
Awkward. Need to tell a friend they have personal hygiene issues, terrible taste and an unpleasant personality. But I haven’t decided who yet.
November 28, 2025 at 7:05 AM
Awkward. Need to tell a friend they have personal hygiene issues, terrible taste and an unpleasant personality. But I haven’t decided who yet.
I can’t seem to find a card for “Sorry I left my stool sample in your mother’s fridge”.
November 28, 2025 at 7:04 AM
I can’t seem to find a card for “Sorry I left my stool sample in your mother’s fridge”.
Call me a genius if you like, but if I had a shop that sold China I’d have a cattle grid outside the front door.
November 28, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Call me a genius if you like, but if I had a shop that sold China I’d have a cattle grid outside the front door.
TOPTIP: Pretend you’ve just done the school run by simply walking round the streets carrying a scooter at 9am.
November 28, 2025 at 6:36 AM
TOPTIP: Pretend you’ve just done the school run by simply walking round the streets carrying a scooter at 9am.
I agree when women say a bit of lippy and a nice dress can be incredibly sexy. My fellow commuters can’t take their eyes off me!
November 28, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I agree when women say a bit of lippy and a nice dress can be incredibly sexy. My fellow commuters can’t take their eyes off me!
My friend is half Italian. Well, his name’s Ian.
November 28, 2025 at 6:20 AM
My friend is half Italian. Well, his name’s Ian.
Struggling for my Friday mojo. I’m more jaded than a TV detective on a final warning.
November 28, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Struggling for my Friday mojo. I’m more jaded than a TV detective on a final warning.
My wife wants me to take her to Las Vegas to see The Temptations for Christmas.
Instead, I'm going to Primark to get her four tops.
Instead, I'm going to Primark to get her four tops.
November 28, 2025 at 6:13 AM
My wife wants me to take her to Las Vegas to see The Temptations for Christmas.
Instead, I'm going to Primark to get her four tops.
Instead, I'm going to Primark to get her four tops.
It’s t-shirt weather in Darlington. That is, you can go out with just a t-shirt under your jumper, as opposed to another jumper.
November 28, 2025 at 6:08 AM
It’s t-shirt weather in Darlington. That is, you can go out with just a t-shirt under your jumper, as opposed to another jumper.
I’m having one of those days where it feels like I just can’t do anything rihgt.
November 28, 2025 at 6:03 AM
I’m having one of those days where it feels like I just can’t do anything rihgt.
Now they’re saying that chocolate and red wine aren’t good for you after all. Looks like I’ve become a fat alcoholic for nothing.
November 27, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Now they’re saying that chocolate and red wine aren’t good for you after all. Looks like I’ve become a fat alcoholic for nothing.
My boss: “You’ve been quiet – can we hear your thoughts?”
Me: “Damn, I hope not”.
Me: “Damn, I hope not”.
November 27, 2025 at 9:47 PM
My boss: “You’ve been quiet – can we hear your thoughts?”
Me: “Damn, I hope not”.
Me: “Damn, I hope not”.
I don’t mind people kissing at a barbeque but, please, no tongs.
November 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
I don’t mind people kissing at a barbeque but, please, no tongs.
Disappointed that my girlfriend’s ‘Brazilian wax’ that she got yesterday turned out to be a candle in the shape of Pelé.
November 27, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Disappointed that my girlfriend’s ‘Brazilian wax’ that she got yesterday turned out to be a candle in the shape of Pelé.
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my flat so that it’s not in my way.
November 27, 2025 at 12:53 PM
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my flat so that it’s not in my way.
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend; but Dogs are a man’s best friend. Can we pick again?
November 27, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend; but Dogs are a man’s best friend. Can we pick again?