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josefschwem.com
Six Tiny Ghouls
@josefschwem.com
420 followers 400 following 890 posts
Author of the webcomic Please Forgive Me!!!
I'm nice
He/Him
https://gobolatula.com/pfm/
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josefschwem.com
their app has the lowest star rating of any official fast food app I've seen
November 10, 2025 at 8:31 PM
josefschwem.com
I finally got around to playing "anthology of the killer" and I gotta say, it's got good vibes, good art, good music, good prose, it's funny. Good game.
November 6, 2025 at 6:17 PM
josefschwem.com
I would use a toothpaste that had extra fluoride in it if it promised to give me teeth like that guy from moonraker, even if people thought my shiny metal teeth were ugly.

art by @gobolatula.bsky.social
panel from please forgive me!!! comic #186: "Colorado Brown Stain." it depicts a white bear biting on the bars of its cage with small flecks of brown in its teeth. https://gobolatula.com/pfm/comic/186-biting-off-more-than-i-can-chew/
October 30, 2025 at 8:25 PM
josefschwem.com
this has been one of my favorite panels we've done recently.
October 19, 2025 at 4:58 AM
josefschwem.com
Today's Please Forgive Me!!! Comic is about Tolerance. Tolerance is Patience's cousin from Wisconsin.
The gang hangs out in the parking lot of "Ricky's food trough and Grille," a sit down family style restaurant. TRISSSH: Alright, let's get supper. How about ricky's? My Treat. EVERYBODY: RICKY'S FOOD TROUGH AND GRILLE??? TRISSSH: Yeah. Trisssh goes to talk to the host. TUBSY: Man, it's been so long, I've been CRAVING a loaf of their ultimate loaded triple bacon nacho bites. ALLY: Would Trisssh be mad if I got two pizza steaks? Trisssh comes back. Everybody is surprised by what she has to say. TRISSSH: Sorry, Sorry, change of plans. Ricky's racist. PASQUALO: ...What's up? TRISSSH: Monsters aren't welcome in his "Trough" apparently. How does thai food sound to you guys? Everybody goes to comfort Trisssh, who looks annoyed. ALLY: Oh my god! PASQUALO: I'm so sorry Trisssh. TROIKA: Tie food sounds scary! Patience bonks Troika on the head. PATIENCE: Oh my god, read the room, kid.
October 13, 2025 at 4:25 PM
josefschwem.com
the caramel in m&ms is absolutely disgusting (and this is coming from a caramel FAN) and it's corporate malpractice that they replaced the delicious "coffee nut" variety with this shit. no kidding I think about this every time I see these in the store, lol
m&ms caramel cold brew
September 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
josefschwem.com
can you tell me, is this a fake watermelon in horse feathers (1932), or do watermelons just look that way in black and white, or watermelons just looked that way in the thirties, or is this some kind of other melon that fell out of favor, perhaps the fabled "hitler melon"
a scene in horse feathers where a professor holds a watermlon. groucho says "well, all you need now is a bowl of cherries."
August 22, 2025 at 1:22 AM
josefschwem.com
Today's please forgive me!!! comic is...
shrek 2 (2004) - human shrek scene, and it's only a five out of ten
August 20, 2025 at 4:59 PM
josefschwem.com
look at where that fucking salt is and look how fucking big it is. why is there a single cherry tomato in the background. does that represent ketchup? this is some artsy "deconstruction" of french fries isnt it?
the wikipedia image of french fries seasoned with salt, where the salt isnt on the fries, is way too coarse, and theres a tiny tomato in the background for some reason. bizarre image.
August 19, 2025 at 1:09 AM
josefschwem.com
Carlo Ginzburg really organizes this good good book in a compelling way, going from talking about abstract ideas in menocchio's cosmology and the older traditions it may borrow from, to examining the man personally.
Apparently, Menocchio hadn’t wanted to confide even in his wife and children: “God forbid that they should have had such opinions.” Despite all his ties to the village, he must have felt very much alone: “That night,” he admitted, “when the father inquisitor told me ‘Come away tomorrow to Maniago’ I was almost beside myself, and I wanted to go out and cause some harm … I wanted to kill priests and set fire to churches and do something crazy: but because of my two little children, I restrained myself. …” This outburst of powerless desperation speaks eloquently about his isolation. In the face of the injustice afflicting him, his only reaction was one that he had suppressed instantly, that of individual violence: to revenge himself on his persecutors, lash out against the symbols of the oppression, and become an outlaw. A generation before, the peasants had set fire to the castles of the Friulian nobility. But times had changed.
August 17, 2025 at 11:52 PM
josefschwem.com
This is wild. Put bloodborne on switch 2
August 15, 2025 at 1:24 AM
josefschwem.com
Please Forgive Me!!! today is about Podiums. just about the classiest way you can store your speech notes an appropriate distance from your eyeballs. What a spectacular invention. "What will they think of next."
art by @gobolatula.bsky.social
read at plz4give.me
Mayor Shumway is dripping nervous sweat at a podium. Offscreen protestors chant "War! War! That's no good! Instead let's eat some tasty Fud!" (but with an umlaut over the u) Mayor Shumway says "Ha ha... of course, the right to protest is, er... one of the most vital parts of our democracy. And I would never dream of suppressing that!" Shumway covers his mic and orders terry to "fucking do some suppressing already!?" Terry says "on it." Terry saunters up to the podium and calls out to the two protestors he recognizes, Eliza and Pasqualo. "Eliza! Pasqualo! Hi Ladies! Stop providing succor to the enemy! you're gonna get innocent humans killed!" off screen the ladies shout, ELIZA: "Succor a fat turd, Terry!" PASQUALO: "Yeah! the pinewolves aren't any enemies of mine!" Terry (not making any effort on covering up the microphone) says to a visibly unimpressed Mayor Shumway that, "Wow I did NOT expect them to be so eloquent. Did you hear that turd line? Outta nowhere, man..."
July 30, 2025 at 3:04 PM
josefschwem.com
Today's Please Forgive Me!!! Comic is about tearful reunions. Great cure for boredom, tearful reunions. You got nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon, try a tearful reunion.

Art by @gobolatula.bsky.social, words by me. Read all our comics at plz4give.me !!
Patience suggests: "...so should we just kill the mayor?" Trisssh snaps her fingers and points at Patience in assent to her idea. Katie sternly says Patience's name. Tubsy enters the room, followed by a goofy, furry young man. Tubsy: Ah okay, here you are. Everybody: Tubsy!! Ally runs into Tubsy's arms, squealing in joy. Pasqualo: Wait, weren't you gonna be hunting bigfoot with your uncle all summer? Ally is in Tubsy's arms, kissing him on the cheek. The furry lad is screaming. Tubsy: I dunno, probably. But then I caught news about what happened with the phanatic statue, so I had to rush home right away. Furry Child: Ah. Ah AHHH! AHHWWOOO-OWWW! AHOW AWWOWW AHHH!! AAHHHHHHHHH!!! Tubsy: My cousin wants to know where the bathroom is.
July 4, 2025 at 4:43 PM
josefschwem.com
We finally reveal that Terry is the other side of the debate. He’s wearing a NJ Dreadbears hat and Jersey. He puts a Dreadbear hat on the host. TERRY: Now you’re getting it! TERRY: Look, Miss Trianglini, I’m sympathetic to your liberal pansy concerns, but fact of the matter is, we were ATTACKED. And when you’re attacked, you gotta fight back. You gotta retaliate with overwhelming, disproportionate violence, otherwise how else will you impress upon your enemies how big and veiny your nuts are? HOST: Please don’t say “big veiny nuts” on here... PASQUALO: This is ridiculous! We attacked them first, and the barrens are their territory! These are facts, you can’t just— The panel pulls back to reveal this has all been on one of those screens they have above urinals, at like sports bars and shit like that. A man using the urinal and clearly not paying attention to the show lets off a fart while he pisses. HOST: This has been “The Piss Take,” a political Roundtable show airing exclusively on those little screens they install above urinals sometimes, and my guests have been Pantsqualia Trianglo and Terry Crews. We’re sponsored in part by a grant from “the big gun store at the edge of town.” God bless America and “Go Dreadbears!”
June 30, 2025 at 6:01 PM
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PASQUALO: Exactly. Think about it: the Pinewolves don’t have anything against regular people like us. It’s Mayor Shumway who’s behind all this. He wants to turn us against the barrens and start a war just so he can build his precious football stadium! HOST: Hold on. Football Stadium? PASQUALO: Oh yeah, it’s so fuuuuu… Can I swear on here? HOST: Please don’t. PASQUALO: —Fricked up. Mayor Shumway wants to bulldoze the barrens and put a football stadium in its place! The host is intrigued by the possibility of the stadium. HOST: A football stadium would bring a lot of commerce and prestige to our sleepy little town…. PASQUALO: That’s besides the point!
June 30, 2025 at 5:58 PM
josefschwem.com
Please Forgive Me!!!

We're back with Chapter 24, titled "It Hurts!!"
This is a long one, as always you can read it on the website:
plz4give.me

art by @gobolatula.bsky.social
The panel has rounded edges like an old school monitor or television. It is showing a news debate show featuring Pasqualo, dressed in a woman’s suit with 80s style giant shoulder pads. She’s also got makeup on, applied with an amateur’s hand. She’s trying to look “professional.” OFFSCREEN VOICE: Are you seriously claiming that the pinewolves AREN’T responsible for the attack on the memorial? PASQUALO: What? No, of course not. I’m saying that the attack was a measured retaliation for repeated violations in their sovereignty— VOICE:—oh come on, Miss Trianglini— Pasqualo continues to speak through the interruptions. PASQUALO: —CULMINATING, excuse me, culminating, in an act of, of... chemical warfare upon the forest, the consequences of which are still unknown—! VOICE: A harmless celebratory green smoke, the kind you’d find at any half-decent St. Patrick’s day celebration in the world. Or Snoop Dog’s limousine! Get it? Can I get a retake on that? Pasqualo is annoyed but continues. PASQUALO: ...So they say. The point is this was an act of self defense, an assertion of their authority in the face of naked aggression on our part, and frankly they showed great restraint in sparing everybody’s lives. We turn to reveal the host. He’s a conservatively dressed white guy. HOST: Well we can thank god for that, that nobody lost their life. VOICE: Ha! Ridiculous...
June 30, 2025 at 5:55 PM
josefschwem.com
Check out these cool images, and many more, on our website!!!
Mayor Shumway smirks at Twigchewer from across a meadow. Twigchewer regards Shumway with undisguised loathing. A simple villager declares that the forest folke are demons and must be driven out Shroomsniffer (a wizardy pinewolf) winks at the camera a guy with an anguished expression on his face. whats going on with him??? youll have to read the comic to find out!!!
June 4, 2025 at 10:18 PM
josefschwem.com
I was feeling nostalgic for Roadhog 1.0 hook mechanics, dumpstering entire teams in the Ilios well... but I don't feel any desire to go back the way I do with TF2 or Siege. what is it about Overwatch specifically that I LOVED playing it for 1-2 years and yet I can't imagine ever installing it again?
June 1, 2025 at 8:23 PM
josefschwem.com
I like when Sharp draws people doing this pose. I need to exclaim with arms outstretched more often in my day to day life.

There's a muppety flavor to his characters sometimes that I really enjoy.
May 26, 2025 at 8:26 PM
josefschwem.com
Today's Extra Long Super-Serious Please Forgive Me!!! Comic is about "the woods." To read it all:

gobolatula.com/pfm/comic/56...

drawn by @gobolatula.bsky.social
4 page-width panels: 1.) dark smoke over the forest. 2.) it starts to rain. 3.) the foliage sizzles and melts in the rain, releasing hot caustic vapor 4.) More plants and even animals start melting.
May 16, 2025 at 1:10 PM
josefschwem.com
thank you capybaratips-dot-com, that is indeed every I should know
May 14, 2025 at 8:38 PM
josefschwem.com
Share the last 4 games you've played and that's it.
dave the diver is a game about a diver dude who catches fish to serve as sushi in his boss's restaurant. monster hunter wilds is a game about hunting and skinning monsters, but the twist this time is that they are WILD Nubby's number factory is a roguelike peggle with an aesthetic that deliberately evokes amateurish content of the early 2000s ENA: dream BBQ is a game where you wander around surreal environments and talk to a variety of interesting images
May 14, 2025 at 8:34 PM
josefschwem.com
look I'm as patriotic a michigander as anyone else but there is no way in hell I'm paying 15 bucks for one of these
A frozen "detroit style" pizza from Buddy's Pizza, the detroit-area chain that invented and popularized the style. It might be good, I don't know, because I am not gonna spend that much money on a frozen pizza lol
April 2, 2025 at 7:33 PM
josefschwem.com
pretty sure this is the one
a yellow flag celebrating the coors brand of beer. its yellow and really visually busy but at least its not explicitly fascist
April 2, 2025 at 5:59 PM
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Please read Please Forgive Me!!!

gobolatula.com/pfm/
A close up of Sexual Steven, a character from the series Please Forgive Me. He is an older darker-skinned gentleman with a white goatee and invisible-colored eyes. He says: "The truths I saw there will forever bar me from the cycle of samsara. Damned to remain a wandering shadow until all the lights in heaven blink out, heralding sweet and final oblivion."
March 24, 2025 at 11:17 AM