Joplin Jayne
@joplinjayne.bsky.social
Comedian + Host of #DissgruntledPodcast
Man rancid grapes sure can be fun can’t they
May 28, 2024 at 1:43 AM
Man rancid grapes sure can be fun can’t they
There is a certain amount of sitting and doing nothing that is necessary for a happy life
May 24, 2024 at 12:11 AM
There is a certain amount of sitting and doing nothing that is necessary for a happy life
My mother is more of a celebrity to me than any of these plastic freaks they keep shoving in our faces
May 23, 2024 at 3:12 PM
My mother is more of a celebrity to me than any of these plastic freaks they keep shoving in our faces
Being a kid is 80% cardio
May 21, 2024 at 1:32 AM
Being a kid is 80% cardio
Why aren’t there more purple cars?
May 12, 2024 at 9:15 PM
Why aren’t there more purple cars?
Stop pronouncing La Croix that way. It’s wrong.
May 12, 2024 at 6:40 PM
Stop pronouncing La Croix that way. It’s wrong.
I miss the days when I was blissfully unaware of Drew Barrymore’s personality
May 11, 2024 at 7:52 PM
I miss the days when I was blissfully unaware of Drew Barrymore’s personality
Humans and grass both smell good after a haircut.
May 10, 2024 at 1:54 PM
Humans and grass both smell good after a haircut.
I consider myself to be a free American until my little white fluffy dog gets on her back, shows me her tummy, and I fall to my knees to rub it. I am but a slave.
May 9, 2024 at 12:53 PM
I consider myself to be a free American until my little white fluffy dog gets on her back, shows me her tummy, and I fall to my knees to rub it. I am but a slave.
Popsicles: the food that slowly commits suicide in your hand
May 9, 2024 at 3:00 AM
Popsicles: the food that slowly commits suicide in your hand
Do what I do, if anybody calls you an idiot, just tell them you’ll need a second opinion on that diagnosis and walk away
May 8, 2024 at 3:44 AM
Do what I do, if anybody calls you an idiot, just tell them you’ll need a second opinion on that diagnosis and walk away
The most primary function of a dog is to just hang out, near a human.
May 7, 2024 at 8:23 PM
The most primary function of a dog is to just hang out, near a human.
I miss when Tacos Bell buildings looked like they sold tacos and not subprime loans.
May 7, 2024 at 2:56 PM
I miss when Tacos Bell buildings looked like they sold tacos and not subprime loans.
Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! Always thought it would be white people celebrating mayonnaise but you do you Mexicans, I support you ♥️
May 6, 2024 at 1:33 AM
Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! Always thought it would be white people celebrating mayonnaise but you do you Mexicans, I support you ♥️
No one on this planet is more tone deaf about what others think of them than men on bombastic loud motorcycles who think anyone feels anything but hot disgust for them
May 5, 2024 at 5:05 PM
No one on this planet is more tone deaf about what others think of them than men on bombastic loud motorcycles who think anyone feels anything but hot disgust for them
Interesting how every form of temperature (cool, hot, cold) can be used to describe something that is very neat as well as very bad
May 5, 2024 at 3:59 PM
Interesting how every form of temperature (cool, hot, cold) can be used to describe something that is very neat as well as very bad
Anytime someone with a common name like “Chris Brown” or something of that nature breaks through and becomes famous, I can almost hear the groans of throngs of folks around the country whose lives just got a lot more annoying.
April 30, 2024 at 2:51 PM
Anytime someone with a common name like “Chris Brown” or something of that nature breaks through and becomes famous, I can almost hear the groans of throngs of folks around the country whose lives just got a lot more annoying.
My whole life is just training to become the sassiest old lady you have ever met.
April 30, 2024 at 1:43 AM
My whole life is just training to become the sassiest old lady you have ever met.
The nerve of Ford, to call that piece of sh*t a Fiesta
April 27, 2024 at 5:41 PM
The nerve of Ford, to call that piece of sh*t a Fiesta
Money really is a construct cuz like, all my dogs need is two walks in one day to feel like billionaires
April 24, 2024 at 8:33 PM
Money really is a construct cuz like, all my dogs need is two walks in one day to feel like billionaires
Sometimes I’m in the mood to eat a sandwich that is so large it’s undignified to eat in public
April 24, 2024 at 6:21 PM
Sometimes I’m in the mood to eat a sandwich that is so large it’s undignified to eat in public
Quit asking me to ping you u horny freak
April 23, 2024 at 2:07 PM
Quit asking me to ping you u horny freak
For better or for worse, Larry David is undeniably my patron saint.
April 17, 2024 at 2:44 PM
For better or for worse, Larry David is undeniably my patron saint.
Naps just hit different on Saturdays.
April 13, 2024 at 8:54 PM
Naps just hit different on Saturdays.
A fun game to play if you really wanna annoy someone is: count out loud every time they chew and see how far you get before they punch you.
April 12, 2024 at 1:47 AM
A fun game to play if you really wanna annoy someone is: count out loud every time they chew and see how far you get before they punch you.