John Paul Stadler
@johnpaulstadler.bsky.social
Area pervert and pie taster; gay; film and media scholar —> mostly queer and porn-centric research. Opinions are mine and mine alone.
Pinned
Eight years ago my friends surprised me by baking a waterpizzamelon, after I had spent the better portion of the year incessantly tweeting about my love for this abomination. Never question my commitment to the bit. #filthiestpersonalive #waterpizzamelon
Nothing could make me less likely to want to shop at a store than store-mandated faux optimism, friendliness, smiling/staring/asking how my day is going. Y’all need to learn how to be human. This is not the way.
"Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.
They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."
🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."
🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
Target is now requiring its employees to smile more
As the holiday season fast approaches, Target is urging its employees to add a little more “jolly” to their work routine.
www.wilx.com
November 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Nothing could make me less likely to want to shop at a store than store-mandated faux optimism, friendliness, smiling/staring/asking how my day is going. Y’all need to learn how to be human. This is not the way.
Reposted by John Paul Stadler
I feel like we have the opportunity to turn David Lynch's quote into this moment's "Keep Calm and Carry On" and it's a far better rallying cry too.
November 7, 2025 at 1:15 PM
I feel like we have the opportunity to turn David Lynch's quote into this moment's "Keep Calm and Carry On" and it's a far better rallying cry too.
Real?
There's a very real possibility the incoming NYC mayor has seen your nudes
This labeller never misses
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Real?
Reposted by John Paul Stadler
All day, many of you have been asking for a Cheney obituary from me. Get ready:
His Works Completed, Dick Cheney, Mass Murderer of Iraqis and American Democracy, Dies
As much as the Trumpists claim to disavow the War on Terror, they walk a path paved by the most powerful vice president in U.S. history.
www.thenation.com
November 4, 2025 at 5:55 PM
All day, many of you have been asking for a Cheney obituary from me. Get ready:
It is right to remember people as they were, for their deeds, and in the case of politicians for what they did and made possible, and not sugarcoat or produce milquetoast revisionist hagiographies. This man was vile and America is worse off because he existed.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney has died. He leaves behind a legacy of war, torture and impunity.
“The Dark Side”: Dick Cheney’s Legacy from Iraq Invasion to U.S. Torture Program
Dick Cheney, the former vice president and one of the key architects of the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq, died Monday at age 84. Cheney served six terms in Congress as Wyoming’s lone representative befo...
www.democracynow.org
November 4, 2025 at 6:05 PM
It is right to remember people as they were, for their deeds, and in the case of politicians for what they did and made possible, and not sugarcoat or produce milquetoast revisionist hagiographies. This man was vile and America is worse off because he existed.
One of my strongest compulsions is the desire to get stickers fully off of products I buy, and this irrational need has resulted most recently in me accidentally stabbing my thumb with a razor.
November 3, 2025 at 4:50 PM
One of my strongest compulsions is the desire to get stickers fully off of products I buy, and this irrational need has resulted most recently in me accidentally stabbing my thumb with a razor.
Will I ever be able to grade essays quickly? Survey says…
November 2, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Will I ever be able to grade essays quickly? Survey says…
“If every disappointment, criticism, wrongdoing, or trauma is treated as a sacrifice that one must give up to God, how is introspection, change, or personal responsibility even possible?” My therapist is going to love me this week.
November 2, 2025 at 8:35 PM
“If every disappointment, criticism, wrongdoing, or trauma is treated as a sacrifice that one must give up to God, how is introspection, change, or personal responsibility even possible?” My therapist is going to love me this week.
The punishments will continue until morale improves!
November 2, 2025 at 8:12 PM
The punishments will continue until morale improves!
I remember when the idea of a “dark room” at a club used to mean something.
November 2, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I remember when the idea of a “dark room” at a club used to mean something.
Frantically patting myself down looking for my car keys that were in one of my two hands frantically patting myself down looking for my car keys.
November 2, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Frantically patting myself down looking for my car keys that were in one of my two hands frantically patting myself down looking for my car keys.
Bizarro Bucket Boy was a success: I wore buckets and held singlets. This made sense to my friends, and that’s all that matters! Have fun, be weird.
November 2, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Bizarro Bucket Boy was a success: I wore buckets and held singlets. This made sense to my friends, and that’s all that matters! Have fun, be weird.
It’s a beautiful day out there!
November 1, 2025 at 9:42 PM
It’s a beautiful day out there!
My favorite coffee shop in Durham is super dog friendly and today all of the dogs are in costumes because they’re doing a free Halloween pet photo shoot. I am in heaven.
November 1, 2025 at 5:21 PM
My favorite coffee shop in Durham is super dog friendly and today all of the dogs are in costumes because they’re doing a free Halloween pet photo shoot. I am in heaven.
It just doesn't feel like Halloween if I am not frantically finishing up my costume and also bleeding all over my costume because I accidentally took a razor to my thumb!
October 31, 2025 at 11:39 PM
It just doesn't feel like Halloween if I am not frantically finishing up my costume and also bleeding all over my costume because I accidentally took a razor to my thumb!
Reposted by John Paul Stadler
lmao david byrne showed the video of the ice agents tripping over themselves while trying to run after a biker on wacker drive during the “life during wartime” segment of his chicago show tonight
October 30, 2025 at 3:41 AM
lmao david byrne showed the video of the ice agents tripping over themselves while trying to run after a biker on wacker drive during the “life during wartime” segment of his chicago show tonight
Shout out to my fellow state employees of North Carolina who are discovering our health insurance next year will cover less and cost twice as much as last year. Oh, and we have received no cost of living adjustment or raise to our salary because we're 4 months behind having a state budget.
October 30, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Shout out to my fellow state employees of North Carolina who are discovering our health insurance next year will cover less and cost twice as much as last year. Oh, and we have received no cost of living adjustment or raise to our salary because we're 4 months behind having a state budget.
It should be illegal to use the sound effect of a siren on the radio.
October 29, 2025 at 2:28 PM
It should be illegal to use the sound effect of a siren on the radio.
Ugh, I have a vague note in my calendar that "_________ visits Durham" for seven days in November and I don't know who _________ is or if this means I offered to let them stay with me. Love my brain.
October 28, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Ugh, I have a vague note in my calendar that "_________ visits Durham" for seven days in November and I don't know who _________ is or if this means I offered to let them stay with me. Love my brain.
People in coffee shops who take calls on speaker phone are wild. Y'all need to rediscover shame.
October 28, 2025 at 3:28 PM
People in coffee shops who take calls on speaker phone are wild. Y'all need to rediscover shame.
“Being a lil gay found to be fun, heteros discover.” ~ NYT
From @theathletic.com: "There’s something wholesome about this movement, despite the partial nudity," our columnist writes about the shirtless men taking over college football. Maybe it can help cure male loneliness. nyti.ms/47q71lh
College football’s ‘shirtless dudes’ trend is all the rage. And could be curing male loneliness?
There's something wholesome about this movement, despite the partial nudity.
nyti.ms
October 28, 2025 at 2:59 AM
“Being a lil gay found to be fun, heteros discover.” ~ NYT
Time to bring back Douglas Crimp’s “How to Have Promiscuity in an Epidemic” or my own article “Vocalizing Queer Desire: Phone Sex, Radio Smut, and the AIDS Epidemic.” Fucking AI drivel.
The new AI-powered Wikipedia competitor falsely claims that pornography worsened the AIDS epidemic and that social media may be fueling a rise in transgender people.
Elon Musk's Grokipedia Pushes Far-Right Talking Points
The new AI-powered Wikipedia competitor falsely claims that pornography worsened the AIDS epidemic and that social media may be fueling a rise in transgender people.
wrd.cm
October 28, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Time to bring back Douglas Crimp’s “How to Have Promiscuity in an Epidemic” or my own article “Vocalizing Queer Desire: Phone Sex, Radio Smut, and the AIDS Epidemic.” Fucking AI drivel.
Meta, referencing the people they’re not firing: “Each person will be more load-bearing”
Me: GAY!
www.miamiherald.com/news/busines...
Me: GAY!
www.miamiherald.com/news/busines...
Read the leaked email Meta sent to the employees it just fired
Meta is doubling down on its bold layoff plan.
www.miamiherald.com
October 26, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Meta, referencing the people they’re not firing: “Each person will be more load-bearing”
Me: GAY!
www.miamiherald.com/news/busines...
Me: GAY!
www.miamiherald.com/news/busines...
First day back at the gym in a month and I successfully punched myself in the mouth with my hydroflask, which simultaneously led me to bite my lip. Now I’m bleeding out into my mouth. Ahh, to be alive!
October 26, 2025 at 9:02 PM
First day back at the gym in a month and I successfully punched myself in the mouth with my hydroflask, which simultaneously led me to bite my lip. Now I’m bleeding out into my mouth. Ahh, to be alive!
Does anyone happen to have a Broadway quality CATS (the musical)costume of the character Deuteronomy that they would be willing to overnight ship me? I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing in my class this week.
October 26, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Does anyone happen to have a Broadway quality CATS (the musical)costume of the character Deuteronomy that they would be willing to overnight ship me? I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing in my class this week.