👽 Just an alien trying to survive life on this chaotic planet 🌍 with my trusty companion, Biscotti 🐶. US Army veteran (2009-2016)🫡.

🏳️‍🌈 Full-time weirdo 🤪, Swiftie at heart 🫶, mashed potato lover 🥔 , and huge anti-circumcision activist 🚫.